Due to the kind of morbid curiosity that inspires one to kick an anthill,

[Aristus]

I watched a video in which some self-described “alpha male” demonstrated the ‘alpha’ way to open a bottle or sit down on a bench.

The techniques he explained were ludicrous on their own. But when he insisted that they were intended to make the bottle and the bench “serve you!”, I nearly collapsed in hysterics.

My contempt for these pathetic bozos knows no bounds…

[jls4561]

1. Since you are a medical professional, I have a question: Is there a test we can use to screen for this

affliction so we can identify those unfit for government service?

Kinda like the 4-F classification for the draft.

[Aristus]

4. There will at least be some clues, most of the time.

If a patient, male or female, tells me they have "a high pain-tolerance", I have to restrain myself from rolling my eyes. I had a new-patient visit the other day, and she kept insisting that her expectations of our patient-provider relationship was that she wanted to "optimize" her health. She said it over and over. I was afraid to ask her what that meant, convinced I was going to hear a lot of crap about vaccine-skepticism, apple cider vinegar, massive vitamin doses, magnets, and all sorts of misinformed medical idiocies. I told her my approach to clinical medicine, wondering if she would consider this "optimizing" her health. Whether she shows up again in my exam room remains to be seen.

[jls4561]

6. I applaud your diagnostic skills.

[KT2000]

2. We live in a time

that is celebrating the stupid. They are emboldened.

[Trueblue Texan]

3. How insecure, not to mention STOOOPID do you have to be...

...to be concerned that inanimate objects serve you in any way other than that for which they were designed? i.e. bottles contain liquid, benches provide seating. What a freakin' moran.

[Aristus]

5. Part of his meat-headed approach is telling the viewer that people observing you opening a bottle, sitting down on a

bench, or whatever, will judge you harshly if you do it the 'beta' way; he didn't bother to explain what the 'beta' way was. Or why he thought anyone would care how you did these things, much less judge you for it.

[struggle4progress]

7. There's obviously a market for additional instructional videos here, like

How to catch a rattlesnake between your teeth like a real man

but I guess you won't be contributing to the genre

[love_katz]

8. Sounds like the perfect way to identify a guy with a needle dick.