How to deal with a control freak boss?

[HipChick]

Last edited Sun Aug 25, 2013, 04:29 PM - Edit history (2)

Need some suggestions about dealing with control freak boss? I explicitly told him that I have very limited ability this weekend, and I am not contracted to work weekends, nor is it in any HR corporate policy I can find. I don't get paid overtime or get any comp time. He sends aggressive,hostile emails - and is always making threats...he told me once, he knows how to make people disappear..whatever that means. I hate dealing with bully bosses, but I'm at the point, where I have just had enough...

**UPDATE: Things came to a head today, and I had to go to HR

**NEW UPDATE - Not Fired yet...

Basically, I was asked to take over a project that Control Freak was working on. This weekend, we had major stuff going on with the client, I successfully handled all issues that came up, and threatened to derail project. The client was so grateful, that they went to my upper management and requested that I become their client liasion and replace control freak - for example, he left so many steps out of the project plan that I reviewed this weekend - I think he was hoping I would fail, and then he could step in and be a hero. I found something very vital to the project, that he did NOT do. It will be interesting to see how he spins that. I got kudo's from my upper management, and a personal note of thanks from my VP, which is not heard of.
So basically, next week he is going to have to answer to how he basically f'ed up this project, and how he has to explain to his management how and why he been trying to get me fired, when he has been the incompetent one all along..

BTW...my appt for HR was for Mon morning...

[Incitatus]

1. He knows how to make people disappear?

Did he say this in an emai?

[HipChick]

7. I have it in an email..

[Baitball Blogger]

25. Is there anyone over him?

[Avalux]

2. If you have evidence, i.e. emails, go to HR.

Go to HR each and every time he acts or talks out of line, even if it's just your word against his. You might be in their office every day, but it's their job to listen to you and take action if you report that he's making threats, which is harassment.

How many others does your boss supervise?

[Tuesday Afternoon]

3. go to HR.

[B Calm]

14. Never ever trust HR, they are just a tool for management!

[Demo_Chris]

4. And DOCUMENT everything. Every word, every hostile look...

Everyone who was there.

[politicat]

5. HR, Monday morning, with printed copies of those.

Don't say anything until HR has read them. Document, document, document.

Is Aggro-boss's boss sympathetic? If so, make sure Aggro's boss is kept in the loop, and if needed, BCC your critical project data to Aggro's boss. Keep copies of your performance reviews at home.

Because that's just... Way out of line. Like edging past employee harassment out of line.

[eShirl]

6. restraining order ("knows how to make people disappear" wtf)

[HipChick]

8. I told my parents tonight, if I ever go missing..

His name should be on the first list of suspects..

[Kennah]

9. "I know how to make people disappear"

If you have that in Email, I would first take it to HR. When you meet with HR, tell them that they need to respond in a satisfactory manner or you will need to bring the matter to the local police.

[HipChick]

10. That's a good point about involving the police...he wants to know where I am too on my days off..

I put my phone on DND on my days off..

[Tuesday Afternoon]

17. your days off are really none of his business ... yes, I think HR and the police would

be the prudent thing to do at this point. "make people disappear" that definitely sounds threatening.

[Kennah]

26. As I think about this more, you need to talk to both HR AND the police

First bring it to HR, and tell them that you will also be speaking with the police, so you will need to know what name to give the investigating officer to contact in HR at work.

[Sherman A1]

12. Agreed

This person has a problem and has made a threat to your personal safety. It is beyond time to ask for help.

[MrMickeysMom]

11. I know...

Go to a hypnotist who in the middle of making you relax and care of nothing, dies, leaving you to never come out of the hypnotic suggestion...

Seriously, wouldn't we have all preferred THAT one? I guess you have to take it to HR, but with the best intentions of not appearing that you are going after this freak.

[Orrex]

13. You could simply get fired

That's how I dealt with mine. Problem solved.

