What is the socially acceptable response when...

[Liberal Veteran]

....a friend tells you their adult child came out and the friend was the only one that was surprised?

I had that awkward moment recently where I just said, "Uh huh. Really?"

I felt like an idiot.

[Curtland1015]

1. Just be supportive, I guess.

I'm certainly not the expert, but something like "Oh, well that's great! Good for them!" would probably be my route. You know, cheerful and encouraging.

Were they really spooked by the idea or something?

[Scuba]

2. +1

[davsand]

3. Wow, sounds like you were pretty surprised by the news. How are you doing with it now?

Acknowledge the surprise and then move on. If they are really upset about it you can then choose how you want to deal with it--or not. If they are ok with it you can offer something along the lines of how wonderful it is that they support their kid or how wonderful it is to hear a story like this with a happy out come for all...

I had it happen a few years ago and it really was tough to know at that particular moment what the correct response was.



Laura

[av8rdave]

4. I'm sure the right response would be hard when you're on the spot like that

I would like to think I'd say something like, "I'm glad he/she was able to tell his/her friends and family."

I have a friend whose adult daughter is gay. As much as he and stepmom proclaim their love for her, their judgement is nonstop. She's "confused," "going through a phase," "temporarily strayed from god," etc., etc. I truly believe all the poor girl wants is their love and acceptance of who she is (she is wonderful, btw).

I hope your friend's child has a better experience!

Edited for adding content.

[my2sense]

7. +1

[pipi_k]

5. May or may not be

socially acceptable, but because I've been in therapy for so many years, my first reaction is almost always to ask, "How do you feel about that?"

[Xithras]

6. Just be nice.

Some people are just clueless. Just be nice to them, because their lack of comprehension is rarely their fault.

Besides, it's not nearly as awkward as meeting the mother of a longtime friend at a party, a friend who has been out of the closet for at least a decade and has been in a committed gay relationship with one person for two years, and having his mother say to you, "Does your wife have any single friends she could introduce him to? I'm worried about him still being alone...he needs a girlfriend."

All I could come up with was, "Umm...I'll ask."