Introducing Elder Cushion: The Bubble Wrap for Seniors

[erronis]

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/introducing-elder-cushion-the-bubble-wrap-for-seniors
Wendi Aarons

It happens to us all. One day, your mom is telling you to be careful when climbing a tree, and the next day, she's a seventy-five-year-old standing on top of a wobbly fifteen-foot ladder, dusting a chandelier with an old TV Guide. "It's fine," she yells, "I've been doing this for over sixty years."

From there, it's just a short, spiteful ride to the orthopedist with repeated mutterings of "I told you a million times to stay on the ground, didn't I? DIDN'T I?" while googling "best medical alert bracelets" and wondering when the hell you became the cautious, sensible one in this family dynamic.
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But now there's a better way to deal with senior citizens that won't wait just a goddamn hour until you're there to help them get something from the top of the closet.

Introducing Elder Cushion, the bubble wrap designed to keep the stubborn, obstinate loved ones in your life safe from injuries caused by climbing things they never should have been climbing in the first place.

. . .

[eppur_se_muova]

1. The real bonus is at the end -- "Fox Blox". nt

[mwmisses4289]

2. !!