[B Calm]

15. I agree, make him fire you and then take it to labor relations.

[Orrex]

16. I should disclaim...

My boss was indeed a controlling micromanager, but he never made veiled threats of the kind described in the OP. Clearly the current issue is of a different magnitude than my situation.

I agree with the suggestion above: document everything.

[HipChick]

18. Yes..he is a controlling micromanager...he tries to laugh off these threats

by saying he is joking...

I left this weekend, and he wanted me to call him when I got there..I didn't call and kept my phone on DND..he proceeded to call me 15 times in the space of 2hrs..

[malthaussen]

19. Saying "Hail unto you, gracious overlord...

... your wish is my command" usually works.

-- Mal

[patricia92243]

20. He is not just a control freak - he is a nut job - and a dangerous nut job at that!

[LisaLynne]

21. Yeah, that is way beyond normal.

The threat is what gets me. I had a boss in the past who would do the whole harassment on the weekends thing, but it was all about work with him. Is this guy ... like do you think maybe he's getting to the point where he wants to know where you are for stalkerish reasons? Like ... is this developing into something like that?

Also, check out this blog: askamanager.org. The woman that writes it has an AMAZING command of professional language and how to conduct conversations like the one you are going to have to have (IMHO) with HR. You could send her your question and I bet you anything she will respond, or just search through the archives for advice.

[HipChick]

23. thank you..I will check that site...this is honestly wearing me down..and all I want to do is work..

[magical thyme]

22. calling you 15 times within 2 hours on a weekend is not a joke

whatever he may claim about the email that he knows how to make people disappear.

That guy has gone way past the line of harassment. You have phone records of his calls as well as emails. Keep copies of everything, take it to HR and to his boss. This guy is so far out of line it's frightening and potentially a dangerous situation.

[ConcernedCanuk]

24. Quit

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.
.

Leave the issue alone for now, look for other employment if needed, then quit.

Don't know what you have available, or where you are at, but here in Ontario we can go to our Ministry of Labor,

so it's an external body handling the issue - and they HATE employers that abuse.

I once made a claim for $1800 in wages, employer fired me,

Ministry of Labour awarded me $10,500! - the max at that time.

I took the whole summer off before looking for work . .





CC

ps: I don't trust cops - period.

[HipChick]

27. Can I file with EEOC and still work? Quitting looks like he won..

[ConcernedCanuk]

28. EEOC link.

Last edited Mon Aug 19, 2013, 01:35 AM - Edit history (1)

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Here is their website

http://www.eeoc.gov/

I know WE here can file while still employed for sure -

ya got some homework to do!

http://www.eeoc.gov/

CC

ps: ur employer will try every which way to get rid of you once they find out you filed a claim

be prepared, be cautious.

[HipChick]

29. Your information is wrong...any biz with over 15 employees qualifies..

**Reading is fundamental***

http://www.eeoc.gov/employees/coverage_private.cfm



Coverage of Business/Private Employers
General Coverage

If you have a complaint against a business (or some other private employer) that involves race, color, religion, sex (including pregnancy), national origin, age (40 or older), disability or genetic information, the business is covered by the laws we enforce if it has 15 or more employees who worked for the employer for at least twenty calendar weeks (in this year or last).
Age Discrimination and Coverage

If your complaint involves age discrimination, the business is covered by the laws we enforce if it has 20 or more employees who worked for the company for at least twenty calendar weeks (in this year or last).
Equal Pay Act and Coverage

Virtually all employers are covered by the Equal Pay Act (EPA), which makes it illegal to pay different wages to men and women if they perform substantially equal work in the same workplace.
Deciding Coverage of Business/Private Employers

[ConcernedCanuk]

30. OOPS - sorry about that, I didn't read it thoroughly.

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.

No intention to misinform.



CC

[HipChick]

31. I've been casing that website..

things are coming to a head...

[ConcernedCanuk]

32. Keep me posted, I've had many dealings with my own government

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.
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regarding labor issues,

mostly won,

but after much time and grief.

PM me if you wish on this matter.

CC

[HipChick]

33. Things came to a head today...

He started being very bullying today.....I contacted his boss today for a meeting - with HR tomorrow.

