What would you do if someone snuck in your house and replaced all your coffee with Folger Crystals

[LynneSin]

Let's see what happens.

[Baitball Blogger]

1. Most likely I would make an ass out of myself by showing what little I know about coffee.

[HappyMe]

2. That would irritate the hell out of me.

I don't want no stinkin fake ass coffee.

[HopeHoops]

3. I've got a 20 gauge shotgun for that situation.

[ohiosmith]

4. Bean em!

[hunter]

5. I'll grind up No-Doze and dissolve them in Sanka instant...

...but you'd better not mess with my wife's coffee.

[Gidney N Cloyd]

6. Replaced with crystals?

The Kelvans knew how to handle that:

[hobbit709]

7. If someone did that to me, they would be eating those crystals without benefit of water.

I consider regular Folgers floor sweepings, much less instant folgers I won't dignify it by calling Folgers coffee.

[Bertha Venation]

8. Kill something.

A cardboard box, an old shoe, a bent-up rake, a dead rosebush . . . SOMETHING will pay with its LIFE!

[Brickbat]

9. No jury would convict me.

[taterguy]

10. Wonder why the dogs are letting strangers in the house

[kentauros]

11. They'd probably leave

without replacing anything, scratching their head trying to understand what the fuck was up with those fifty-some-odd varieties of tea

[TheMightyFavog]

12. I think it would involve inserting my coffee cup up said person's rectum with considerable force...

NOBODY fucks with my Dallmayer Prodomo. This goes double if I broke out the whole bean.

[OriginalGeek]

13. I wouldn't know the difference

there's about a 50/50 chance it would have been Folger's anyway...we usually get that or Maxwell House - whatever's on sale.


I drink it black, no sugar from a quart-sized plastic cup as fast as I can chug it so as long as it isn't de-caf, I'm not likely to complain.


I was once down in Miami for a couple days of work installing a phone system in a new branch and the only thing close to the job-site was a Publix in a 99% hispanic neighborhood. They had a big set-up in the front of the store selling these tiny little cups of Cuban coffee and since I didn't know any better, I ordered 3 of 'em black. (They were so small - I couldn't grasp that the volume in those tiny cups was gonna do me any good). The ladies behind the counter spent a good 5 minutes laughing at me for ordering no cream or sugar and they even went to get a manager who spoke better english to make sure they were hearing me right. He tried to explain this wasn't what I was used to but by now I had to be coffee-counter tough guy and just drink what I ordered.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZING!

After I recovered from the first shot, I shook the manager's hand, shot the other two and ordered 2 more to go. I was wired up through supper time. Every once in a while I get a huge craving for a shot of that coffee but Miami is a long drive from here.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

14. I would hunt them down and mercilessly punish them

by making them drink a gallon of Folger's Dishwater & Battery Acid Coffee every morning. That stuff is just fucking vile.

[Incitatus]

15. I'll tell you what I wouldn't do.

I wouldn't have to buy any dog food for a while.

[4th law of robotics]

16. Call the police

and dispose all consumables in the house.

[2on2u]

17. What is a Folger? n/t

[MerryBlooms]

18. lol, for the first time ever, the husband may think my decaf green tea sounds good. :P

[Tom Ripley]

19. Chase them out onto the lawn and stab them repeatedly

I apologize for that very very bad "joke"

[petronius]

20. All I'd need to do is help my wife dispose of the body,

she would certainly get to them before I did...

[chknltl]

21. They shoot coffee don't they?

Depends on if this act of terrorism happened in a Stand Your Grounds state.

(if you think about it .....you are thinking too hard! )