My wife is on a diet and has been badgering me to finish the lemon cake so she can watch.

[rug]

I didn't sign up for this.

[In_The_Wind]

1. Enjoy it to the up most.

Voyeurism can be fun too.

[rug]

3. It's not like she wants me to eat it naked.

She just wants to watch me eat it . . . . slowly.

[In_The_Wind]

9. One tasty morsel at a time.

uh huh

[Baitball Blogger]

12. I had a Walter Mitty moment with an entire display of cupcakes and ganaches

I visualized that I mauled every tray and just licked off the food that stuck to my face.

[rug]

13. TMI!

It was just a piece of lemon cake!

[Baitball Blogger]

14. Never get between a woman and a sugar craving.

You have been warned.

[Brigid]

2. I think she wants you to eat it before she does.

[rug]

5. No she's been very good on it.

I'm just getting sick of her pointing at things and telling me to eat it.

[graywarrior]

4. That reminds me, there's pumpkin pie in the fridge

And I'm in PJs

[rug]

6. You skype?

[graywarrior]

7. Fuck no!

[rug]

8. Just as well. The lemon cake is all gone.

[graywarrior]

10. That was fast!

[rug]

11. That's what she said.

[graywarrior]

15. What'd you expect?

[struggle4progress]

16. I might have warned you if you'd asked my advice before you rushed so carelessly into wedlock

with yet another woman who obviously has profound psychological conflicts about lemon cake

Also, if I were a psychiatrist I'd been able to explain to you that such a condition must be deeply rooted in an ambivalence dating back to her childhood and could provide you with an estimated cost for the hundreds of sessions required to free the patient from her irrational fixation on lemon cake

Unfortunately you've already eaten the cake

[rug]

17. I think it's just vicarious eating.

Sometimes she just watches the Food Channel with an occasional whimper.

If I ever quit smoking I'll be in the same zone.

[struggle4progress]

21. Well, you're entitled to your opinion. I, on the other hand, once almost enrolled

in the doctoral program in psychology at the internationally recognized University of Lost Springs correspondence school, so I think I actually know what I'm talking about

[lame54]

18. So, your wife likes to watch...

you become Rush Limbaugh

[Yavin4]

19. Give it away to someone or throw it out.

And join your wife on the diet

[cliffordu]

20. I'd get some headgear.

It could get rough. Don't look like you're enjoying it too much.....

[IrishAyes]

22. Would she be just as happy watching me eat the lemon cake? I'd gladly remove that

burden from your patient shoulders. Wouldn't even charge a dime, and I'd bring my own fork and napkin.

Regardless, maybe your wife would enjoy my method of weight loss, learned from no other than the great Dr. Oz himself. Combination eating - have at least one day a week, preferably two, when you pretty much pig out. If two, separate equally with other days of very restricted eating. Always fast for 12 hours overnight to give your digestive system a good rest and reset your metabolism.

Oh, and if you don't like breakfast, forget that junk about it being the most important meal of the day. What I do around 10 a.m. is to take a single Konjac root (glucomannan) capsule with at least 12 ounces of water. That causes the Konjac root powder to swell up to many times its normal size, leaving you quite full until lunch for no more than a tiny few calories.

I've easily - though slowly - lost 55 lbs that way over the last year at most. I still eat exactly what I want, just less of it and on a rotating schedule. After a terrible car wreck in which I could've died but limped away with a TBI, for the next several years I could barely walk at all. Didn't know what I was doing half the time, except I remembered how to cook, unfortunately. One day I woke up and realized what was going on, so I started what I call a no-willpower diet. Still got a few pounds to go, but have absolute confidence of reaching my goal weight. There's no way a small-boned woman even at my age and height - 5' - should weigh over 120 TOPS.

If I may be so bold or rash as to say so, your dear wife's not doing herself any favors by NOT eating that lemon cake.