It's sad and pathetic that my longest relationship to date has been with my cat.
But at least animals can't break my heart they way humans can. Sure, they die eventually, but people have many other ways of letting my down.
Don't mind me, I'm only feeling sorry for myself this morning.
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right there with you this morning. and internet dating is so fucking weird. men are strange animals.
*sigh*
Last week was my birthday and my "gift" to myself was to join on online dating service. What a shitty gift. 
I put in my profile that if you watch Fox news, we aren't a match.
I'm going to stick it out just a while longer because a couple of thoughtful guys have contacted me, so maybe there is hope.
... I met my wonderful wife, we've been double-plus happy for 15+ years, on an online dating site. Before I met her, I met another incredible woman that I would have been with longer except we just lived too far apart and because be both had kids neither of us could move.
Now you might say "yeah but I'm looking for a guy" and I would say "yeah but my wife must think I'm a pretty good catch"
Meeting people online is different than other methods but just as good. Follow the rules and you will find someone!
They completely love each other and have endured a LOT of times where they were really far apart for a LONG time.
Funny thing is that I like him too! He's cute, adores her, and they have a lovely mutually respectful relationship (and she turned him on to cats so now they have TWO!)
Yay! There's hope!! 
I'm like Alarimer. I just want to run and hide.
But someday I will want to try again. And seeing how I live in the middle of nowhere, I guess I'll eventually try online dating too.
What can I do to stand out in a positive way? What would make me a rare find? What are the mistakes most men make?
I already know not to post a shirtless bathroom mirror pic. 
Here's where I would fail:
1. I'm still separated, but by the time I'm ready to do this I'll pass that one.
2. If she offers to split the bill, I will protest once. If she persists then we split it.
3. I'm not calling to see that she got home. That is stereotypical "dawg" behavior. That is how I treated my ex, and she grew to take all of my kindness and concern for granted. I'll still be kind and concerned, but, sadly, I'm not going to let it show as much as I did in the past.
Othewise, I'm gold Jerry! Gold!
I know you plan to delete, so I just wanted to shoehorn that in while I can still reply.
Do be positive. Some guys have headlines that read "why is this so difficult" or "tired of blah, blah, blah....". I don't even look at those.
Don't jump on the bandwagon before a woman has finished creating her profile. Between the time I registered and finished, 30 guys had contacted me (which seemed desperate and shallow because they didn't even know anything about me.)
Do post close up, clear pictures of just yourself. I can't see the real you if you are wearing a hat, sunglasses, holding a fish, a baby, another woman or in a group of guys. And have someone else take the picture. The internet has too many pictures of men looking down on their phone camera.
Be honest, yet positive about who you are. I hate boats and can't tolerate the heat, so my profile says something like "Sorry, boat lovers, I burn like a lobster." Goodbye boat lovers.
Pay attention to who she is. If she's pretty, but you have nothing in common, move on. If you do contact someone, write something thoughtful. My inbox is filled with messages that say (I kid you not), "Hey there, pretty lady" Um...ew. I only respond to guys if I can tell they read and comprehended my profile (and in those instances, I respond even if it's a "no". At least they treated me like a person. 
If you are truly looking for a long-term relationship, treat the dating that way. First date should be afternoon coffee (or something similar) to get to know one another. Some guy wrote me this whole planned out of evening of romance. I don't even know him. It felt creepy.
If you have kids, mention them. I like kids. I have one. I don't want any more of my own and I don't want to raise someone else's. However, I don't mind if a guy has a kid in high school. On the other hand, I have a guy friend who has three little boys and some women think that's awesome. Either way, your actual and potential children are important.
Hope this helps!
Good luck 
Thanks. Those sound like good tips to me. I am always interested in hearing an intelligent woman's point of view.
I was getting the "hey pretty lady" type of posts on my Facebook profile, and they were always from guys who came off as either creepy or desperate. (Going into the whole hearts and flowers routine with someone you don't know smells of desperation. Feeling sorry for one's self is a turn-off. It says that you're all take and no give.)
Then I put on a notice on my profile that said that I friend only people I have met personally or know through professional connections. That has cut down on the "hey pretty lady" or "heaven is missing an angel" 
posts, although one pops up every six months or so.
You really do have to be careful.
One of my friends just barely avoided being scammed by a guy who seemed utterly sincere and convincing--until he asked her to lend him $50, which, if anything he had written was true, he should not have needed.
Another friend found that an Internet honey who was supposed to be "the one" was emotionally abusive to an astounding degree.
I did the Internet/personals dating routine several times and got one short-term relationship, which I ended after realizing that our ideas of the ideal way of life differed too sharply, and one lasting friendship out of it. The other men I met were either boring ("What do you do in your spare time?" "Nothing much." or weird.
My advice to men who are looking for women is to go where the women are (libraries, yoga classes or any other classes offered by your local gym, performing and visual arts events, organized nature hikes, etc. wherever you think your kind of woman would be during her leisure hours) and strike up non-threatening conversations in a casual, friendly way. Don't say, "Oh, then she'll just want to be friends." That's true of random women. But you don't want random women. You want someone who is right for you, and if she is right for you, then she will want to be more than friends. It's not like the movies. You can't just drop corny lines and expect random women to fall into your arms. (Oh, and there's nothing wrong with women friends. They may have a friend who is right for you. My two best relationships came through introductions from friends.)
Hey, I had a cat that lived to be 20 and a marriage that lasted just as long.
I really miss the cat.
All kidding aside, maybe this year will bring you someone great!
I would say that mine did the same, except I think it's pretty much something I allowed her to take.
By the way, something's wrong with your avatar. Your University of Georgia "G" is all green and yellow! Yuck!
The longest relationship I've had is with a cat. She's gone now though. 
...has been (no kidding) with my dentist. Since 1983. Longer than my kids who were born in late '83 and '84 and certainly longer than my first marriage. He's the best. A perfectionist (sometimes to a fault) but NEVER suggests procedures that are not necessary. I once jokingly asked him if he had considered a different medical profession. His name is Dr. Butts.
Anyone in Northern VA that needs a dentist, let me know. He only takes new clients by referral. He' kinda "anal" about that.
Or Harry?
I don't have to worry about getting fired. But I don't need to be distracted for the rest of the afternoon either!