I am so upset - I wish I could PM you, right now I can't even figure out how to do that...

[ConcernedCanuk]

34. Click the little icon that looks like an envelope beside my username

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CC

[Initech]

35. I can't, and don't handle control freaks well.

My mom is a control freak, my boss is a control freak, I had a former supervisor who was a complete control freak, and I just don't handle that at all very well.

[Myrina]

36. Leave. ASAP.

There is no way in today's workplace to effectively deal with crazy bosses. Your option is self-preservation, ie; leave.

I did it a year ago & aside from a few moments of panic here & there, I caught s better-paying contracting gig & can sleep at night.

Good luck!!

[HipChick]

37. I sent out some resumes today..

I will act as if, until..

[Myrina]

38. Best thing you can do.

Even if you "win" with HR (which is unlikely, because over the last 10 years HR's missions have shifted from being 'emplyee focused' to being 'resource-cost focused') once a Mgr has a bullseye on you, he/she will make your life hell until you - or he/she - completely leaves the company.

If you find something else, give your notice & leave in good standing so you can (try to) go back once he/she is gone. And he/she WILL be gone sooner than later, because he/she will come to represent a cost (complaints, employee attrition, etc) to HR.

And always, always, ALWAYS remember - they're the crazy asshole, not you. If your company has an EAP (Employee Assistance Program), I'd recommend taking advantage of the free, confidential counseling sessions just to get it off your chest.


GOOD LUCK!!!

[AmyStrange]

39. Why is he even still working there?

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can't believe this is the first time he's done this,

d

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[HipChick]

42. It's basically a nice little boys clubs..

and I am cramping their style..

[AmyStrange]

43. explains a lot

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I FREAKIN HATE PEOPLE LIKE THAT, sorry

I wonder if it would be worth the money to look into this guy's past

I wish you all the luck in the world grrrl

((((HUGz))))

d

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added an apostrophe to guys

[warrprayer]

40. just a thought

has it occurred to you that he might be a right wing nutcase who somehow became aware of your political leanings? IMO the phone calls are enough to get the cops involved. Restraining order gives you standing if further action is needed. Just my 2 cents.

[Yavin4]

41. How can he make you work overtime without you being compensated for it?

It's against the law in some states to work over 40 hours a week and not be paid OT. He's abusing his position.

[AmyStrange]

44. Is he married?

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If he is, would it be possible to get chummy with the wife? How about his mother?

Just curious,

d

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[HipChick]

45. Not married, no family, lives alone..seems to be few friends

[AmyStrange]

46. hmmmm

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I still say get a PI on his A$$!!

people like that don't usually have the cleanest backgrounds,

but that's just my opinion HipChick,

d

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[HipChick]

47. I think he has been in some kind of securities fraud..

and some buddy of his got him this job,but it does not give him a license to bully me..

[AmyStrange]

49. NO it doesn't

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securities fraud huh? Be careful HipChick, but it sounds like maybe things are coming to a head. Maybe not today, but it sounds like you can feel it coming soon too.

Man, I still say get someone to take a couple days and see if there's anything funny about him. That making people disappear thing makes me wonder if maybe there might be something to it that happened in his past.

Just my opinion Hip.

d

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[HipChick]

50. Now you got me wondering...for right now, he is being super extra nice..but if a dog has bit you

once, I would not give him the chance to do it again..

[AmyStrange]

51. Either he's got a bi-polar condition...

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or something has happened to change his tactics. Kind of reminds me of tv gang bosses who treat you nice in their office... just before they "off" you.

Please be careful, but don't be fooled by his niceness, just in case... but still get someone to do a back ground check on him and please keep us updated. Your best weapon at this point is to make sure other people know what's going on, besides yourself and other fellow workers.

If you can afford it, get a lawyer and give him (or her) everything you have on him,

d

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[Paulie]

48. So there you go. The reason.

He's scared of someone competent. Keep kicking ass and he'll be shown the door.