The DU Lounge
Related: Culture Forums, Support ForumsI may be taking a break for a bit.
I'm in a bad way here, and I'm not sure what to do.
I'm caught in a "medical loop" of doctors and suffering badly with pain. I can't get any relief.
I've had some shit before, but this is indescribable, and no one is coming to save me. No one can make this better.
I'm not sure how a person can sustain with agony like this, but I guess I'm going to find out what I am made of.
Over the past few days, I've had IV Dilaudid and as assload of opiates, but nothing touches this pain.
I can't sit, can't walk and can't lay down.
I refuse to take any more pain pills...they make me sicker than a dog.
I fell asleep in my recliner last night for 5 minutes, and immediately had a horrid "death" nightmare. Immediately.
Trying not to be hyperbolic, but it's a hard road when you realize you can't be helped.
What is scaring me is the relentlessness of this pain. How the fuck can you be loaded up on narcotics and the pain gets WORSE? This is nightmare fuel.
You all be good, and I'll hopefully see you soon if I can get this pain to retract.
I'm wishing for a natural, permanent sleep at this point.
Never been so fucking scared in my life.
You all be good, and hopefully, I'll see you soon.

Scrivener7
(57,487 posts)I am wishing for relief for you.
yardwork
(68,354 posts)
we can do it
(12,956 posts)quaint
(4,261 posts)We all love you.
sheshe2
(94,439 posts)I hope you can find the relief that you need,
PittBlue
(4,654 posts)So sad that you are enduring so much pain. I hope you can find relief.
redwitch
(15,194 posts)Im so sorry, I hope that you can get some relief soon.
Diamond_Dog
(38,804 posts)Well all be sending light speed karma to you for pain relief. It sounds dreadful.
Marthe48
(22,108 posts)And sending prayers. In Ohio, there used to be clinics that treated intractible pain. Maybe you can get to a place like that.
You don't deserve this.
multigraincracker
(36,549 posts)Just a suggestion, It's free and has worked for others.
You can google it for pain. CBT, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for pain. It's free and has helped many with science backed results.
You may not get instant complete results, but might some help in easing your symptoms and ways to deal with it.
Peace and Love Brother.
mwmisses4289
(2,491 posts)debm55
(51,747 posts)
pdxflyboy
(893 posts)Im sending you vibes of healing and pain-free life. Hang in there.
brer cat
(27,175 posts)will find some relief soon.
UpInArms
(53,562 posts)My virtual arms are around you
🫂
Lonestarblue
(13,000 posts)I hope your doctors can find something soon to help you. Im sure youve already tried everything, but maybe medical marijuana would help. Let us know how youre doing when you feel able.
irisblue
(36,317 posts)niyad
(127,990 posts)Last edited Tue Oct 21, 2025, 10:43 AM - Edit history (1)
eppur_se_muova
(40,360 posts)If your docs haven't mentioned a nerve block, raise the subject and demand answers. I would think they would have discussed this with you already, but if they haven't, maybe you need to force the issue.
Harker
(17,005 posts)NNadir
(36,778 posts)You are valued and appreciated here.
angrychair
(11,302 posts)Truly hope you feel better soon.
dickthegrouch
(4,135 posts)I found it very helpful after just one visit. YMMV
Very sorry youre going through that.
JMCKUSICK
(4,263 posts)It's so hard living in not just pain, but debilitating, crippling pain that people can't see, much less help.
Please find a position that gives you some comfort.
Forgive me if I should already know, but is there a diagnosis? Is this muscular or skeletal?
Please know there are among us those who understand.
I hope you find relief LuckyCharms, as so many have stated before me, you are treasured here.
JoseBalow
(8,763 posts)
Grumpy Old Guy
(4,104 posts)Please try to keep us posted.
Fla Dem
(27,215 posts)I hope you have family/friends who are close to you and can care for you as you're going through all this.
Please, peace be with you LuckyCharms.
