Still new to DU

[GiveMeFreedom]

I wish I was more articulate when I write. I really only know two languages: Construction and Sailor. I went to college, but never got far.

I did marry a beautiful women named "Holly", whom I love. I have two sons, one is lost in the internet and the other seems to be a little better, I am not a perfect dad, I suck at a lot of things.

I started smoking medical weed after not smoking it for some 26 years, due to employment reasons. Feels pretty good, but I do think it really affects my writing. I love progressives and some democrats, but not all.

I really really really like DU and some of the members, I spend hours reading and reading but never really post, because when I was new to DU, I got my ass handed to me rather quickly with no remorse. It hurt my feelings. I really don't know anybody here, wish that was different. I always thought I am a fair person, not always nice, but not looking for trouble.

2 years ago I was told I have an incurable cancer, so far I am winning the fight, so I also take a lot of Oxycontins and condones which might be slowing me down some.

Oh and some Cemo pills called Votrient that make all my hair bleached yellow, a lot of gray hair is still gray though, I have never met anyone else taking it.

Oh also, (I Know, told you I can't articulate well) I get a drug called Zometa every 45 days through an IV.

I am keeping up my spirits and am really trying to post more on DU, than I have in the past, this will probably make some folks cringe, but I could say most folks could care less (*admins excluded*) I try using those smiley things in some posts, their fun to use, but I am learning to use them.

Sometimes I look for compassion on DU, like right now. Lately, I feel like when I post, a thread "dies" and no one else posts in that thread. Somehow I have killed that thread. I know it's not true in all of them, but DAMN sure feels like it. I guess this is a test to see if I have some how been blacked balled? I know one person has me on total ignore and I don't now why. Guess I never will, but it hurt my feelings to see it. Seems it is a member named orrec or something like that, that has this ignore thingy in his sig line. I have been had.

I was in a Union as an active member for 25 years until I became sick and now I am still a dues paying member, but on the retired/disabled list. Which put me on full Social Security/disability at 55. Now (in a few months) SS will put me on Medicare and what not. I am not real smart and for some reason it scares me. My wife still works, as a teacher, so I have insurance (thank god) but changes are tough and scary. I wish I had help with this.

I just wanted to say in the last paragraph, I am a democrat and believe in the common good for human benefit. I think I qualify to be here on DU as a member, but sometimes.... I just don't do it right.

I am the one that added 40 hearts to CaliforniaPeggy's list, said some stupid shit, like I always do. She was nice enough to hurt my feelings too, or so it seems to me. I am sorry Peggy, it will never happen again. Yea, I cried and kicked myself in the ass for that, "my work here is done".

This whole confession/diatribe is a result of wanting to do the right thing, "once again". However, I am crying and it really don't matter, I will probably crawl back into my obscure hole here at DU and resume what it is left of my life, so I don't fuck up.

Anyway enough dribble. I am going to smoke some more weed, think about my mortality and how much I really do love DU. For all the shit I put myself through on this board, I must love it, right? Peace.

on edit: added thing about member orrec and being fooled in bold with facepalm smiley.

[Joe Shlabotnik]

1. Vibes,

and peace to you brother. Sounds like you have have a lot on your plate. I can assure you that you are not "Death the destroyer of threads", that happens to everyone. Being ignored by one person is nothing either, some are ignored by dozens. And everyone (especially in the lounge!) has posted something silly or embarrassing before. I do it all the time.

Give yourself some credit for being more articulate than you think you are. And If you feel that you don't have much to contribute in GD, then just hang out in the lounge and contribute some witty snark when the inspiration hits you.

[union_maid]

2. Vibes from me, too

I don't do all that much posting. It's absolutely true that everyone gets to feel like the thread killer once in a while.Or more than once in a while. I think that it's just that more threads sink than you'd think.

