The DU Lounge
Related: Culture Forums, Support Forums18 year old cat
she probably needs to get put to sleep. I'm deeply depressed about it, but she shits and pisses everywhere and cries in pain. It's time. I feel like shit making this decision.
Aerows
(39,961 posts)I don't know what in the hell else to do.
LWolf
(46,179 posts)I know it's hard. In similar circumstances, when I knew it was time, I've paid for a "ranch call" by a vet that does both small and large animals, so that my 4-legged family member didn't have to deal with the stress of the car ride and office, just stayed at home and slipped away on my lap.
My mom's 19 yo kitty passed last year that way.
It comes down to this: if the cat is suffering, and there is no other way to allieviate that suffering, it's an act of love.
Aerows
(39,961 posts)other than this.
NYC_SKP
(68,644 posts)Aerows
(39,961 posts)But she is having problems.
NYC_SKP
(68,644 posts)That when the time comes, they tell us and we do what's best.
All in exchange for years and years of unconditional love.
Our thoughts are with you.
Bertha Venation
(21,484 posts)Please release her immediately. Please don't let her live in pain any longer, Aerows. You must release her, no matter how much it hurts you -- and I know how much it hurts. I've had to do it quite a few times and I know how painful it is.
But since she is in pain the decision really should not be that hard. Please let her go.
You have my very best wishes for this painful time. I am so very sorry.
Aerows
(39,961 posts)And I am trying my best. She has been with me forever. Please don't judge me that I can't get there immediately. I'm trying.
Bertha Venation
(21,484 posts)"Immediately" -- I didn't mean that literally, and I see I shouldn't have said it at all. I am so sorry. Have I hurt you further?
I know how much it hurts. I don't know what to say but that I am sorry.
RebelOne
(30,947 posts)because I had to make that tough decision to send my sweet dog to doggy heaven if there is such a place. It is so, so hard.
Response to RebelOne (Reply #29)
Aerows This message was self-deleted by its author.
Aerows
(39,961 posts)It is hard.
Aerows
(39,961 posts)I sent a dog, my prized Doberman Pinscher to doggie heaven, but that was him running around on a farm. I never saw Blue die, he ran like heaven couldn't stop his paws when he hit the dirt. The family that got him adored him, and he adored their children.
TexasTowelie
(111,279 posts)However, as difficult as it is to lose your friend it would also be cruel to let your cat suffer in that situation. She has depended on you to take care of her throughout her life and ultimately she is dependent on you to help her from that misery. Remember her fondly and show her love.
Aerows
(39,961 posts)do anything for her. Including this, and it's nothing I've ever wanted to do.
Arkansas Granny
(31,483 posts)It hurts to lose them, but it's part of the responsibility that comes with caring for them.
Aerows
(39,961 posts)It is extremely hard what needs to be done.
Call Me Wesley
(38,187 posts)This decision is never easy, nor should it be. It sucks. It deeply sucks and then some more. And there's a part missing forever. Be there with her.
Safe passage to your companion. May she be free from suffering. Peace and comfort to you and yours.
Aerows
(39,961 posts)I could wish for nothing more than safe passage and that I'll fluff her tail in another time. She's amazingly fluffy.
Hoyt
(54,770 posts)The vet had me giving him IV fluids, etc., to keep him around, but it wasn't going to get any better. So I held him as vet gave an injection, and he went to sleep on my lap like the good old days.
The hardest part was not having a little buddy around. Next time it happens, I won't wait long to get another.
Let us know what happens.
Aerows
(39,961 posts)It makes me so sad.
LeftofObama
(4,243 posts)Tuesday Afternoon
(56,912 posts)Stay strong Aerows. no more suffering only happy memories. Peace to you as you help her cross the rainbow bridge.
trof
(54,255 posts)"Are you putting this off because it's best for your pet? Or easiest for you?"
I knew the answer and did what was humane.
It's never easy, is it?
Tuesday Afternoon
(56,912 posts)But, it is for the best.
It is OK to let go Aerows, really. Cherish the happy memories.
Aerows
(39,961 posts)trof
(54,255 posts)I've been through this three times with our old dogs.
The first time I was a lot younger and dropped him off at the vet to let him do the deed.
I just did not want to do it or be there.
I felt like shit about that for a long time.
Since then I stay and hold them and stroke them so they're not afraid and they just peacefully sleep.
That's not easy at all.
You'll be crying.
So what?
Courage.
I think I will probably never forget her strong-voiced Meow throughout the house. My other cat couldn't sing the way that the fluffy cat could. Fluffy cat is Contessa, an intensely fluffy Himalayan.
Aerows
(39,961 posts)She will go somewhere better than where she is in pain tomorrow. She's been a friend for 18 years. I'm making an appointment with the veterinarian that has cared for her for 8 years.