Ocelot II
(127,873 posts)and you have people with you who will help and support you.
KS Toronado
(21,610 posts)

Karadeniz
(24,665 posts)murielm99
(32,442 posts)but I am sorry.
ms liberty
(10,729 posts)
yankee87
(2,704 posts)I don't know what you are going through, but I'm dealing with the pain of neuropathy every day. There is no cure, and I use marijuana to get me to sleep. I think about ending it all daily. Only reason I don't is my family and pets.
I hope that you find a cure or some help soon.
CaptainTruth
(7,928 posts)I hope you can find some relief, you're in our thoughts.
Niagara
(10,944 posts)I'm sorry that you're in a bad way and suffering needlessly from pain that never stops.
You take care of yourself and take all the time that you need for a break.
Please know that you have an entire DU community that wishes only good and manageable things for you.
You're a treasure here. You've always been reasonable, kind and helpful. I'm not sure if anyone has told you that before but I am saying it now.
I hope that you feel better sooner than later.
TygrBright
(21,231 posts)ZZenith
(4,433 posts)I hope the pain is brief.
samnsara
(18,658 posts)..a cpl years ago i hurt my back lifting up my old sick 100 pound dog. Couldnt go to dr cuz no one to drive me..i couldnt walk and i couldnt leave my old sick dog alone. I did tequila shots...a LOT of them. An hour apart so I wouldnt get too looney to help my old sick heavy dog. By the time my stomach started complaining, the back pain eased. I even looked into self hypnosis. And at night i smoked a lot of pot.
Narcotics make me throw up so I was doing anything to keep away from them....
Please just dont give up! ( we need you!)
LittleGirl
(8,852 posts)I can't take opioids either. If I do, I get nauseous and the pain is still there. I will throw up a pill.
When I had a couple of surgeries since 2020, I was given a spinal block for the surgery which was great. No hang over from the drugs. But the recovery time was awful with pain.
I'm so sorry. I had to end up taking Tylenol for the pain and it took me a couple of years to recover from my torn tendon surgery on my right shoulder. Ouch.
I'm one of those that gets really angry when I'm in pain. I got that way during my covid infection.
I'll be thinking of you. Cyber hugs.
Trueblue Texan
(3,897 posts)...opiates, nor any other pain med could ever touch. The only thing that helped was a very strong does of CBD oil or sitting in a pool of water. The pain was still there, but not as bad. The doctors need to address your pain though. They cannot just ignore it, that's malpractice.
LudwigPastorius
(13,639 posts)Im on it for chronic trigeminal nerve pain, and it has helped (in conjunction with some other drugs).
Some days I think it doesnt so much stop the pain as keeps me from offing myself because of it. But, Ill take what I can get at this point.
Wishing you relief, brother. If you cant take it day by day, try to take it hour by hour.
sinkingfeeling
(56,618 posts)karin_sj
(1,267 posts)I hope with all my heart that you can find some relief from this relentless pain very very soon. I hope you feel the love from your DU family.
BComplex
(9,641 posts)So sorry to hear this!! There is so much doctors have yet to learn about the human body, and most especially, pain management. I hope something happens that helps you get to a more comfortable state really soon.
We love you!
CaliforniaPeggy
(155,421 posts)You're in my thoughts. May you soon have relief.
democrank
(11,858 posts)Hope you can get some answers .and some rest.
FrankTC
(254 posts)I'm not going to suggest any solutions, as probably anything I can think of you've already thought of, and probably you've tried everything possible to get relief. Pain is one of the most productive of adversities in that way. I hope you are able to endure long enough to get effective help, and that it arrives soon.
Mz.LadyRe22
(1 post)Hello. Thank you for your words. Because of your recent post I have finally had the courage to come on this wonderful site for the first time and post my own comment
I have been here for years
.daily even (multiple daily visits) but just never spoke.
