Favorite random obscure quotes from movies and/or television?

[arbusto_baboso]

I'll start with mine:

"Only my FRIENDS call me pigfucker!"

"What do you want, you moonfaced assassin of joy?"

"Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball."

[cyberswede]

1. "What do you want, you moonfaced assassin of joy?"

Love that one! Peter Jurasik was great in that role.

[arbusto_baboso]

2. Andreas Katsulas had more than a few gems in that show, too.

[OriginalGeek]

3. "Are you prepared for Jehova's return? Because if not I have a pamphlet..."

<door SLAM!>


"Well FUCK you! Half dead mother fucker..."
Lawanda Page from Friday

Whenever I get to hang out with my friend that also loves this movie, we stop talking like normal people and just quote from it all day long. It drives our spouses crazy.

[gratuitous]

4. Happy Fun Ball from SNL

A hilarious little commercial parody, second to the Bass-O-Matic, but definitely one of their classics.

"Your breath smells like old lady fart passed through an onion."

[surrealAmerican]

7. I still think the best quote from an SNL parody ad is:

"I'll spray some on your mop, and some on your butterscotch pudding."

[MGKrebs]

5. "I have a vewy good fwiend in Wome named Biggus Dickus".

[Doc Holliday]

6. That sounds like

Madelyn Kahn in Blazing Saddles.....and if it's not, it should be.

[surrealAmerican]

8. No, this would be Monty Python.

... more specifically, "The Life of Brian"

[MGKrebs]

16. He had a wife you know.

Her name was Incontinentia Buttocks!

[progressoid]

14. That whole scene kills!

Hell, most of that movie makes my side ache!

[oberliner]

46. My favorite scene is correcting the Latin graffiti

Still hilarious after multiple viewings.

[HopeHoops]

9. "The president of the US? That actor guy...John Wayne or something."

[Joe Shlabotnik]

10. where to start?, I could compile a book of favorites!

Just a few though, so as not to steal anyone else's thunder.

“just like getting two birds stoned at the same time”
-Ricky, Trailer park boys

"This radio station was named Kowalski, in honour of the last American hero to whom speed means freedom of the soul. The question is not when's he gonna stop, but who is gonna stop him."
-Super Soul, Vanishing Point

“when God closes a door, he opens a pair of legs. "
- Roger Sterling from Madmen

“…..that’s the secret to survival….. Never go to war; especially with yourself”
- Nicholas Cage in Lord of War

"Now if You'll excuse me, I have some death to defy"
- Peter Griffin, Family Guy

[Stuart G]

11. From Star Trek, Original Series..

I signed aboard this ship to practice medicine, not to have my atoms scattered back and forth across space by this gadget." -- McCoy (Space Seed)

[csziggy]

12. "It could be worse." "How?" "It could be raining." Lightning, then torrential rain begins.

Young Frankenstein, graveyard scene as Igor and Dr. Frankenstein are digging up a grave.

[Joe Shlabotnik]

24. Young Frankenstein

was THE first ever movie I bought on DVD. Such a classic in every way!

[bemildred]

13. "Nobody move, or the bunny gets it."

Reminds me so much of how we do politics.

[progressoid]

15. "...ordinary fuckin' people. I hate 'em."

Harry Dean Stanton in Repoman.

[Gold Metal Flake]

17. "You could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all of that stuff."

[sarge43]

41. Dr Strangelove

The Buff crew going over their survival equipment - gold coins, nylons, condoms, etc.

[EastTennesseeDem]

50. You probably know this, but

if you watch it, you can see he is saying "Dallas." "Vegas" had to be dubbed in because of the recent JFK assassination.

[snagglepuss]

18. What no tigers in Africa?

[Kali]

19. oh good you've decided to clean the elevator

uh yeah, we've got 'em working in shifts

somebody piss on the floor again?

[eppur_se_muova]

20. "Gee, I wish *we* had one of them Doomsday Machines."

Most of the rest would be from Futurama or The Simpsons.

[EastTennesseeDem]

21. Personally, I believe that is the greatest film of all time

Even if it's from a technological standpoint, I still could give a shit. Script, acting, message, that is the greatest film ever made. I don't think I've ever come away from a film questioning my humanity as I did with Dr. Strangelove.

[Joe Shlabotnik]

27. Agreed. Peters Sellers again at his best,

not to forget George C Scott and Slim Pickens. The plot was good (though not terribly original), but the execution was awesome. On top of that was an awakening moment for its viewers, to stop and ask "is this all a big game for big wigs in Washington play"...."what about me!". And props to best named characters.... Mufley Mirkern, Capt. Kong, and my favorite: Colonel Bat Guano.

[eppur_se_muova]

39. Follows the story line of "Red Alert", a grimly serious novel ...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_Alert_(novel)

A genre of such topical fiction sprang up in the late 1950s – led by Nevil Shute's On the Beach – of which Red Alert was among the earliest examples.

