My Dog Shane really, really blew it yesterday!
Yes, I know we should all normally have all our male dogs neutered. But Shane is about seven years old and when I found him or perhaps when he found me – he had been living on the street for three or four years and was all skin and bones, ribs openly protruding and completely infested with ticks on the outside and worms on the inside. Shane is what they call in the Pacific region a “boony dog.” According to legend boony dogs are a mixture of the descendents of military sniffer dogs that were brought to the Pacific region by the U.S. military at the end of World War II who interbred with the native Pacific Islander dogs. Well very large size 50+ pound Shane is a 7-year-old boony dog that has been with me for close to a year now.
Since he always reacted against being put outside when I went to work during the day – I kept him inside. Although he certainly would have preferred me to either stay at home or for me to take him with me to work– he seemed to have adapted to that okay. Never once did he ever break anything or leave any kind of mess. When I would get home – he would just jump with excitement and want to kiss me and then he would take a few minutes to run outside and relieve him – before falling down near my feet looking so relaxed and happy just to know I was home.
Well this little harlot dog from next door who is in heat –apparently a mixture of Doberman and Boony Dog – named Peanuts has been coming by sitting right outside my door for the last three or four days. I would let Shane out when I was home to frolic with her. The owner, a native Micronesian islander who happened by coincidence to the be the parent of a pediatric patient I once helped take care of – was happy if Shane would breed with Peanuts – because he thought Shane was a handsome and strong looking dog. Well, I thought Shane was handling it okay. Over the last few days – while I was at work Shane would wait in my house and as soon as I got home he would run outside – quickly kiss me and run off to frolic with Peanuts. A couple nights ago Shane woke me up in the middle of the night so that he could get outside and rendezvous with the harlot, Peanuts. But aside from that – I didn’t think there was any big problem until I got home from work last night and discovered that Shane had destroyed half the venetian blinds in my house and left a huge mess of all kinds of stuff frantically turned over and at left several big scratch marks all over the doors and all the windows in his attempt to get out and see the harlot, Peanuts. Well, I kind of blew my stack at Shane and he ran off – but came back about half an hour later. This time I put him in one of my spare rooms – but he managed to sneak out – since I had left the screen door to my house slightly ajar. He did come back again – about an hour later – and wept a repentance – begging me for forgiveness. I happen to be off for today and the next three days– so I will see how Shane handles this now. Hopefully the intensity of the heat that the harlot, Peanuts is giving off will soon subside and Shane can return to a normal state of mind.
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Your dog is a gigolo. 
