The Luckiest Man in the World
A man woke up one morning with a horrendous hangover. When he finally pried his eyes open, there was a glass of water and two aspirin tablets on the nightstand. He took the aspirin and washed them down with the water. Stumbling into the bathroom, looks in the mirror and realizes he has a black eye. He also sees a note from his wife on a fresh towel. “I put out a fresh towel for your shower, and breakfast is keeping warm in the oven. I’ll be back later, I’m picking up a nice steak for your dinner.”
This really confused him, normally his wife is angry for days after he goes out drinking with his friends. He showers and goes back into the bathroom to dress. He finds his favorite worn out sweat suit, the one his wife hates, laid out for him. He dresses and heads downstairs.
On the way down, he notices a wet spot in the carpet, and a broken little chair that was his wife’s favorite little decoration. He walks into the kitchen and sure enough, his favorite breakfast is waiting. His son is sitting at the table eating. His boy looks at him, smiles, and says “You don’t remember what happened last night, do you?”
The man confesses that he doesn’t. His son fills him in. “You were so drunk you couldn’t stand up. Mom was helping you to the stairs when you fell and broke her chair. That’s when you got the black eye. Then, halfway up the stairs, you threw up on her and the carpet. She finally got you to bed, and then tried to undress you. That's when you yelled out ‘Leave me alone lady! I’m married!’”
At that moment, he became the luckiest man in the world. 