Stories from the Road: In the middle of life.
I just turned forty this month. I've heard that John Lennon believed that life starts at forty or at least starts anew. That's what his song "Starting Over" was supposed to be about. I'm not exactly sure what he meant by that, but maybe I'll find out here shortly.
I am doing a lot of things right now that people do when they are about fifteen or twenty years younger than me. I got married for the first time almost a year ago. We are trying to have our first child. I'm going to college. All of these developments have occurred in the last year, so maybe I am starting over. I can't be twenty again, though, as much as I'd like to be.
I wish I would have had wisdom when I was twenty. I'd be so much further along on my path to success in life if I had. As it is, I've lived my life on the basis of trial and error. I've had a lot of good times because of that because I have gone out at tried news things a lot in my life and I have some very valuable experiences from that. I can see how toward the end of my life I might cherish those experiences more than anything, but right now in the middle I'd trade some of them for a more comfortable life.
Nothing seems to come easy for me except for these words. I'm still working hard and sacrificing some things in an attempt to make my family's life better. We're not bad off, I guess- lower middle class. But we have to work so hard just to stay there and it seems like it's impossible sometimes to move forward. Great failure can happen in a heartbeat while moderate success takes years to attain. One little slip and we might lose ground that took years to gain. It doesn't seem like it should be this hard. We work hard, pay the bills, and abide by the law. It seems like that should be enough, but we're barely making it. There's not much room for error now.
The romantic types might say that I'm rich where it really counts. I have all of those experiences that have given me wisdom. I have a partner who will love me for the rest of my life. I do not doubt that. I have my sanity and boy that didn't come cheap! Yes, all of those things are priceless. But here in America they don't pay the bills. They don't provide a comfortable retirement at a reasonable age. They don't provide health care.
So here I am at forty embarking on middle age and I guess I really am starting over. I've got a new wife and we want to have a child. I've got a new job and I'm back in school. I spent the first forty years recklessly. I'm probably lucky to be alive. It's time to get serious about a few things. I guess it's also time to lighten up about some others. Sorry if I got too heavy for you on your Saturday afternoon. Crack open a cold one and I'll do the same. Let's jam.
= new reply since forum marked as read
Your post reminded me of it.....The author was in her forties, and was just starting to write. That's what the title refers to; I thought it was pretty clever.
And you're not being too heavy! Love the song too...
Here's to many, many more years for you both! 
It's good to see you this evening. I hope all is well there. How have you been doing?
It's good to see you too! I'm fine, a little tired.
We just got home from a recital at our local Lutheran church. They have regular recitals every month or so, and the music is always lovely. We enjoy chamber music.
In a little while, I'm going out to pick up a prescription, and shop for dinner.
It's good to see you tonight.