Unless you want ice cream, don't bowl.

[Bertha Venation]

I'm writing this true story out for my sister, who has to tell a tale with a moral. Any ideas for punching it up? Can you suggest any humor for me?

~~~~~~~~~~~~

In 1972, I was nine years old. “The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face” was the song of the year, “The Godfather” was best picture, and a TV show called “The Rookies” was introduced. My sisters and I named our bowling team The Rookies, and halfway through the league, I’d rolled up an impressive average of 14.

We rode our bikes to and from bowling. Part of our ride was down Yorktown Avenue, a steep hill with a gully to the side -- a gully full of rocks and broken glass. On our way home from the lanes one day, as we started down this hill my front wheel began to wobble. It wobbled violently and I was thrown from my bike. I was airborne, and the gully was my destiny. I crashed, flailed, rolled, slid and finally scraped to a stop among the glass and rocks. I don’t know if I screamed, but I remember crying. One of my sisters stayed with me and tried to comfort me, while the other went to a nearby house and called for help. My stepfather showed up with the station wagon, lifted me into the passenger’s seat, put my bike in the back, and drove me home. My mother cleaned my many wounds and said that she didn’t think anything was broken. She opened the fold-away couch and put me to bed there so I could watch TV, and she brought me ice cream. Those little comforts didn’t help the pain any, but it was nice to get ice cream.

Moral: unless you want ice cream, don’t bowl.

[monmouth]

1. That bowl of ice cream was the goal of many a kid in my day who were looking

to get their tonsils out. Don't know if they still do it or not, but no kid I knew was afraid, they had ice cream to look forward to..

[HopeHoops]

2. My attitude is "Unless you want beer, don't bowl." Sadly, I can't bowl anymore.

My shattered spine prevents that. It was one of my favorite activities and I came damn close to bowling a 300. I can't even lift a 16 lb ball anymore and won't stoop to using an 8 lb ball (about the weight of a gallon of milk). Besides, if I fall on the slick lane, I'll break a bunch of other bones. Fuck. I can't even throw a Frisbee anymore. I was champion quality 20 years ago. The best I can do now is lift barbells while laying on my back in bed. Yes, if you couldn't tell, I'm bitter about it.