There are times when many must try to find happiness without love in your life.

[Lady Freedom Returns]

There are many that have loved and loss. Many that are in such pain that they don't even want to think about love anymore.

Some loss love due to death, other for reasons they don't understand. But we have to go on. But if you have had that one heart song you know. When you have had that and loses it, you have to find happiness without that love.

[In_The_Wind]

1. Take my word for it: it is possible.

[Carolina]

2. K&R

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

3. Another thread in the lounge reminded me

that my life is necessarily incomplete and meaningless because I don't have love in my life. I had forgotten because I thought I was happy with all the interests, hobbies and activities I'm involved with. Silly me; guess I have to remember that I'm just a stereotype - a lonely old lady with cats and an otherwise empty existence.

[Lady Freedom Returns]

4. That was the one that got me to write this OP.

Many have had that love, but lost it. There are many reasons that the loss has happened. They, my self included, must find happiness where we can.

To be told we need it hurts. We don't have it anymore. We need to move on from the pain. To be told that we can't because we need it does not help matters.

[RebelOne]

8. I have lost that love twice, but it was my fault.

It took a while each time, but I have moved on.

[Xipe Totec]

5. I think the reality is a little more subtle

In order to be happy in the company of others, you must first learn to be happy by yourself. Only then can you share your happiness with others and by sharing it, multiply your happiness.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

6. yes, happiness starts from within and radiates outward. be happy because or be happy in spite

Last edited Fri Aug 30, 2013, 01:07 PM - Edit history (1)

of the circumstances but, choose happiness. it is a choice and a conscious effort. imo.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

7. I think that's exactly right.

The other thread seemed to suggest that you can't be happy unless you have a "love interest" in your life. That's a depressing thought for the many people who, for whatever reason, don't have that, but it's also not true. Whatever happiness you have, you must find within yourself, and you can do that in may ways. If you count on other people to make you happy you will probably be disappointed.

[Xipe Totec]

10. That is the lesson that took me 40 years to learn:

If you count on other people to make you happy you will probably be disappointed.

I had to overcome a deep, deep infatuation that lasted for four decades and through a failed 30 year marriage before I was able to finally let go and accept the loss. Only then was I able to be happy and complete again, and able to accept and love again.

[Xyzse]

9. That is a constant

Seriously, have to make yourself happy before going in to a relationship.

Can't expect another person to make you happy. If you're not happy and they are not happy, it just is a merging of issues that results in an exponential growth of drama.

Even when in a relationship, you have to be able to make yourself happy with your own separate activities. Otherwise, you'd tire each other out and create more friction.

Being able to find meaning and enjoyment in different pursuits outside of a relationship tends to rejuvinate and give more strength to deal with one, since love and relationships mean compromise.

[Boomerproud]

11. I've learned to live without love, but I still need company.

You can learn from books, music TV etc., but they are no substitute for people. All of my childhood friends have gotten married and moved on, necessarily, with their own lives.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

12. Then you need new friends

but not in singles' groups, which are dreadful organizations of people who have nothing in common except being single. I attended ONE meeting (an activity fair) of the largest singles' group in Minneapolis, and when I found out that the "fine dining" group went to Applebee's and Outback and the film group went to see blockbusters at megaplexes, I knew it wasn't the organization for me.

Join some community activity, whatever you're interested in.

As a self-employed person for twenty years, I learned long ago that people aren't just going to miraculously show up at my door.

When I moved back to Minneapolis, I got involved in political activities, joined a church choir, volunteered for a meal program for low-income youth, and started taking exercise classes at the local YWCA. All have led to friendships.

In the past, I've made friends taking classes, participating in community theater, and joining a REAL movie group (one that saw whatever was opening at the local art house and discussed it over dinner).

I enjoy my alone time with books and movies, but when you work out of your home, you really need to make an effort to get out before you turn into a hermit.