I'm out of toilet paper.

[zanana1]

Any suggestions?

[OLDMDDEM]

1. Pictures of Trump?

[buzzycrumbhunger]

2. Necessity is the mother of invention

Kleenex… paper towels… old newspapers… garden hose?

[no_hypocrisy]

3. Clean yourself with a warm, soapy washcloth. Rinse.

[buzzycrumbhunger]

8. I got confused...

For some reason, I follow a FB group where people ask silly questions and you can only give terrible advice. My brain was on the wrong forum for a minute.

[wyn borkins]

4. Two Possible Suggestions

(1) Connect a garden hose from your sink or from a nearby shower to serve as a water rinse device. Rinse as necessary and then allow the (rinsed) area to drip-dry.

OR

(2) Fill a half-gallon container with a decent pour spout and then use it as a water rinse service. Rinse as necessary and then allow the (rinsed) area to drip-dry.

Of No Note Whatsoever:

(A) Here in the Philippines, TP is not always available, butt water is usually (cold).

(B) Seriously try to allow the rinsing water to trickle into the toilet bowl, not onto the floor. And why yes, it does take a bit of practice.

[zanana1]

7. Thank you, wyn borkins.

I'll try the half gallon method.

[LuckyCharms]

5. A tennis ball. n/t

[Harker]

11. Love - 40.

[Prairie_Seagull]

14. That snuck up on me.

bwahahaha

[True Dough]

18. I'm trying to tie DU Lounge threads together

See my post below, #17.

[NNadir]

6. Install a bidet.

[1WorldHope]

9. I tried a bidet converter kit, I will call it...

and I never felt comfortable with the water shooting up from inside the toilet. So I got rid of that and at my Ace hardware store I bought a kit that attaches a hose like the one on the kitchen sink to the water supply going to the tank via a Y valve. It has an on and off valve so there isn't ongoing water pressure when not in use. It's cold, yes, but I can point it exactly where I need it. When I'm not using it its not inside the toilet bowl collecting fecal matter. I think every toilet should have one. Clean butts feel good!

[Marthe48]

10. Old fashioned

1. My mother-in-law raised most of her kids in a house with no indoor plumbing. They kept a stack of Sears catalogues in the outhouse and would tear pages out. One of her relatives kindly pointed out that even if they had to use an outhouse, they could buy t.p. for it.

I went to Canada the year I turned 14. I was with my uncle and grandmother. We parked the car at a boat launch, where a trustee would take us across the lake to the house. As posh as it was, there was an outhouse to use. I went in and noticed a metal box attached to the wall, maybe said for emergency use on the front. I opened it up and there were 3 dried corn cobs, white, red, white. I shut the box, and came out, very curious. I asked my uncle and grandmother. My grandmother looked shocked and my uncle snickered. He explained that you used the white cob first, then the red, and finally the other white to be sure. I kind of wonder how my city uncle knew. lol

Finally, an old joke. A lady was hosting a tea party. She had everything just right, pretty linen, heirloom tea cups, dainty finger food. Right before the guests were due to arrive, she discovered she was out of toilet paper. In a flash of inspiration, she went to her sewing room and grabbed a bunch of old dress patterns, and cut them into squares, and stacked them in the bathroom. The guests arrived and oohed and aahed over the lovely tables settings. One of the ladies went to the restroom, and came back in awe.
She told her friend in a whisper, "Our hostess is so fancy, she has toilet paper marked Front and Back!"

Hope you can get to the store!

[Harker]

12. Smooth stones.

[Diamond_Dog]

13. After giving birth

The hospital sent me home with two plastic squeeze bottles. Fill first one up with mild soapy water and fill second one up with plain water. Soap up with the first, rinse with the second. Pat yourself dry with a wash cloth.

[Skittles]

15. I see you have received some decent replies

my advice is to do what I've always done - keep a multi roll under your bathroom sink AND a spare multi-pack stashed in your bedroom closet......ALWAYS have backup TP - yes indeed

[Niagara]

16. Use the 3 sea shells!!

I know that you've haven't been at home for very long time so I'm sorry for use the 3 sea shells crack.

I keep 4 of these mega packs in my home at all times. Before January 20, 2025, I only kept two of these mega packs.




I also place 5 to 6 rolls in this Sterilite letter file tote in the cabinet under the bathroom sink...just in case there's ever a plumbing issue the toilet paper doesn't get drenched.




We'll run out of food in this house before we ever run out of toilet paper.

[True Dough]

17. I would suggest

you do your business on LuckyCharms' windshield. He won't mind!



https://www.democraticunderground.com/10182322241