Love will make a person do some very interesting things...

[Javaman]

sometimes, horrible horrible things.

My Girlfriend read the now infamous "50 shades of grey". She said and I quote, "every guy should read this".

the different things my GF and I read are miles apart. She loves true crime and mystery novels.

Me, I'm Mr. History/sociology with a sprinkling of Scifi.

I will throw in a classic from time to time.

Anyway, through various sources I had heard that "50" (which is how I will refer to it), was basically a trash novel.

Now, don't get me wrong, trash novels do have their merit.

Everyone needs a twinkie now and then. I will once in a while indulge in the random zombie novel.

So, out of love for my GF, I figured I'd give it a shot. Now, my time being fairly limited for reading, I got the audio version off of youtube.

So when doing various mundane tasks at work or around the house, I put on my iPod and try to listen to a bit of it.

Right now, I'm roughly at chapter 4.

Frankly, I didn't think it possible for a book to make someone physically ill. I'm not talking, "oh I ate something that didn't quite settle right" (must be done in an English accent, don't ask me why, it just sound better)

No, I'm talking bubonic plague. I feel absolutely horrible. It's as if brain cells are leaving in protest and my body will such down out of spite.

Insipid, vapid, pedantic are a few that, right off the bat, come to mind when I describe it.

Now, don't get me wrong, perhaps I'm completely missing something. Perhaps, I just don't "get it".

I'm completely willing to confess that, but also, aside from the writing being completely stilted, the reader of the audiobook sounds like something out of the San Fernando Valley circa 1981. "Like Oh my Gawwwwd!"

But being the good boyfriend, I will continue to suffer through this drivel.

Why am I writing this? to vent. Really, that's it.

Cheers!

P.S. Check out this hilarious review of "50"

http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/340987215

[Tuesday Afternoon]

1. I couldn't make it past the first chapter. Go get the Ann Rice retelling of the

Fairy Tales and give them to your girlfriend.

[In_The_Wind]

2. The book didn't get rave reviews. Think about all you and your GF will be able to discuss about it.

[a la izquierda]

3. The book is awful writing and boring sex.

Yuck.

I don't remember how many times I rolled my eyes as I read it. But my eyes hurt at the end.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

5. the book was so boring I didn't even get to the sex part. The writing was horrible and already

I felt contempt for Ana and by the time I met Christian they were both so one dimensional, with such paper thin personalities that I know paper dolls that could have better sex.

[a la izquierda]

6. I kept reading, waiting for the good stuff my sister told me about.

She lied.

[Vashta Nerada]

4. My ex wanted me to read Twilight and I refused.

And with good reason.

That's not why we're not still together, though.

Good luck. You're stronger than I could ever be.

[jakeXT]

7. Who reads it ?

[Xyzse]

8. Buahahahahahahahahaha....

I read it too.
I wanted to thwap her upside the head each time she said "Holy Cow".

I agree that the main characters in that book are failures as human beings but ah well.
This is an awesome gif by the way.


This made me laugh hard enough to almost get me in trouble:

Sexual dependence, thy name is Anastasia Steele. We're supposed to believe that this girl has gone 21 years neither having had sex nor masturbating? Hm. Well, Christian's supposed sexual prowess makes a bit more sense now, as does Ana's assertion that he has a giant bologna wand. She has absolutely zero experience, and she's never once had anything "in there". Thing could be the size of a baby carrot and she'd still be like, "Oh, my glob! How is it ever going to fit?!"

[pipi_k]

11. NO!

Please tell me it didn't really contain the phrase "giant bologna wand"

hahahahahahah!!!!

[Blue_Tires]

9. You fell for the "every guy" -ruse

which subconsciously plants the implication that you're *not* a real guy if you don't read it...

[Javaman]

10. To be fair, I try and push some of my history books on her.

And she tries here best to get through them without falling asleep.
LOL

[WinkyDink]

12. As a lover of both true-crime, mystery, AND history books, I don't find them "miles apart"!

[Javaman]

14. point taken. nt

[WinkyDink]

15. I should have said more. To me, history IS a mystery, like with the JFK assassination. But even with

simply determining the accuracy and meaning of records, how to use them, etc., the unfolding of history is like a good mystery!

Ha! I taught British Lit., but all I wanted to read was Agatha Christie and Churchill!

[Lex]

13. Most people think it sucks.

I stayed far away from it based on its reviews.

[nolabear]

16. My reaction: If that girl bites her lip or rolls her eyes one more time I'll slap her myself.

Awful, awful, AWFUL writing. I slogged through because I was increasingly stunned at what I was seeing. When's the good stuff going to happen? Where's the great depiction of dom/sub sex? I'm not into it in particular but heck, transgression can be fun and stimulating. It was torture, all right. Mine. Wouldn't read the next two on a bet.

There must be better out there.