A medical provider's pet-peeve phrases.
We all have them. Some of us have a lot of them. Every list is a little different. But I'm sure there is some overlap.
Here are mine:
"Check-up". If you want a clinic visit, please tell me what you want. Don't ask for a 'check-up'. I don't know what that is. They didn't teach us how to do 'check-ups' in PA School.
"Stomach flu". There is no such thing. Influenza is respiratory in nature. If you're throwing up every ten minutes, you have gastritis. If it's vomiting and diarrhea, it's gastroenteritis. Not 'stomach flu'.
"Fever". Fever has an actual medical definition: 101 degrees Fahrenheit or 38 degrees Celsius or higher. Don't walk in with a temperature of 99.1F and tell me you have a 'fever'. Don't tell me that since your normal temperature is lower than the 98.6F average that 99.1 is a fever 'for me'. Fever is fever for everyone.
"I could feel my blood pressure rising". No you couldn't. You felt your stress level rising, and increased stress can lead to increased b/p levels. But hypertension is often called 'The Silent Killer' because it doesn't come with any symptoms. You won't have any symptoms until right before it's about to kill you, and sure, then you'll have headaches, fatigue, dizziness, disorientation and shortness of breath. But if your b/p is mildly elevated, (say, 144/92) you can't 'feel it rising'.
"I'm trying to quit smoking, doc." No you're not. If you are still smoking, you're not trying to quit. Trying to quit means putting it out and not lighting up another one. Basically the same definition as 'successfully quitting'. If you're still buying or bumming cigarettes to smoke, you're not 'trying to quit'.
"How long is this going to take, doc?" As long as it takes. If you have something else to do, go do it; I won't hold you up. And I will be here when you have time for a proper evaluation of your medical complaint.
I read a lot of complaints from patients about their medical providers, and many of them are justified, especially in a society where nobody has enough time, everybody is frustrated, and everyone is in a hurry. And on balance, I love my work, and I love my patients, even the ones who smoke or are not compliant with their treatment plans. These phrases above are pet-peeves, not sources of fury and inexhaustible frustration. I thought writing them down and sharing them might make for a mild catharsis.
Thank you.
I love you all...
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Last edited Fri Dec 21, 2012, 03:28 PM - Edit history (1)
My favs were the older people whose complaint is "just feeling a little puny"
or those of all ages that we just lumped in to the categorical complaint "ADR" ("ain't doin right"
When our providers - nurses, PAs, aides, doctors, etc. - are not allowed enough time to really listen to the patient. (So we can help you take care of us, remind us to write down our questions so we can cover the important problems quickly and not forget any that concern the patient.)
When nurses at hospitals are loaded with more patients than they can safely cover. A dozen patients per nurse in a rehabilitation hospital that covers Alzheimers, stroke, joint replacement, and accident victims - ALL of whom are fall risk, ALL of whom need specific medications at specific times, ALL of whom may need assistance with eating, dressing, drinking enough fluids, etc. - is too many especially with only one tech per nurse to assist.
When medical personnel are not paid enough to make ends meet even when they are working ridiculous hours, when they can't rely on a regular schedule so they can have a life outside the profession, when their efforts are not acknowledged or appreciated.
When even though the insurance company claims to cover stuff they routinely deny even pre-approved procedures, which costs everyone more money and does not contribute to better patient care!
I have had a lot of visits to and help from medical providers this year and 99.99% of them have been excellent (and that 0.01% was mostly because of overwork). Anything I as a patient can do to help them, I want to to do.
I 
If so, then ask for a focussed, age-appropriate, asymptomatic prostate exam, with evaluation for colon cancer risk factors.
You're welcome... 
