The Great Walmart Toilet Paper Stampede of 2020.
Terror had gripped my small city, toilet paper was gone from every store, even paper napkins and
paper towel supplies were dwindling. Gas station bathrooms had been raided. The mood was grim
and people's faces showed the pain of anal retention. Then Walmart issued a statement that there
would be a shipment of TP available upon opening one April Saturday morning.
We got there early we thought, but there was already a long line in front of the unopened door. The
word was that only one door, the north one, would be open when the time came. In the cold and dim
light, people stomped their feet, and exhaled steam, waiting for the prized paper and the mad dash home
to get relief. We were in line way back, near the south door, hoping there would still be paper left when
we got in.
By now, the line extended far out into the huge parking lot. I felt sorry for those so far back in line.
Suddenly the doors opened, even the south door near us. People ran through the store to the toilet paper
aisle near the back. there was pushing and shoving and jostling and anger. I was quick because the south
door had opened too. I grabbed two twelve packs and held them tight. Then I saw the sign saying, "One to
a customer" so I gave one of mine to a desperate looking guy unable to make to the the prize.
Things got better in the days that followed as other stores got shipments as well. The panic had passed
and a general relief fell on my little city, but I will never forget the Great Walmart Toilet Paper Stampede.
= new reply since forum marked as read
a tear from my eye, reading that!
Many happy flushes to you, panader0.
which should be mandatory anyway. 
If you don't believe that, just watch the short scene in Dead Pool 2. 
