Well, I've just come back from my annual "time travel to the future" vacation. Ask me anything.

[Bucky]

This year I went to the year 2033, I just flew back in... and boy, are my quark-fusion descelerators tired! (You may not be laughing now, but that joke will kill in the 2030s!). Anyway the end of the year 2033 is all focused on the pre-Oscars buzz for Molly Cyrus's Hillary Clinton biopic. And of course the Democrats are about to secure a generation-long lock on the Electoral College by legally arranging for zombies to have the same voting rights as corporations received under the Christie Administration in 2019.

The new craze among kids is "spelfing"--which is the act of making noise by pinching your cheeks and pulling them back and forth away from your mouth until it makes a disgusting slopping sound. Frankly, I don't know why we didn't come up with a word for that long ago, but the kids are doing that instead of applauding at live theatre events, which the adult find incredibly annoying, but they have nothing to complain about, being the generation that never got over the whole sagging thing (not to be confused with the "hole sagging" craze of the 2080s, but let's not spoil the surprises).

Oh, listen to me chatter. Surely yall have some questions for me about the fabulous future that awaits us in the year 2033. I'm here to help...

[Callmecrazy]

1. Did you happen to check...

The archive of the Powerball winning numbers for Dec. 11, 2013? I could use a little help.
We're pals, right?

[Bucky]

5. Yep, actually.

Just give me a couple of days to unpack and go through my daily gratitude journal and I'll post that for ya.

[antiquie]

2. Has whorled peas been perfected?

[Bucky]

8. Have

Sorry, but in the future, the Grammar Police are out in force and are the most efficient armed branch of the Department of Housing, Health, and Homeland Security.

[antiquie]

9. No hay helado para grammar nanny.

[Callmecrazy]

3. Does the Second Amendment

still allow us to arm bears?

[Bucky]

6. Guns don't kill people

Bears kill people.

[Incitatus]

4. What stocks should I buy? nt

[Bucky]

7. Vegetable and free range chicken stock.

But low sodium unless you do marathon jogging or Bikhram yoga.

[hunter]

10. I see you've avoided the collapse or singularity futures.

Whenever I visit the future I end up in some Canadian refugee camp or a place where the world government, justice system, and economy are all run by Google.

The Google world is not so bad, actually. Three days a week the Google Taxi or Bus picks you up and takes you to some kind of interesting work, some kind of drudge work, or locks you in the car with unbreakable windows and drops you off at the police station.

The Google Intelligence is like Santa Claus, it all depends if you've been naughty or nice.

[Bucky]

12. Oh, you're one of them

always complaining, always questioning authority, always asking for more oatmeal.

Try being a 1%er instead. Life's a dream then.

[benld74]

11. Am I having a pleasant retirement?

[Bucky]

13. Uh, yeah, sure. Okay. Just stay off the freeway next October 14th and you should be fine.