If you must become a thief, what kind will you be?

[struggle4progress]

6 votes, 0 passes | Time left: Unlimited
	Take candy from babies
	0 (0%)
	Divert international multi-ton cocaine shipments
	4 (67%)
	Grab city manhole covers and fireplugs
	0 (0%)
	Steal famous paintings from museums
	0 (0%)
	Train robbery
	0 (0%)
	Defraud the senile elderly of their life savings
	0 (0%)
	Shoplift stuff like thumbtacks and chewing gum
	1 (17%)
	White-collar embezzlement
	1 (17%)
	Smash car windows to grab the GPS systems
	0 (0%)
	Borrow cool cars for month-long joyriding
	0 (0%)
	0 DU members did not wish to select any of the options provided.
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[Chan790]

1. Other.

I'd steal and wield useful information and documents.

Everybody powerful has skeletons if they had to put a price tag on they'd value worth cubic feet of treasure.

Information is power, power is the truest wealth.

[Xyzse]

14. This!

Otherwise, I'd be a damn fixer.

[NYC_SKP]

2. I would steal hunger and sadness from little children all around the world.

And then I'd send it all to a place far away.

[In_The_Wind]

9. _

[BlueJazz]

3. If I HAD to choose what you posted, I'd steal Thumbtacks and Gum and give them to the poor.

Sorta' like a lousy Robin Hood.

"Oh No...
"What ?
"Here come's that cheap-ass Robin Hood dude again...always acting like a big deal savior"
"Shit..again?....I swear, if he offers me some of those tacks and gum, I'll stick them up his ass.
"I'm with ya'...Why doesn't the fucker ever steal something good ...like a grill and some Porterhouse steaks??
"Fuck No...Tacks and Gum..big deal"

[Behind the Aegis]

4. souls

[Tuesday Afternoon]

5. in the night.

[Adsos Letter]

6. Kisses.

I would steal kisses.

[Nevernose]

7. I'd give subprime mortgages to people

While at the same time insuring myself against the loss, and then rating the loans at AAA quality before selling them off to suckers like old people's pensions and city governments. And if I ever get caught, the people on Capitol Hill that I've bribed over the years will just give me more money, and then I'll do it all over again.

If you're going to steal, steal big.

[petronius]

8. I would steal hearts

Mostly from mortuaries, but I'd hit the occasional medical lab or cemetery, just for the variety...

[In_The_Wind]

10. Stealin'_back_to_my_old_time_used_to_be kind of thief.

[Gidney N Cloyd]

11. Lupin thief.

&noredirect=1

[Neoma]

12. Since I'm an artist, I have to say paintings.

Thieving and art go hand and hand.

[pipi_k]

13. Turdburglar

Because it's a funny sounding word.

[kentauros]

18. SPAULDING!

[Shampoobra]

15. COCAINE! I want the cocaine

I mean, I didn't like it the few times I tried it (thank God!), but it sure is a pretty drug.

So I vote we steal the cocaine and then find the adult trust fund children of the corporate titans we stole it from, and if the trust funders are making no contributions to society, but instead living off their parents' money, we reward them with big bags of free cocaine. Is that wrong?

[datasuspect]

17. i hate cocaine

i do like the way it smells though.

[datasuspect]

16. thieves are lower than shit

two steps up from a child molester in my book.

[kentauros]

19. So long as it includes a Tangerine Dream soundtrack to my every move,

then it would have to be this kind:

[Arugula Latte]

20. Cat burglar. I cover other people's kitties!

[Bucky]

22. "covet"?

Kittens don't get that cold. Also, given them blankets isn't a crime.

[Arugula Latte]

23. Oh, yeah, covet ... dern bad typin fingurs!

[Bucky]

21. Candy from babies, but only from ugly orphan babies.

[RobinA]

24. Jewels!

Paintings are too hard to hide. I want jewels. I love jewels. Colored stones and a diamond now and then. I don't even care if they are set, I just want to keep them in my safe and take them out and look at them in just the right light so it perfectly sets off the sparkle.

[Broken_Hero]

25. Other:

run for political office and win, then siphon buck loads of $$ from my constituents, and blame the Devil for everything.

[tonekat]

26. We have a winner.

Then have someone ghost-write a book about the whole thing.

[Kaleva]

27. "Woman arrested for allegedly stealing kittens"

That's the title of a local news article published 9/10/13. I live in an economically depressed area and there isn't much worth stealing around here.

[IrishEyes]

28. I would be Robin Hood

I couldn't be any other kind of thief. Many members of my very Irish family are police officers. I know, Irish police officers, what a shock.

[jmowreader]

29. Banker

They can steal as much as they like, and they NEVER go to jail!

[Demo_Chris]

30. I'd go religion, and trade post-mortem "salvation" for cash.

[Fearless]

31. Mmm candy...