But this morning I read your words and I felt such deep compassion and care for you
understanding your struggle right now
..reading your words moved Me so much. Your pain, your struggles.
You see, I have been in bed since Friday night, with a broken ankle
immobile to do the most simple of actions
..and I, too, have been in one big scared miserable state. Im a 67 year woman, retired, never had to rely on anyone
until now
and I just can not get out of bed (no matter how much I try to push through the pain) to do my most simplistic routine. Im not in as pain as you describe, I am so so sorry yo are suffering , but I too Am frightened, of the Now what doom
...hahahaha is this the way I go out? I laugh to myself. I feel your words.
So as I read your comments, I feel encouraged to push through
.Thank you for such honest raw feelings shared
my friend
..yes being vulnerable and in pain sucks
but please Know this ~you HELPED ME today
.if you can share the difficulties you are now facing with medical conditions
than I can too
..
Stay strong (I will too)
.and thank you for letting me be apart of your painful journey. I promise to be more active here, in this community. I need a community, this incredible group of personalities
..fantastic readings throughout the years of my lurking . Glad to be here now.
You and your words helped Me so very much
..so to you I also say Stay strong, because this community Needs you! Thank you
You are in my prayers today, most certainly!
KS Toronado
(21,610 posts)
vanlassie
(6,163 posts)(((HUGS)))
electric_blue68
(24,452 posts)I've had two major accidents. The above, and ripped rotator cuff muscles 20 yrs before the ankle.
When you are well enough to start rehab exercises my lived advice is do them like 96% - 97% of the time. So there's a little leeway when you absolutely don't want to do them. Otherwise do them steadily, completly, and you'll probably have good to excellent results.
I was 59 when this ankle thing happened. You'd never know I'd injured myself!
Good Luck!!!
calimary
(88,178 posts)Hello back atcha! Were very happy that youve joined us, and that you finally took the big leap and spoke up!
This community is a Godsend for so many of us! Youll come here and maybe youll just read the posts and comments, but youll also gain tremendously, in so many ways! And youre liable to build plenty of new friends and allies, even though you may never actually meet any of them face-to-face. And as our beloved Skittles once said, someones always here.
People come aboard from every imaginable location and vocation, and bring SOOOOOOOOO much wisdom and perspective with them, which is tremendously valuable, and helpful, in too many ways to count. I swear - I learn something new every day!
Welcome! Glad youre here!
Grim Chieftain
(754 posts)Please know you are in my thoughts and yes, even prayers. Take care.
peggysue2
(12,226 posts)Nothing worse than unrelenting pain. This sounds horrid. Can you request a palliative care specialist to address the acute pain? Anything to relieve the suffering. I hope you have someone there to advocate for you. Please know we're all thinking about you and sending our best vibes, prayers.
Vinca
(52,870 posts)for them. Wish I had the answer for you, and I really hope things improve. Take care.
pandr32
(13,544 posts)Pain is hard to ignore, so I have no idea how you will cope without the drugs, or what is your situation.
I hope you will be able to get better sleep without the nightmares. You must be exhausted.
Hugs.
SuzyandPuffpuff
(324 posts)Have lived with unrelenting pain all my life. Migraines. I understand your agony. All Yu can do is focus on pain. It consumes you. Sometimes I want to die and other times scared that I will. It's a terrible cycle. Breathe in. Hold. Breathe out. Sometimes that's all I can do. Good luck my dear friend.
electric_blue68
(24,452 posts)a single migraine triggered later on by a particular type of medical examination.
Only one, and I still remember it 56 yrs later, if something prompts the memory.
I hope you will get some relief from some new treatment sooner than later!
peacebuzzard
(5,694 posts)I will keep thinking of you and hoping for better news
.
I cant imagine this high level of pain as you describe; with no sleep
.Please take care of yourself; you are a gem indeed.
FakeNoose
(39,082 posts)Here's hoping your doctor will have a remedy for you. This pain sounds unbearable, for now.