Aerows
(39,961 posts)I am sobbing like an idiot, deep and in distress. I can't imagine the house without her meow.
trof
(54,255 posts)Aerows
(39,961 posts)I appreciate it.
LiberalElite
(14,691 posts)I've been through this situation several times. It's incredibly painful.
haele
(12,581 posts)You'll hear her in your dreams, and she well be healthy and happy. She'll always be with you.
Haele
Brigid
(17,621 posts)Aerows
(39,961 posts)She has been with me for a long time. What if I am ill-prepared to care for her? I'm well prepared to care for her, because I adore her.
I meant if I had to do what I have to do tomorrow. It is incredibly sad. My family offered to do it instead of me being there, but I cannot.
RebelOne
(30,947 posts)My 13-year-old Rottweiler had inoperable liver and bone cancer. I did what I could to alleviate her pain with pain pills from the vet. But because of her bone cancer, she could not walk any more. It is a hard decision to make to take my beloved pet for her final journey to the vet. But you are doing the right thing by ending the pain your pet is going through and ending her misery.
raccoon
(31,088 posts)The Straight Story
(48,121 posts)Have had to make that decision several times and it always, always, sucks. Even when you know you are doing the right thing.
Aerows
(39,961 posts)Arugula Latte
(50,566 posts)I know it's so hard to do, but she's not enjoying life. Please let her go.
Another thing ... We always say that the only good thing about putting down a kitty is that it opens up another spot in our household to help another one. There are so very many shelter cats who need homes.
Aerows
(39,961 posts)I was there when she was a little ball of fur.
I don't know if I should be there or not.
LiberalElite
(14,691 posts)maybe go along with your mother and see how you feel when you get there.
It's a very personal decision, but I've been with them through the whole process, because I figure I'll feel like hell anyway.
applegrove
(118,006 posts)Aerows
(39,961 posts)she's so beautiful. Might not have had the nicest personality, but she always had deep, sleek long fur and curled up beside me.
applegrove
(118,006 posts)MrsBrady
(4,187 posts)can you give us an update
Jenoch
(7,720 posts)Our cat was 20 years, 6 months old and his kidneys quit working well. I brought him to the vet and was balling like a baby. We got him when I was 7 years old. He was almost like a sibling. I cried over that cat more than I did when my grandmothers dies. Of course, I spent a lot more time with the cat too.
irisblue
(32,828 posts)I held Duke, I held Alex, I held Squirty, her last December. I had to be there, each time. It was right for me, and them. I have never regretted being there, knowing they were in my arms when they left for the rainbow bridge. I know your pain, I am sorry.
onestepforward
(3,691 posts)I totally understand as I watch my 18 year old cat go down hill too.
cheri010353
(127 posts)This poem helped me when I had to let my Muffin kitty leave me.
May I Go Now?
by Susan A. Jackson
May I Go? May I go now?
Do you think the time is right?
May I say good-bye to pain-filled days
and endless lonely nights?
I've lived my life and done my best,
an example tried to be.
So can I take that step beyond
and set my spirit free?
I didn't want to go at first,
I fought with all my might.
But something seems to draw me now
to a warm and loving light.
I want to go. I really do.
It's difficult to stay.
But I will try as best I can
to live just one more day,
To give you time to care for me
and share your love and fears.
I know you're sad and so afraid,
because I see your tears.
I'll not be far, I promise that,
and hope you'll always know
that my spirit will be close to you,
wherever you may go.
Thank you so for loving me.
You know I love you too.
That's why it's hard to say good-bye
and end this life with you.
So hold me now, just one more time
and let me hear you say,
because you care so much for me,
you'll let me go today.
Aerows
(39,961 posts)Thank you for this.
rurallib
(62,342 posts)the worst thing about having pets is having to make that tough call.
But the cat is suffering also, you know.
snappyturtle
(14,656 posts)cliffordu
(30,994 posts)It's the pact we make, to not let them suffer when we let them into our lives.
Your cat has had the best life a pet can have. Don't let her suffer anymore.
fizzgig
(24,146 posts)i second the suggestion that you go with her.
we had to help our big boy across the bridge five years ago and it was the first time i was part of that particular journey. my dad held him in his lap and my sister and i held his hands. it was a very peaceful and enlightening experience through the heartbreak. he'd been with us for 14 years and as hard as it was to say goodbye, i would not have had it any other way.
my thought to you in this very difficult time
nolabear
(41,915 posts)I'm so sorry. I've been there many times, with cats and dogs. It's the last loving thing you can do for her.
KittyWampus
(55,894 posts)That's what I told my beloved cat. I wanted her to know it was okay to rest.
haele
(12,581 posts)(hopefully not too soon)
My baby boys Willy Bear and Moggy both had cancer in the jaw and face (the vet suspected it was the industrial carpeting at the apartment we stayed at for four years when they had hit the senior period of life; Moggy's thyroid issue has been linked to an issue triggered by fireproofing chemicals in carpet and upholstery that is now illegal in CA).
