Expressing anger in a sideways, passive-aggressive, unhealthy way.

[raccoon]

A relative and another one by marriage does this.

By-marriage relative once remarked to me that her LATE husband didn’t like my LATE stepfather. WTF?

Other relative remarked to me that she was glad her mother-in-law and our mother were dead.
If we were close and she was in the habit of sharing her innermost feelings with me, that would be one thing.
We aren’t and she isn’t.

When people say something like that, it’s kind of a shock, like a bucket of water being thrown at you. I am taken aback and don’t know what to say.

Here’s what I think I’ll say in the future: “Why are you telling me that?”

Your thoughts?

[Baitball Blogger]

1. Oddly, wiki says that cattiness is not passive aggressive behavior.

"Passive–aggressive behavior should also not be confused with covert aggression (a behavior better described as catty), which consists of deliberate, active, but carefully veiled hostile acts and is distinctively different in character from the non-assertive style of passive aggression."

These are examples of what it is:

"Passive aggressive behavior can manifest itself as learned helplessness, procrastination, hostility masquerading as jokes, stubbornness, resentment, sullenness, or deliberate/repeated failure to accomplish requested tasks for which one is (often explicitly) responsible."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Passive%E2%80%93aggressive_behavior

[raccoon]

2. Scheiss by any other name smells as bad. But, yeah, it is more covert agression. nt