I just found out my Dad has prostate cancer.

[RiffRandell]

Last edited Thu Aug 29, 2013, 10:15 AM - Edit history (1)

My sister just called me. They caught it very early so prognosis is good. Mom is going downhill fast from Parkinson's...they are both in their early seventies.

They still consider me "the baby" so kept me out of the loop when he was getting tested as live out of state and don't want me to worry. I know they mean well but it pisses me off.

I have 2 sisters that live close that already help out with Mom but I may fly up for a couple weeks during his treatment to help as well.

Thanks for listening.

[seabeyond]

1. more aggressive prostate cancer is generally the younger man.

when an older man (like your father) gets prostate, usually it is very slow moving and treatable or even not treat because by the time it has any effect the person has passed for other reasons. i know this because the aggressive cancer is on my dads side of the family so we have paid attention to it.

the best to your father.

[RiffRandell]

4. Thank you.

I didn't know that about older people. After going through cancer with my husband, having my next door neighbor die from it at age 40 leaving behind 2 kids and my good friend across the street just beating it (hopefully) I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

It's obvious we're not the best of friends here so I really appreciate your post.

[steve2470]

2. best wishes about your parents ! nt

[RiffRandell]

5. Thanks.

I wish I could be there now.

[In_The_Wind]

3. I'm so sorry.

[RiffRandell]

6. Thanks friend.

I'm blubbering like an idiot and feel stupid....I consider myself a strong person.

I think it has to also do with everything going on in the world right now, plus I have some other shit on my plate.

[Xyzse]

7. Sorry to hear that

Glad to know it was caught early though.

[RiffRandell]

9. Thanks.

Me too.

[LiberalEsto]

8. So sorry to hear that

It's always scary news, no matter what the prognosis.

My father-in-law, who passed away earlier this year at 88 from unrelated causes, lived with prostate cancer for many years, over 10 years, I believe. It doesn't spread very fast in older people.

Hang in there, RR!

[RiffRandell]

10. I think what has me the most upset is that

my Dad is so sweet and should be enjoying his older years but my Mom's illness has taken such a toll on him and their lifestyle. I saw him in July and he looked depressed.

It's always something.

[LiberalEsto]

11. Can he get home health aides and other support?

Like a support group for spouses caring for sick partners? Just so he can get out on a regular basis and get some respite from the extremely difficult job of caregiving. Are there any grandchildren who could pitch in?

My late father-in-law took good care of my mother-in-law for many years when she developed Alzheimers disease and eventually died of it. Luckily one of my husband's five brothers is has bucks and paid for home health aides to take some of the burden off my father-in-law. Other family members did what they could. I believe he went to a support group too.

My older daughter, now in her late 20s, spent many weekends during her high school years going 200 miles to NJ with my husband to help out. She would pay cards with Grandma and listen to her tales of growing up in Brooklyn NY (often repeatedly). This allowed my husband time to take his dad out for a walk, do grocery shopping and other errands, go to Mass, or visit a park to relieve some of the anxiety and strain. My daughter got a great deal out of her close relationship with her grandparents too. They went up there nearly every other weekend.

[Aristus]

13. That must have been difficult news to take, Riff.

I know you are very anxious right now...

[Phentex]

14. Sorry to hear it, Riff...

Wish him well!

[Bertha Venation]

15. I'm sorry to hear it, Riff.

My boss has it too and has told me that in many cases the prognosis is usually very good.

I'll be thinking of you and your dad in the days to come. And your mom and your sisters. Best to you.

[hedgehog]

16. Be very careful - aggressive treatment at your father's age can be far, far worse

than the cancer itself!

[bluesbassman]

17. Sorry to hear that, but the early detection is a good thing.

My SO's father is in his early 80's and he just recently went through it with flying colors so there is every reason to be confident your dad will too! Best to you and your dad as you navigate the process.

[HappyMe]

18. Oh no. I'm sorry to hear that.

It is a good thing they caught this early. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts.

[DebJ]

19. An ex-beau of mine had prostate cancer in his 40s.

It was caught early, the size of a dime. He had radiation treatments but recovered quite well.

[hedgehog]

21. I'm not even sure if it is certain whether the prostate cancer some men get before 60

is the same disease as that most get after 70. The early onset cancer is far, far more aggressive. Most late onset (normal onset?) prostate
cancers would never be found unless someone goes looking for them. Some researchers are seriously discussing not using the PSA test in patients over 70. The cancers found then cause fewer problems than the knowledge that the patient has cancer!

http://www.kevinmd.com/blog/2013/05/urologist-approaches-psa-testing.html

[joeybee12]

20. Sorry to hear that, but the good news is they caught it early...

Good news for a full recovery.

[RiffRandell]

22. Sincere thanks to everyone.

Makes me appreciate DU and everyone here so much....I know I am in your thoughts.

I've been trying to keep busy all day. I'm the type of person who pretty much shuts down emotionally when I get bad news...I cry but don't like talking.

The cancer thing put me over the edge today although I firmly believe he will be fine....I've been depressed about Syria, the wildfires, the dolphins dying, I have another sister who is hospitalized for addiction (again) which is so hard for my parents and all of us (I also have an older brother)... always thinking about my Mom...and some other shit I don't even want to get into right now.

I just keep reminding myself that there are people on DU, in this country and world that have far worse problems and I should consider myself fortunate. I'm totally serious.

Thank you so much everyone.