Kali! Kali! MFM has fallen into the well! hurry!

[Kali]

Everybody remember this? http://www.democraticunderground.com/1018425419

I did ALL of them! some repeatedly. Finally I decided to go to the door that looked like a front door. I rang the bell and opened the screen door to knock on the wood door. It was partly open. I heard shouting!!! Scared the crap out of me.

It sounded like MFM yelling some sort of instructions but I couldn't understand the words. At least he was alive and able to yell. That part was a relief, but I still didn't know what was going on. Could he be not dressed yet or something else wrong and he was saying "wait, don't come in, just a minute"? (Like I do when somebody drives up and I have to run to the back room and put on some "in-public" clothes)

Or was he wanting help with something? I went into the front room and he was yealling "KALI?" so I said "yeah, what's up?" He says "Open the door!!" I am like "I did, I am here in the house"

Eventually he talks me to this dark hallway and I figure which door he is behind, but I am NATURALLY FUCKING HESITANT to proceed!!! we are just friends after all. I don't know what the fuck he is doing. He starts ranting about these rules, most of them being "shut the fuck up" (I think that was rule 1, 3, 4, 5, and 6)

Are you ready?

[rug]

1. Don't leave us hanging! What happened next?

[In_The_Wind]

2. That's why I'm not in front of the fan. I'm waiting for the next chapter.

[rug]

3. Kali at the end of a dark hall with MFM yelling inside is either a horror movie or specialty porn.

[Kali]

4. um...this is MFM we are talking about

you forgot COMEDY

[MiddleFingerMom]

5. It could have been comedy PORN, ya know.

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Are 28-second long movies considered "short films"?
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Heh-heh. Heh-heh. He said "short".
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[MiddleFingerMom]

7. Coming attractions? You don't wanna know.

[In_The_Wind]

8. Oh ... yes, we do.

[dixiegrrrrl]

28. NO NO NO..you don't...you REALLY don't.

[madinmaryland]

24. This is not going to get sticky, is it??

[rug]

9. That's why I can't be sure.

[In_The_Wind]

6. Maybe ... he was stuck.

Like in the tub and couldn't get out.

[MiddleFingerMom]

10. Kali is a cruel, cruel woman.

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Just look. She's pulling off my legs one-by-one. And my wings. And then she's making
me listen to an audiobook of "Twilight" as narrated by Gilbert Godfried and Howard's
mother on "The Big Bang Theory.
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Cruel, I tell you!!!
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[In_The_Wind]

15. Aww ... MFM.

She only wants to help you.
Yeah. That's it. You just think she wants to cripple and torture you. It's the heat. You'll be ok.

[rug]

12. I hope this gets resolved in chapter two.

I hate suspense.

[In_The_Wind]

19. Wow! He really was stuck! Kali is a hero!

Let's buy her a drink.

[Paulie]

14. I would guess more like this

[In_The_Wind]

21. Nice!

[Kali]

11. he was trapped in the bathroom

yes. He was yelling for me to help him open the door.

now, can you IMAGINE my trepidation about the situation. I have no doubt I can shoulder this flimsy bathroom door open. But do I want to? What am I going to face when it clears the jamb?



Do I do this with my face averted? Eyes closed? Is it a good thing I left the camera in the car?

Big breath and shove the door. It opens right up and the view is...


essentially this face






and a fully clothed MFM sitting on the pot awaiting rescue.

for like two hours.


Now, I wasn't supposed to say anything so please don't tell him I told you.

[rug]

13. Wow, that can be very serious.

Not to mention aggravating as hell.

I'm glad you were there.

[Paulie]

16. Courtesy flushes sent necessary at home

As you say, can be serious beyond the peeling paint.

[MiddleFingerMom]

17. I kept hearing this Santa-like voice (maybe it was me in the mirror) warning me...

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... against YANKING the door open.
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"Don't do it. You'll put your rectum out, kid."
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[rug]

23. "Rectum? It could have killed em"

Old, old punchline.

I'm glad you're ok, MFM.

I grew up in an old walkup and there were a lot of old single women living alone in their apartments. The woman acroos the hall who watched me when my parents were working wasn't at my apartment one day when I got home from school. So I walked over and knocked on her apartment and I heard her faintly calling my name. I banged louder and I just heard her calling my name as loud as she could, which wasn't very loud. So I went and got the super who opened her door. She lived in a three room railroad apartment and she had fallen in the farthest room. She was 76 and had been lying there for 18 hours. The super called an ambulance and she went to the hospital. She never came home. We visited her once at the hospital and once at the home they sent her to upstate. After that I never saw her again. Her name was Louise and she was from Czechoslovakia. She was a kind woman.

I'm glad you're ok, MFM.

[Kali]

26. well he does have a couple of roomates

and there was water so...


I thought I was a total doofus. THIS is way UP there.

we need to design an escape hatch. maybe his landlord could install a big doggy door in the bathroom door.

[rug]

18. Now that he's ok I can tell you I sold the movie rights already.

[MiddleFingerMom]

20. If it opens with the theme from "Jaws", I'm not going to remain seated.

[In_The_Wind]

25. Oh my!

[Kali]

27. its missing this kind of deep mans voice

yelling "now you have to SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP." over and over and the incredulous "OMG WTF" and the eventual...HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAH!!!!!!!!! from me

[krispos42]

29. Let me guess...

...he forgot to lower the seat when he used the plumbing, and when he flushed, the dropping water levels and airtight seal his thighs made with the porcelain resulted in a partial vacuum in the bowl... and thus cementing him in place.

[Arctic Dave]

22. Killing me.