Maybe a good night's sleep will help too. Hope you're feeling better soon.
Oeditpus Rex
(43,040 posts)I mean, I have pain in my legs and low back/pelvic area anout half the time, but not anything like you describe. I imagine you've had MRIs and all that, and they've found nothing that could be a cause?
I dunno, man... cannabis helped my partner when she had endometriosis, but she had to smoke several times a day to get relief. Frequent acupuncture could help if it's neuropathic pain. That's all I've got, except for Eastern remedies, and I know almost nothing about those.
There's got to be something, man. Pain has a cause, and a cause has a fix. The problem is finding one, and then the other.
Be as well as possible.
SheltieLover
(74,579 posts)
BoomaofBandM
(1,930 posts)I live in my recliner, comfee lounge wear with a rectangular heating pad always at hand. I get lost in my world of books and sleep whenever and however I can. I hope they find something to help you.
SleeplessinSoCal
(10,309 posts)Hypnosis? Something from the alternative medicine community maybe?
I hope you get help soon.
SunSeeker
(57,000 posts)
OAITW r.2.0
(30,785 posts)I can't imagine that level of pain. My trip to the ER yesterday was for another embedded tick. A big nothing compared to what you are dealing with. Get healthy, my friend.
Grumpy Old Woman
(39 posts)These days 'thoughts and prayers' are overworked, but know that I have enjoyed your posts and hope that you will again be able to make them. Take care of yourself.
highplainsdem
(58,728 posts)with pain.
Google it:
vitamin c pain relief
I have no idea if you're taking any vitamin C now. In my experience, which includes years of caregiving, doctors will rarely if ever mention supplements and will say fairly little about diet. My mom had a good GP and cardiologist who okayed the supplements she took and made sure she got them even when hospitalized, and gave me their cell phone numbers in case I ran into a doctor at a hospital who wouldn't listen.
Some people can't tolerate vitamin C, and there might be other reasons you in particular shouldn't take it. Check with your doctor.
But in general it's a safe and effective way to get some pain relief for many conditions.
True Dough
(24,806 posts)but you're making it awfully hard!
Peace, love and pain relief is all I want for you, brother. Hoping for a positive update sometime soon.
rhiannon55
(2,755 posts)I cant imagine not being able to walk, sit, or lie down. There arent many positions left. Do you have someone to help you? If not, please call a close friend or family member, or a hospital social worker for help. I imagine you have already worked that out, but I have been dealing with pain myself, so help is at the top of my mind right now.
I broke my left elbow a week ago today and had surgery yesterday morning. I am 74, and I missed a step down and fell hard on a concrete floor. I had been facing forward, but somehow I fell on my back and left arm; it felt like all my body weight landed on my elbow. I broke my ulna an inch or so below the olecranon (this accident is growing my vocabulary!) The surgeon had to reconnect the bone with a screw. I woke up with a pain blocker in my arm and hand. It was so weird; I couldnt feel or move my arm or hand at all. Who knew our arms were so heavy? Well, theres also the cast. 🙄
Luckily, I have a sling to hold my arm up, so Ive only experienced this the couple of times my arm was out of the sling and just hanging there until I lifted it up with my right hand. I felt no pain, though.
Until this morning. Oh man, my arm hurts, and youre right. Opiates dont help much. Heres whats helping me right now: cannabis. I stopped smoking a while back because I needed to see if my short-term memory got better (my mom had dementia). I got out my pipe and filled it and a couple of hits later, it has taken the edge off the pain. I still feel it, but Im no longer focused on it. I can think better right now.
I apologize if Im telling you things you already know. And Im not comparing my arm pain to what sounds like full body pain. I am just getting a taste of what youre going through. I just feel so much empathy for you and Im hoping my response helps even a little bit. Im sending a one-armed cyber hug! Please stay in touch.
💗💗💗💗💗
electric_blue68
(24,452 posts)May you have a full recovery in time, as well!
