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CTyankee

(68,173 posts)
Fri Mar 27, 2026, 04:14 PM 10 hrs ago

I have been diagnosed with dementia and am taking Memantine (sp?)

I am trying to cope. It's difficult right now since my husband is recovering from a fractured foot and is laid up with a big cast at our retirement community"s rehab center.

We are in the best place for these calamities. We sold our house and moved to Masonicare in Wallingford, CT 4 months ago. We took advantage of a real estate situation that hugely increased our house's value. I was starting to have symptoms of dementia and my husband has had spinal stenosis and uses a walker to get around. That's when we figured we'd be better off in a place that helped us with our two disabilities.

I couldn't be happier with this decision. I was very pleasantly surprised that the food was so excellent. Bravo to the chef. Cooking had become a huge chore as I have lower back arthritis. Masonicare has a wonderful workout/exercise area and special programs for people who need physical therapy (just about everybody here!). They have a shuttle for people who need therapy/treatment at a local facility of Yale New Haven Hospital.

My daughter is in charge of paying our bills and has Power of Attorney for me which luckily gotten just a few months earlier. It saves us time, effort and worry. I would recommend it to anyone in a situation such as ours.

41 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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I have been diagnosed with dementia and am taking Memantine (sp?) (Original Post) CTyankee 10 hrs ago OP
It sounds like a great place. And I'm glad you have medication for the dementia. That's a tough diagnosis. Scrivener7 10 hrs ago #1
Good luck snowybirdie 10 hrs ago #2
I would urge every senior to get some plan together for the possibility of this happening. CTyankee 10 hrs ago #3
Is this med for fronto temporal slightlv 9 hrs ago #13
Mine takes snowybirdie 8 hrs ago #17
Not sure. What's the difference? CTyankee 8 hrs ago #22
You can do a quick search on it. The spelling in the OP is correct. soldierant 2 hrs ago #40
I'm sorry to hear about the diagnosis. area51 10 hrs ago #4
Take care, CTyankee gademocrat7 9 hrs ago #5
I am sorry to hear about this, and I am glad that you have found a place to aid you with it all. (n/t) OldBaldy1701E 9 hrs ago #6
It sounds as if you and your husband made really good decisions. I hate to hear your LoisB 9 hrs ago #7
All the best to you. The place sounds good for you both esp with the help of your daughter. TC appalachiablue 9 hrs ago #8
Comforting to know you have things in place BaronChocula 9 hrs ago #9
Stay active CT! PuraVidaDreamin 9 hrs ago #10
That is a tough diagnosis, but you had fortunately planned brer cat 9 hrs ago #11
I will keep you in my thoughts CYT edhopper 9 hrs ago #12
I was diagnoised with FTD (a dementia) over 10 years ago Omaha Steve 8 hrs ago #14
Best wishes. Sounds like you made a wise decision. AZ8theist 8 hrs ago #15
""" AllaN01Bear 8 hrs ago #16
I am happy to hear you are in a safe place. Best of luck to you both. Joinfortmill 8 hrs ago #18
wow--sounds like a whirlwind the past four months (probably longer than that -- moving is a big deal) orleans 8 hrs ago #19
One of the first things we did! Hubby was insistent on that! CTyankee 8 hrs ago #24
LOL! PERFECT!! (and good for him!) orleans 8 hrs ago #27
Good luck to you. Dyedinthewoolliberal 8 hrs ago #20
I hope so, too! CTyankee 8 hrs ago #26
All the best CT mountain grammy 8 hrs ago #21
Hugs to you both, CTyankee, debm55 8 hrs ago #23
.... Clouds Passing 8 hrs ago #25
I sure didn't want to read this post, but I wish you all the very best. hamsterjill 8 hrs ago #28
One thing I want to do is let folks hear know about my new book: The Gladdened Heart: the ART of Music CTyankee 1 hr ago #41
Sorry to hear that, CTyankee wendyb-NC 8 hrs ago #29
Glad you are being well taken care of. So sorry for the diagnosis. applegrove 8 hrs ago #30
Best of luck Faux pas 8 hrs ago #31
I'm sorry to hear that. Solly Mack 8 hrs ago #32
You've described your circumstances some_of_us_are_sane 7 hrs ago #33
Caring for a wife with dementia myself. Aussie105 6 hrs ago #34
I am so glad you were able to make those decisions - TBF 6 hrs ago #35
Your planning was such a wise decision, and it sounds as if you have... 3catwoman3 5 hrs ago #36
I am so happy to hear that you feel that way and that you found a really good place. 1WorldHope 4 hrs ago #37
Oh dear! At least you're both in a good place electric_blue68 3 hrs ago #38
Your wisdom and practicality in dealing with these challenges is an example to me summer_in_TX 3 hrs ago #39