As far as getting your ass handed to you - well, it's a very argumentative crowd. There are two times when things get really hot - during a primary season and when there's a Democratic administration. Seems like there was more general (although by no means universal) agreement when we had the Bush administration to worry about. But anyway, it's the internets and flame wars are the order of the day. If you are not wearing a thick skin on any given day I'd agree that hanging in the Lounge is not a bad idea. Things are a lot more relaxed in here. I find that lately I read more on the other forums and post most ofen in here even if I'm up for an argument. I don't often have time to stay around and defend my position properly, so best just to read sometimes. Whatever my opinion is, someone else will have it and post it eventually.

Meta makes and interesting read to get perspective on just how crazy things can get here.

In the meantime, and I mean this seriously, this is a great place to learn, get the news, and here in the Lounge, to just interact with some lovely and fun people. But try to keep your perspective because you need all your emotional energy to concetrate on the job of getting well. That's the most important thing in your life right now, so, when it comes to the internet, just do what makes you feel good and stay far from anything that hurts your feelings or just makes you feel bad if you can. And I hope very much that your treatments work and that you have many years of good health in front of you.

[In_The_Wind]

4. as usual ...well put, union_maid.

[In_The_Wind]

3. GiveMeFreedom is a beautiful username !

I understand Construction and Sailor my ex-husband was a welding foreman for Bethlehem Steel. He dropped out of high school in the 10th grade.
Tough guy, with a heart of gold and a vocabulary that should have been sanitized.

imo: there are no perfect family relations. Your dear wife, Holly, sounds like a wonderful person. your sons are growing, they will become more like you as time goes on.

I do smoke weed. Have done so for many years. Your post looks well thought out.
You are doing just fine here.

I am so very sorry that you have cancer. meds can help but there is aways the chance that we will feel (at times) like the cure (or help with the medical problem) is worse than the disease. Very recently, I needed to stop taking a med that my body needs because the side effects had become dangerous to my future health. I'll get around to seeing my doctor sometime soon. perhaps before the next scheduled appointment.

re: posting on DU my words have been misunderstood more times than I can count. Recently . . . DUers who have gotten to know me via my post have ask questions to help me to explain my archaic cryptic answers. I believe the books I read purely for entertainment have greatly affected my posting style.

CaliforniaPeggy is a gracious woman who has forgiven me . . . my many mistakes here on DU. I didn't see your post with her regarding the 40 hearts. If you feel there is a problem maybe the two of you can mend fences by private message here on DU.

as for being a thread killer it happens to almost all of us. Send one of your DU friends a PM asking what they think about your post. Sometimes. . . you'll get a reply by PM but more often that DUer will post back to you you are a thread killer no more.


now, dust yourself off, look for threads started by DUers you like and join the fun ~ or aggravation, depending on the thread you've entered. all are usually welcomed here.

personally, there are some DUers (they already know who they are) that I will never exchange post with again because they pissed me off. whatever.

please look for one of my threads here in the lounge (I have only started one thread outside the lounge, ever) you will find some wonderful supportive DUers to exchange ideas with.

in the wind

[Rhiannon12866]

5. Welcome back to DU, so glad you decided to rejoin us

I've been here for 10 years, well before the Iraq war, anyway, and I can sympathize with your reluctance to come back. When I joined DU, I'd never been on any kind of message board before and I almost keeled over when I got a reply on my very first post. Fortunately for me, it was DU's one-person welcoming committee, newyawker99, welcoming me to DU. If that hadn't been my first experience, I don't know if I'd have stayed. Unfortunately, she's been MIA for a few years and she's still really missed.

I've had my feelings hurt here, too, but I seldom get into it with people, these days. When that's happened, I've stepped away for a day or two, licked my wounds, and then started over. Most threads disappear in that length of time. And there are plenty of "protected" groups here, check them out.

And one thing I've learned here, if someone on DU is suffering or in trouble, nobody can be kinder or more generous than DUers. That's when folks here come together.

