Kali has been experimenting with sobriety.

[MiddleFingerMom]

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[Chan790]

1. Don't do it!!

As a non-drinker, I feel that Dean Martin quote constantly.

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and that's the best they're going to feel all day."

[Ron Obvious]

2. I only drink on two occasions

When it's raining &
when it's not raining.

Scary thing: I've apparently posted this lame gag before, as the subject line automatically expanded, but have no recollection of it. Oh well,

[MiddleFingerMom]

3. "I only drunk-post on two occasions."

[Ron Obvious]

5. That's about the size of it

Yet, the fact that I went ahead and hit 'Post' to share this unfunny joke anyway after I realised I'd posted it before shows character, I think. Not good character, mind, but character.

[Baitball Blogger]

4. Alcohol is one of those things that hits you twice when you're unft to handle.

First, because being sober 24/7 is a cruel way to face the world and because you lose the opportunity to make friends with funny people.