Forget those stupid Customer Service buttons at Home Depot. For immediate attention
crank up a chainsaw! 
= new reply since forum marked as read
I'm going to age myself, but among my first jobs was working the catalog department at Sears in a new store/new mall that faced out to a very wooded area beyond the parking lot and was closest (within the store) to the garden/hardware department. Well, among the bizarre occurrences on day 2, was a deer buck that did not see the glass and ran directly through and literally over the counter--just missing me and one other--and then just as quickly jumped back up and outside the now broken glass.
So, day 4 of the same week (with glass taped/boarded over), a big, burly guy goes to the hardware/garden department, grabs a chainsaw on display, and proceeds to run out that same glass door, but not before menacing those of us still vigilantly staffing the catalog counter. Shortly thereafter, the store security and supervisors (whom WE had called) chastised us for not stopping the guy with the chainsaw. Yeah, right... Just like we were going to stop the deer buck.
So, yeah... crank up a chainsaw (or follow the deer buck into and out of the store). 
...a guy I used to hang around with took his dad's car to Sears where he worked. (In hardware, IIRC) He was in late HS at the time.
He was there for his 4 hours and when he went to the parking lot, there was no car.
You worked at Sears & had wild animals & psycho chain saw guy; he got his car stolen.
Really makes me wish I worked at Sears. 
unremarkable! I don't recall having to duck for antlered wildlife even once---much less a chainsaw-wielding idiot.