I am so sorry to hear about your illness. This is one place that you can find understanding and support. You might want to check out this one group, Chronic Health Conditions Discussion and Support, as well as the usual politics. If that's not a good fit, there are others for almost every interest or need.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=forum&id=1147

Kudos for coming back and telling your story. I, for one, am happy to welcome you and K&R your thread. If you have any questions, there's also Welcome & Help, or simply replying to a post with your question usually does it.

Here's hoping that you continue to win the battle with your health and that you'll stick around this time. And don't worry about your writing. You've expressed yourself just fine...

[kentauros]

6. All hail the Great and Powerful Orrec!

Or was that Orrex...?

Welcome to DU!
The Lounge is the best place to push up your post count and have the most fun at it, too

[lunatica]

7. I have something like 13 people ignoring me

Probably because I just say what I'm thinking and hurting people's feelings or something. We all get our asses handed to us because someone always disagrees with us on something or other. More of my threads sink than not. But sometimes I do something nice that most people like and my thread hangs around for a while. Usually it's when I post my photo collection of President Obama interacting with children.

Orrex has that on his sigline so we all see it. It doesn't mean he's ignoring all of us. He posted something answering a post of mine so I know he doesn't have me on ignore and for some reason that makes me glad. Besides you have no way of knowing if someone has you on ignore unless you go to your transparency page. Even then all you find out is the number of people who have you on ignore. Not who they are.

And the same people who hand you your ass will defend you on another thread. When someone reaches out for support everyone jumps in to give it.

I never put people on ignore. I feel it's a sign of weakness.

But you also have to toughen up, and DUers will teach you to do that.

[lunatica]

8. Here's a thread where someone else thought Orrex was ignoring them

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1018308451#post7

[pink-o]

9. Yeah, that was my thread. I been p'nked!

Hey, Give Me Freedom, I've been here since 2002, and you can see how few posts I have for 10 1/2 years! I mostly read what other people say, and DU was especially meaningful to me during the Dark Ages of 2001-2009. Most of the threads I've started sink like a stone: I think the timing or the popularity of the subject makes a big dif.

Anyway, sending you my Ashkenazi Agnostic vibes (equal to all other vibes, I hope!) for good health. Hang in there, and come see us often, okay?

[Gorp]

10. Hang in there and take a toke for me, okay?

[progressoid]

11. You need one of these...

or this:

[MrScorpio]

12. Vibeage nt

[Wait Wut]

13. 'Construction and Sailor'

I bet you're fun at a party. I've had friends that were either/or, but not both. I can't imagine combining the two.

There are thousands of members here. Not everyone will love you, some will dislike you for some ridiculous reason, others will appreciate your honesty and compassion.

Don't let the harsh comments ruin your day. When you become annoyed with a member or a thread, this (the Lounge) is the best place to relax and laugh.

[Sekhmets Daughter]

14. Welcome back and thanks for the reminder...

that we are sometimes very cavalier when it comes to the feelings of our fellow DUers.

[damnedifIknow]

15. I'm a newbie also and

I've heard "troll" more times than I can count lol. Oh well, maybe it's like an initiation into a sorority or something but I can understand the caution since I'm sure the troll activity is high here. Actually maybe I am a troll....boooowaaaa!!! Scare ya?

[Sekhmets Daughter]

17. Nah, I've long since outgrown looking

for monsters under the bed.

[backtoblue]

16. vibes, hugs, hope, and prayers

Sounds like you've got quite the mountain to climb givemefreedom. Sorry you're going through such a rough time and I wish you a healthy recovery. DU is a diverse group of personalities and opinions and I guarantee more people have had their feelings hurt here than they would admit. Keep grooving baby!


P.S. the orrec sig line is hilarious and she/he got me too!

[CaliforniaPeggy]

18. My dear GiveMeFreedom...

I am so sorry I hurt your feelings. Please forgive me for having hurt you.........I was a mess that day.

Please stay and keep posting. I think you certainly have some interesting things to say about life.

I'm glad you love DU........I do as well. It has changed my life in so many ways...most of them good.