I just give this advice elsewhere.
I've had two major accidents. Ripped rotator cuff muscles (arm just hanging down, can't lift it - weird!). Had the sling.
Then at 59 a tri-fractured ankle (yeah, I got metal). When you're ready for rehab exercises; you can slack off a wee bit, like 3% - 4% for when absolutely don't want to do them. Otherwise do them 96% - 97% steadily, completely, and your recovery should be good to excellent!. You'd never know I had an accident.
Keep us posted. Good luck! {hug}
Clouds Passing
(6,224 posts)
Ive been where you are. Dark night of the Soul. The pain is relentless and indescribable.
malaise
(290,349 posts)Heal well
70sEraVet
(5,017 posts)No one should have to live in agony.
MiHale
(12,264 posts)
1WorldHope
(1,725 posts)It is so helpful to have someone advocate for you. If you don't have anyone, then a phone call can be made from any where in the US with you on the line. If you have nobody to help, then ask one of us to be your advocate on the phone. Don't suffer alone. I am here if you need me Lucky ❤️.
denbot
(9,940 posts)We all are wishing good vibes for you.
markie
(23,702 posts)❤️. Hope to hear from you asap
2naSalit
(98,285 posts)Dear LuckyCharms, I feel for you. I have bad back pain but not like you describe. Mine gives me horrible headaches and disrupts my digestive system for days but it nothing like you describe. I sure hope you can find something. I don't recall the nature of your issue but it sounds awful. My thing is just my spine disintegrating, eventually I'll be paralyzed if I don't die first...
I rely on natural remedies most of the time but I need pharma help once in a while, I hope you find something, anything - almost - to relieve your pain.
Evolve Dammit
(21,287 posts)
yellow dahlia
(3,606 posts)
skylucy
(3,991 posts)on DU, so I hope you are back soon.
synni
(594 posts)I can't imagine the indescribable horror you must be going through.
"Wishing you the best" sounds so weak in the face of this, but it's all I can do.
stage left
(3,145 posts)I was scrolling here and I saw your post. I am so terribly sorry you're suffering. Hoping that your pain will relent and you will be able to sleep.
pat_k
(12,093 posts)... specialists in rheumatology?? I can attest personally to how unbearable the pain of inflammatory disease can be.
As I posted to your thread earlier this month:
----------
Although gradual onset of Rheumatoid Arthritis is common, there are cases of "explosive" onset in "non-traditional" larger joints that can come on fast and resolve fast. There are also other inflammatory diseases that need to be investigated when a person is struck down with pain.
AI summary of various Rheumatoid presentations and mimics.
Rheumatoid arthritis (RA)
Although RA usually develops slowly over several weeks to months, an explosive polyarticular onset, with pain and swelling in multiple joints over 24 to 48 hours, is possible.
Acute-onset RA: Some cases, especially in older adults, can appear suddenly and intensely, often affecting larger, more proximal joints like the knees and shoulders.
Widespread symptoms: Along with joint pain and swelling, sudden-onset RA can also cause flu-like symptoms such as fatigue, fever, and a general feeling of being unwell.
Palindromic rheumatism (PR)
This rare form of inflammatory arthritis is characterized by sudden, recurrent attacks of painful swelling in one or more joints.
Rapid onset and resolution: Attacks begin and end quickly, lasting anywhere from a few hours to several days.
Between attacks: Joints appear and feel normal, with no lasting damage.
Progression to RA: While PR is distinct from RA, it's considered an autoimmune-related disease, and up to 50% of people with PR may later develop RA.
Reactive arthritis
This is an autoimmune response that can cause sudden-onset inflammatory arthritis after a bacterial infection.
Triggering infections: Common triggers include gastrointestinal infections (like food poisoning), sexually transmitted infections (STIs), and urinary tract infections (UTIs).
Typical joints: Pain and stiffness most often affect the knees, ankles, feet, and heels.