A very similar novel, Fail Safe , was used as the basis for a movie, released in the same year (1964), from the same studio, as Strangelove, and a 2000 live B/W "teleplay". The similarities between the two novels led to a lawsuit and out-of-court settlement. I saw the 1964 Fail Safe only after seeing Strangelove. It would be hard to say which was the more believable movie.

BTW, that was Merkin Muffley.

[Turbineguy]

38. "Don't forget to say your prayers!"

[Behind the Aegis]

22. "Are you high, Claree?!"

[Mopar151]

23. Tighter than a 7 pound rooster in a quart jar!

"The Woodwright's Shop" on PBS

"Watch out for that -whoaoao! - tree." George of the Jungle

"I thank you for every bolt in my truck and every shingle on my roof!" Dennis Anderson. "Grave Digger" monster truck.

[bluesbassman]

26. A couple from the same film: "Yeah! Corndog", and " I wash my hands and feet of you".

[Earth Bound Misfit]

28. "These pretzels are making me thirsty"

[Earth Bound Misfit]

29. "I'm American, honey. Our names don't mean shit."

Butch to Fabienne, Pulp Fiction.

[mucifer]

30. There were a ton of them from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"

But, I can't think of any of them. It's been a while.

[UnrepentantLiberal]

31. "There's a rope around my neck right now, and they only hang you once.

If anybody turns yellow and squeals my gun's gonna speak its peace."

- Caesar Enrico Bandello

[taterguy]

32. Hell, Poot, we're all whores; might as well be the best.

[IcyPeas]

33. "Listen pal...

you can't waltz in here, use my toaster, and start spouting universal truths without qualifications."

(Matin Donovan in Trust (2002)

[Graybeard]

34. "He's all eaten away!"

The Invisible Man (1933). When Claude Rains removes the bandages from around his head and face to show the townspeople what they are dealing with. They just stare, unable to comprehend even the idea of invisibility.

[Brother Buzz]

35. Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves?

Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here? Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?

[Ikonoklast]

36. Ash, in "Army of Darkness".

"Alright you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! You see this? This... is my boomstick! The twelve-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about a hundred and nine, ninety five. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that?"

"Good, bad...I'm the guy with the gun."

[Old Troop]

37. "...it's a big building, full of sick people. But that's not important now."

Airplane

[charlie and algernon]

40. "Beavers and ducks!"

-Billy Bob Thorton awaking from
a dream in "Bandits"

[MiddleFingerMom]

42. Not so obscure... but the greatest quote from a great movie...

.
.
.
... "THOSE AREN'T PILLOWS!!!"
.
.
.
Planes, Trains & Automobiles
.
.
.

.
.
.

[Richardo]

43. "Larrabee, confiscate that plant." "I can't do that Chief, I'm not a priest."

Get Smart - 1966.

[Initech]

44. I could do a whole book just from the Simpsons:

"Ah look at the cute little minors." - Moe

"To Alcohol, the cause of and solution to all of life's problems." - Homer

"Kids you tried your best and you failed miserably! The lesson is never try." - Homer

"These women are guilty and must be dealt with in a harsh and brutal fashion. Otherwise their behavior could incite other women leading to anarchy of biblical proportions. It's in Revelations people!!!!" - Kent Brockman

"Call this an unfair generalization if you must, but old people are no good at everything. " - Moe

"So I says, blue M&M, red M&M, they all wind up the same color in the end. " - Homer

"There's no justice like angry-mob justice." - Principal Skinner

"Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix. " - Comic Book Guy

"Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins the movie by telling you how it ends. Well, I say there are some things we don't want to know. Important things. " - Ned Flanders

"And this ends Krusty's non-denominational holiday fun fest. So have a Merry Christmas, a Happy Chanukah, a Krazy Kwanzaa, a Tip Top Tet, and a solemn, eventful Ramadan. Now, over to my god, our sponsors. " - Krusty The Klown

"Kids, we need to talk for a moment about Krusty Brand Chew Goo Gum Like Substance. We all knew it contained spider eggs, but the hanta virus? That came out of left field. So if you're experiencing numbness and/or comas, send five dollars to antidote, PO box...
(gets interrupted by a newscast) - Krusty The Klown

"All right, Simpson. You just bought yourself a 417, pointing out police stupidity. Or is that a 413? No, a 413 is a dog, and... um... you're in trouble, pal. " - Chief Wiggum

[oberliner]

45. "Chair-E-Point: Cherry Point"

"What about the ball?"

Anyone know that movie?

[Grantuspeace]

47. I'm not wearing any pants.....

"I'm not wearing any pants. Film at eleven." Kentucky Fried Movie

"Deja Vu, I will always remember you." Top Secret!


"Fifty bucks never killed anybody." Used Cars

"I'd buy that for a dollar". Robocop

[Grantuspeace]

48. Richie, would you do me a favor and....

Richie, would you do me a favor and eat my p*$$y for me?
FROM DUSK TILL Dawn

[pokerfan]

49. Lord loves a working man; Don't trust whitey; See a doctor and get rid of it