Scrivener7

(59,476 posts)
1. It sounds like a great place. And I'm glad you have medication for the dementia. That's a tough diagnosis.
Fri Mar 27, 2026, 04:17 PM
10 hrs ago

snowybirdie

(6,680 posts)
2. Good luck
Fri Mar 27, 2026, 04:18 PM
10 hrs ago

Hubby takes this same medication and it's helped somewhat. Sounds like you have planned well.

CTyankee

(68,173 posts)
3. I would urge every senior to get some plan together for the possibility of this happening.
Fri Mar 27, 2026, 04:28 PM
10 hrs ago

But not everyone has the financial advantage we did, in the first place. However, in CT there are good resources for low income people who need the services we get here. I am so GLAD we live in a progressive state that actually takes care of people without financial resources (which we are fortunate to have ourselves).

slightlv

(7,786 posts)
13. Is this med for fronto temporal
Fri Mar 27, 2026, 06:06 PM
9 hrs ago

Dementia. Or for Alzheimers? It seems like there are so many kinds of dementia... and im headed into that with my husband. Wanted to get an MRI brain scan, but MA wants 450$ copay. It's hard coming up with that kind of money right now.

soldierant

(9,352 posts)
40. You can do a quick search on it. The spelling in the OP is correct.
Sat Mar 28, 2026, 12:42 AM
2 hrs ago

And, yes, it is for Alzheimer's. It appears to address agitation. I didn't spend a lot of time on it, but I did notice a string of counter-indications.

OldBaldy1701E

(11,106 posts)
6. I am sorry to hear about this, and I am glad that you have found a place to aid you with it all. (n/t)
Fri Mar 27, 2026, 05:16 PM
9 hrs ago

LoisB

(13,002 posts)
7. It sounds as if you and your husband made really good decisions. I hate to hear your
Fri Mar 27, 2026, 05:18 PM
9 hrs ago

diagnosis and hope you are ok for a good long time. Positive thoughts for you and your husband.

appalachiablue

(44,006 posts)
8. All the best to you. The place sounds good for you both esp with the help of your daughter. TC
Fri Mar 27, 2026, 05:41 PM
9 hrs ago

BaronChocula

(4,536 posts)
9. Comforting to know you have things in place
Fri Mar 27, 2026, 05:50 PM
9 hrs ago

My parents were very orderly with their "golden year" arrangements. My father used to say "your inheritance is not having to wipe our asses when we're incapacitated."

I know I have some slight memory/recall issues and I'm not sure what form they'll take as they progress. One day at a time.

PuraVidaDreamin

(4,608 posts)
10. Stay active CT!
Fri Mar 27, 2026, 05:51 PM
9 hrs ago

I picked up a part--time nsg gig at an Adult Day Health Center in very rural VT.
It is such a life-line for so many unfortunate souls who everyday humble me with
their resilience.

Yes, be grateful. As a nurse and certified yoga therapist I will attest to how
important it is that you stay active, chair yoga (the slower you move with intention the better)
Lift some light weights, but do it slowly, again, with intention,the contraction phase
but especially the eccentric phase.
Do puzzles, or your art, walk, smell the freaking EVERYTHING! Identify it, Notice how it
make you feel in that present moment and then giggle, sigh, frown even
and then keep moving through each present moment!

brer cat

(27,573 posts)
11. That is a tough diagnosis, but you had fortunately planned
Fri Mar 27, 2026, 05:59 PM
9 hrs ago

well and are settled in your new home with the help you need. Best wishes for your treatment and your husband's recovery.

Omaha Steve

(109,162 posts)
14. I was diagnoised with FTD (a dementia) over 10 years ago
Fri Mar 27, 2026, 06:14 PM
8 hrs ago

I'm still doing pretty good. I'm on trazodone for mine.

AZ8theist

(7,347 posts)
15. Best wishes. Sounds like you made a wise decision.
Fri Mar 27, 2026, 06:18 PM
8 hrs ago

But as I approach 70, this sort of thing is in mine and my wife's future.