This made it a bit easier to know when it was time, but was just as hard as if it was simply old age.
We had a "mobile vet" who worked with our regular vet and knew the situation come to the house each time to help them pass; good vets who do that will make some sort of evaluation beforehand.
Much less stress to them and to the family. It's a grace that we can grant them, to help them go to sleep and ease them from the inevitable suffering of a chronic or fatal condition.
Again, so sorry you need to go through this.
Haele
a la izquierda
(11,784 posts)I'm really sorry. I've been through this with my dogs and it sucks. I'm hoping I will not have to do this anytime soon (though my little guy just had emergency abdominal surgery).
Someone said to me once: "the best thing we can do for our pets is give them sweet relief when they are suffering terribly."
Good luck in the days ahead.
we can do it
(12,116 posts)(We had to put our 21 y/old down a year ago - we knew the last day he just didn't have his spunk anymore) We stayed with him at the end- he made one last loud MEOW at the vet before she gave him the injection...I held him as he slipped away. I know he was glad to have us there.
You will never forget how much she loves you....love and peace to you both
discntnt_irny_srcsm
(18,470 posts)If you're able in the future you can rescue another. Cats are excellent.
MrMickeysMom
(20,453 posts)If she is in this misery at this age, I think you know what to do... It is supposed to feel like crap.
The most humane things in life feel like that sometimes. Be there for her with your good-byes and
And know that we are with you for this pain.
BarbaRosa
(2,684 posts)except I've gone through this before and a
roody
(10,849 posts)more than once.
http://m.youtube.com/index?&desktop_uri=%2F#/watch?v=2kaOLKEAVLo
Aerows
(39,961 posts)I feel that I did the kindest thing I could do, but it also makes me cry.
Aerows
(39,961 posts)Sometimes we do what needs to be done, but fear we didn't do the right thing.
And that's a common fear; I've always wondered if I did the right thing. But then, you realize - she wasn't going to get any better, she was only going to get worse, and she was crying in distress because of the loss of her personal dignity and the pain of her failing body.
You gave her a graceful release of pain, and you sacrificed your personal interests for her comfort. Would she have gotten better, or would she have continued in a downward spiral until one day, after suffering, she just wouldn't wake up? That's what I had to realize each time I watched the needle go in the leg and held them as they went to sleep.
You did the right thing. It feels bad, but you did the right thing.
Haele
friendly_iconoclast
(15,333 posts)It means you loved them and miss them. I've had to do it twice, crying like a little kid both times
If our fur buddies are in pain, it's up to us to ease their suffering. You will always remember them,
and the pain will ease and you will be left with the good memories.
Bertha Venation
(21,484 posts)Aerows
(39,961 posts)joeybee12
(56,177 posts)narnian60
(3,510 posts)Cried until I thought my head would explode on both occasions. I always have several pets, so I had no thoughts about getting another so quickly, but one day after I put my precious Claude down, Roxie came into our lives unexpectedly, and in Claude's honor we lovingly accepted her into our home. She is a joy, and although she doesn't replace him, the sting of his death seems somewhat more endurable now. Just wanted to add my 2 cents to the long list of people who can relate to your pain.
HeiressofBickworth
(2,682 posts)over our 17 year old cat. She's already very thin and frail. She had a pretty bad weekend. Didn't eat. Only drank water when I picked her up and put her at the water dish. She was unbalanced on her feet. Saturday night I thought she wasn't going to be able to make the walk out to the garage to the litter boxes so I made a pee-pad for her in the family room where she usually sleeps. I put down plastic and then a couple of towels on top of that. She used it sometime during the night. On Sunday morning, she finally ate a bit of tuna fish in water.
The rest of the family had been away camping for the weekend so when they got home I had to tell them that the cat wasn't doing well. My 18-year old granddaughter took it the hardest -- the cat has been with us nearly as long as she has.
And then on Sunday night, she ate a good amount of wet cat food and again today. She seems to have given up the dry food. She's been begging for people-food which we have given her (bits of pork chops, a little chicken and tuna). She's been walking better, too.
Although she has rallied, I think it's a signal that she is nearing the end. She isn't suffering so we aren't doing anything at this point. It's such a hard decision to know when is the right time, but I think they let us know.
Aerows
(39,961 posts)crying, but I know I did the right thing.
snappyturtle
(14,656 posts)magical thyme
(14,881 posts)so they no longer have to.
You will stop crying. Eventually you will stop hurting and will only remember the good days.
I lost my elderly gelding on Feb 9, 2012. I had rescued him from neglect nearly 23 years earlier. It was the hardest thing I ever did in my life. My work desk and my bedroom are filled with his pictures from better days.
But it was his time to leave, and it was past time for my filly's star to rise. She will never replace him in my heart, but there is plenty of room for both of them there.
BarenakedLady
(22,051 posts)and you. You absolutely did the right thing.
((hug))