This is no shit -- MiddleFingerMom has been here FAR more often than he likes to think about.

[MiddleFingerMom]

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[In_The_Wind]

1. so sorry

[Gorp]

2. "Got change for a five?"

I'm sure you know the rest of the joke.

[Baitball Blogger]

3. This is the reason you should stock up on Q-tips,

even if you don't use them to clean your ears.

[Bertha Venation]

4. It used to be a pile of corn cobs in the outhouse . . .

[sarge43]

6. Or last year's Sears Roebuck catalogue -- two or three pages at a time. n/t

[nolabear]

5. I was once at a BBQ for a Duke U professor

Given by a woman who ran his research lab. She lived in a beautiful but rustic house in the country that had an honest to god outhouse. The prof's wife (British) was quite a bit of a snob until that third or fourth gin kicked in, whereupon she asked about the "necessary". When told it was an outhouse she reverted to the best Eliza Dolittle I've ever heard and screeched "Awww, does it have an Eatons catalogue to wipe my bum?!". They departed shortly thereafter.

[Sekhmets Daughter]

7. You're not supposed to flatten the 'doo-ta-doo'

Sheesh...

[MiddleFingerMom]

9. I know it as the "drr-t'drrrrrr!!!"

[Sekhmets Daughter]

10. There's just no 'splain you folks in AZ

[lunatica]

8. Damn! I know the feeling!