How to Leave a Cool Digital Trail in Case Your Partner Gets Famous

[struggle4progress]

Callie Beusman
Today 11:45am

... STEP 2: PICK A MEDIA-FRIENDLY ARCHETYPE

... If you say, "I'm happy with my boyfriend and my career and I love to take hikes," the Internet will probably say,"YOU ARE UGLY AND YOUR CAREER IS STUPID AND I HATE YOUR SMUG INSTAGRAM OF THE MOUNTAINTOP."

Thus, it's important to stick with an online persona that works. Think of it as sort of inverse Catfishing: you can use all of your own information and photos, but instead of your real personality (i.e., the woman who once ate a hot dog bun out of a trash can during a party because there weren't any snacks) you should use one that is better and cooler and crowd-pleasing.

Here are suggested personae:

... The Free Spirit With a NSFW Blog: If you're going to go for this, you need to truly go for it. You need to lead the kind of life in which people always say to you, "You are such a Jessa from Girls!" and you reply, "What is Girls?" while one of your breasts casually pops out of your silk kimono ...

http://jezebel.com/how-to-leave-a-cool-digital-trail-in-case-your-partner-512709574

[In_The_Wind]

1. I'd become invisible.

STEP 1: DELETE ALL SOURCES OF SHAME


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[struggle4progress]

2. "Like, for instance, one time LinkedIn told me that my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend was looking

at my profile, and I then Googled myself and realized that she was also probably watching the Vine I took of my rabbit gnawing on a tampon while sitting in her squalid litter box"

[In_The_Wind]

3. Oh no!