Additional symptoms: Eye inflammation (conjunctivitis) and urinary problems are also common.
Seronegative spondyloarthropathies
This group of conditions can be difficult to differentiate from RA, particularly if they appear suddenly.
Psoriatic arthritis (PsA): This can cause joint pain and stiffness that mimics RA. Distinctive symptoms that might differentiate PsA include sausage-like swelling of fingers or toes (dactylitis), nail changes, and lower back pain.
Ankylosing spondylitis (AS): Though primarily affecting the spine, AS can also cause pain and stiffness in the pelvis.
Other mimics
Several other conditions can present with sudden, widespread joint pain that may be mistaken for RA:
Viral arthritis: Viruses like parvovirus B19 or Chikungunya can cause acute, multi-joint pain. Symptoms usually resolve once the infection clears.
Lyme disease: This tick-borne illness can cause widespread joint pain and other symptoms similar to RA. Unlike RA, the pain can shift from joint to joint, and it is usually responsive to antibiotics.
Whipple's disease: This rare bacterial infection can cause arthritis that mimics RA, especially in seronegative patients. [/excerpt
The above is not comprehensive, but if your physician is not having these possibilities investigated, you may need to demand that they do.
Other things to investigate that don't fall into the inflammatory disease category: spinal stenosis, degenerative disk disease, or a more acute issue like spinal cord compression or transverse myelitis.
ancianita
(42,338 posts)

Coventina
(28,826 posts)I have no real advice or words of wisdom.
I can only say: You are not alone.
Also: You will always have a home here at DU.
Please don't pull away because you feel like a drain. Only take time away because you believe it will help you.
Sogo
(6,716 posts)

womanofthehills
(10,505 posts)I was in bad pain for 3 months. Friend brought me some Advil 800 s - they made a huge difference
My friend with MS uses a combo of cannabis & Valium for nerve pain plus LDN (low dose naltrexone). Lots of those with chronic pain trying LDN. Lots of LDN forums on web at Facebook , Reddit etc. An average dose of naltrexone is 50 mg but compounding pharmacies make 1.5 to 4.5 - tiny doses. This tiny dose can increase endorphins & cut inflammation.
On Amazon, you can buy ice pack clothing for your back.
HeartsCanHope
(1,364 posts)You are in my thoughts, and I hope that something can be done to help you get some relief.
summer_in_TX
(3,877 posts)I have added you to my daily prayers for relief from this pain and for healing. ❤️🩹🙏
BigmanPigman
(54,146 posts)Anything to relieve it for a nano second is what I crave. You can NOT do ANYTHING!!!!
No one knows how horrible it is since there are NO WORDS. It is shear torture. Forget about doing anything or focusing on anything since you CAN NOT!!!!!
You can not function at all!!!
Forget about thinking, eating, sleeping, even breathing. It is impossible to do anything but wish it would stop and how you can somehow make it stop.
I know!!!!! You want to make it stop so much you consider suicide. That is normal!!! That is how awful it is.
I have more than empathy, I wish I could make it end. I'm almost in tears since I know your situation too well.
mnhtnbb
(32,934 posts)Link to article from Stanford
https://med.stanford.edu/news/insights/2023/04/how-hypnosis-can-alter-the-brains-perception-of-pain.html
I am really sorry you are not getting any relief with pain meds. It must be scary as hell. Hope that you will find some relief with something, soon.
electric_blue68
(24,452 posts)Or some other solution not thought of yet. Truly sounds terrifying!
Hang in there, you are appreciated, and loved.
)))Healing vibes((( for pain relief sent your way.
And for *Deep* sleep, FREE From Nightmares!!!
applegrove
(128,882 posts)ReRe
(12,111 posts)
Hope something can be done to stop your pain soon.

chia
(2,689 posts)I hope the doctors are able to give you the relief you need. ❤️
gademocrat7
(11,696 posts)Sending you healing hugs and love.