I am infatuated with a co-worker

[Yavin4]

I haven't had this strong of an attraction to anyone in 17 years. There's a new person in my department, and I am incredibly attracted to her. She's very smart and well accomplished. She's way better than me.

It's not a simple physical attraction either. I've had those in the recent past, and this is something completely different.

Now, understand this. I am in complete control of my emotions and behavior. I don't creep around her, and I don't act any differently around than I do any other co-worker. I am not going to let her know about my attraction to her nor will I ever ask her out. I monitor everything I do and say to her. I don't want her to feel uncomfortable doing her job. She's going to be a star in our department, and I don't want to jeopardize that in any way.

What I've learned about this whole thing is: attraction can happen at any time with any one. You cannot control who you are attracted to. It just hits you like a ton of bricks.

[femmocrat]

1. Uh oh.

Work and attractions do not mix well. Good luck to you.

[Yavin4]

3. Relax. I can handle this.

Nothing is going to happen.

[madinmaryland]

2. Get a new job or a transfer out of that office. It will NOT end well. nt

[Yavin4]

4. I can handle it. Nothing bad is going to happen. n/t

[madinmaryland]

5. Famous last words. It sounds like your other "brain" may be doing the talking!

Just be careful.

[Yavin4]

8. I fully understand and accept that the feeling is not mutual

My true brain is in full control of the situation.

[BlueJazz]

6. I would be very professional with her. Maybe see if we have anything in common.

If you do, wait for an opening...sometime..Days?.. and bring the subject up.
If it starts to fly, fine...if not ... que sera sera.

[Amerigo Vespucci]

7. I once slept with my boss

On one hand, it is easily one of the stupidest things I've ever done in my life.

On the other, she was one of the most amazing women I've ever known in my life. She came over one night after work and we drove out to Half Moon Bay and we walked along the beach and I sang The Beach Boys' "Surfer Girl" to her. How often does THAT kind of thing happen?

But you're right.

The heart wants what the heart wants. We eventually have to take ownership of our actions but if I could go back a couple of decades in time I'd do it all over again without hesitation.

[a la izquierda]

9. Pshaw.

"she's way better than me." What does that mean? Don't sell yourself short.

A story: I met my husband after I graduated college. I was madly, madly in love with a guy I had been dating on and off for years, but it was not a good match. Anyway, this new guy took care of animals. He was intimidated because he never went to college. I told him I wanted to go to get my MA and go on to do something professional. I didn't care in the slightest that he didn't go to school. He is easily one of the most compassionate, caring, and hard working people to ever walk this earth. In many ways, he is smarter and better than I can ever hope to be.

You never know who you will fall in love with. If I was unattached, and a coworker asked me out for coffee or lunch, I would not feel weird.

I have a PhD and a great job. My husband will open a kennel next year. He will likely- in a few years- make more money than I. And I couldn't be happier.

[PasadenaTrudy]

10. Are you married?

Or in a relationship? Just curious...

[Yavin4]

11. Not married. Not in a relationship.

I'm pretty sure that she's not in one as well.

[Phentex]

12. I married a co-worker...

Though in different departments. I think it happens all the time.