I still live by the Who:

"Hope I die before I get old "

orleans

(36,906 posts)
19. wow--sounds like a whirlwind the past four months (probably longer than that -- moving is a big deal)
Fri Mar 27, 2026, 06:28 PM
8 hrs ago

(and exhausting) and then with all the other life issues.

i'm sorry to hear about your diagnosis. also your husband's fracture. a lot to deal with.

i'm glad you are happy with your new surroundings, and adjusting/adapting to them.

and, just as a friendly reminder, don't forget to change your address with the election board or the county so you can vote this fall.
if you haven't done it yet, put it on a to-do list. if you've already done it then WOW! that's great!

keep taking good care

mountain grammy

(29,017 posts)
21. All the best CT
Fri Mar 27, 2026, 06:31 PM
8 hrs ago

It's often I wish I had never left CT... my mom and sister stayed till they died, and oh how I miss them and visiting CT.

Sounds like you've made good decisions considering.. hoping for a full recovery for your husband and your coping skills last as long as you need them..

hamsterjill

(17,565 posts)
28. I sure didn't want to read this post, but I wish you all the very best.
Fri Mar 27, 2026, 06:51 PM
8 hrs ago

Sounds like you are being very practical, which I admire greatly. You are SO correct in that everyone (even younger people) need to have some sort of plan in place because tomorrow is promised to no one.

That said - I wish you both happiness and contentment in your lives. May the time be filled with things that bring you joy, enrichment and love! Something we should all strive for.

Peace and comfort to you and hubby.

CTyankee

(68,173 posts)
41. One thing I want to do is let folks hear know about my new book: The Gladdened Heart: the ART of Music
Sat Mar 28, 2026, 01:54 AM
1 hr ago

which I am giving away to folks who would like to read it and is being privately published.

The book discusses how artists have painted (and sculpted) what cannot be seen: MUSIC

The longest essay deals with Degas' ballet dancers series. The girls (and some boys) dancing were often quite young and poor and were exploited sexually by rich men who paid to have access to them. They are there in Degas' series, seen watching the girls dance, in the wings of the stage. Most of these paintings can be seen at the Musee d'Orsay in Paris but there are some in the Metropolitan Museum in NY.

PM me if you'd like a copy of my book.

wendyb-NC

(4,685 posts)
29. Sorry to hear that, CTyankee
Fri Mar 27, 2026, 06:56 PM
8 hrs ago

It sounds like you have prepared well. Best wishes, always. Sending hope and hugs.

some_of_us_are_sane

(3,158 posts)
33. You've described your circumstances
Fri Mar 27, 2026, 07:45 PM
7 hrs ago

so rationally and upbeat and I admire you tremendously, CTyankee! All good thoughts from here and thank you from many of us who either are, or who may be or at some time hence, in the same situation. You are MUCH loved in DU!

Aussie105

(7,905 posts)
34. Caring for a wife with dementia myself.
Fri Mar 27, 2026, 08:47 PM
6 hrs ago

An exhausting job. But I'm coping.

She doesn't want to go see a doctor for an official diagnosis, because she fears she will get 'locked up' and be forced to leave her home of over 60 years.

One of the problems of modern medicine - people live longer, but the mental decay that comes to us all at old age is still an unresolved problem.

Sympathies to all who are in the same situation, carers or sufferers.

TBF

(36,620 posts)
35. I am so glad you were able to make those decisions -
Fri Mar 27, 2026, 08:53 PM
6 hrs ago

you and your husband are together (at least in the same community - hopefully he heals up fast!) and I know your daughter will do her best to keep on top of everything. Thank you for checking in w/us and letting us know you are ok!

3catwoman3

(29,366 posts)
36. Your planning was such a wise decision, and it sounds as if you have...
Fri Mar 27, 2026, 09:51 PM
5 hrs ago

...the strength and courage to deal honestly with unwelcome changes. And how reassuring to hear that you have found a place where you feel safe and content.

electric_blue68

(26,850 posts)
38. Oh dear! At least you're both in a good place
Fri Mar 27, 2026, 11:28 PM
3 hrs ago

And hopefully some good medical advances that will help sooner than later.

summer_in_TX

(4,164 posts)
39. Your wisdom and practicality in dealing with these challenges is an example to me
Fri Mar 27, 2026, 11:31 PM
3 hrs ago

and others. I'm so glad to hear you are in such a good place – and that the food is good is a huge plus. Having your daughter take that load off is great.

Best wishes for the medication to slow the advancement of the condition to a standstill. And blessings for you and your husband.

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