Offical signs you are now an old fart:

[hedgehog]

Looking all over for the glasses on top of your head.

[pipi_k]

1. Velcro sneakers...

And not caring if anyone sees you in the drugstore buying denture adhesive, laxative, jock itch cream, and $9.99 plastic reading glasses.

All at the same time.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

2. Wearing mom jeans with elastic waistbands.

Wearing Crocs everywhere and not caring who sees you.
Having to pee pretty much all the time, except when you're peeing.

[RebelOne]

5. I wear the Pajama Jeans, which are elastic everywhere. n/t

[blueamy66]

3. How about looking for one of the 15 reading glasses that are scattered around the house?

nt

[RebelOne]

6. Yup, that is what I do, but I am hoping

that with the cataract surgery I had yesterday, I won't have to use reading glasses anymore. I had surgery on one eye and will have surgery on the other on March 4. It will be wonderful to see clearly again.

[blueamy66]

7. Good luck.

I'm stuck.

I wear contacts and readers.

:sigh"

[RebelOne]

10. Thanks. I am hoping for the best. n/t

[Boomerproud]

23. Had my surgery a year ago and it was the best thing to happen to me in long time.

My eyesight was terrible and now I'm 20/30 and can read the computer better with my glasses off.

Be sure to wear your patch as long as you can and don't forget those eye drops.

Best of luck to you!

[Arugula Latte]

37. I still can't find the damn things when I need a pair!!

[blueamy66]

38. I'm with ya

it's getting ridiculous

[sarge43]

4. Getting out of the comfy chair (grunt mandatory) to get something in the other room.

In other room, can't remember why you came in here.

[hedgehog]

8. Yeah, the grunt is a good sign.

[840high]

13. Every day.

[Moondog]

9. I live in polo shirts and shorts.

"Big boy" pants are the exception, and not the rule. I live in Florida, but still....

[texanwitch]

11. I am so there.

I do what I want and I do not give a damn.

[hedgehog]

12. I wear sneakers and blue jeans to Church.

which means I now officially have no need to dress up, ever!

[texanwitch]

15. My idea of dress up is my new pair of blue jeans.

Getting old has its benefits.

[hedgehog]

16. Or the jeans with no small rips.......

[texanwitch]

19. That will do to.

I have two dress up tshirts.

[madinmaryland]

14. Keeping your reading glasses on the tip of your nose...

ALL FUCKING DAY.. just in case you may need them.

[DebJ]

17. I need to have my glasses on to find my glasses. Catch-22

Fortunately I have a lot of pairs:
1 good pair
1 older pair with a few scratches and ALMOST strong enough
3 pairs of readers

Usually I can find at least one pair, and use them to find the ones I am looking for.

I need readers for the computer because my bifocals don't work with my computer screen.
Drives me nuts. I'm always leaving my good glasses at the computer then trying to watch TV
with the readers on, or vice versa.

[DebJ]

18. Having to put on your artificial body parts before you leave the house

Glasses, teeth, hearing aides, whatever, it mounts up over time.
Walker...........wheelchair.............

[edbermac]

20. You misspell the word "official"

[hedgehog]

21. Get off my lawn!

[riderinthestorm]

22. Mandatory afternoon naps. 'Nuff said nt

[chknltl]

24. When you lose track of where you stashed stuff away....

...in order not to lose track of it.

[frwrfpos]

25. getting up from laying on the floor doing a tile job

and making noises at ever bend and stretch.

[progressoid]

26. Regular ear hair grooming.

[No Vested Interest]

27. Buying a no-style swimsuit from Lands End catalogue because it's on sale.

And I don't care that people think I'm too old and large to be in swimming pool.

[Archae]

28. One word: Trifocals.

I have them.

[Duer 157099]

29. Worse:

Looking for the glasses that are already ON your face. I do that more often than I care to admit.

[hedgehog]

36. How about wearing contact lenses, then raising your hand to adjust the glasses

that aren't on your face!

[sarge43]

30. Migrating body hair

It leaves the places where you want it and settles in places where you don't.

[In_The_Wind]

31. Been there, done that. Here's mine:

Forgetting where I put the small package of hearing aid batteries that I bought a few weeks ago.

[idendoit]

32. That's Official Minnesota Geezer to you.

Been there, done that can't remember.

[BarbaRosa]

33. It's a lot noisier to pick something up off the floor.

[sarge43]

34. One more

An appointment with your health care providers is the high point of your social calendar

You're on a first name basis at your local pharmacy

[hedgehog]

44. How about knowing the pharmacy phone number by heart?

[sarge43]

45. Well, that's the contact list on the cell is for

On the other, starting at contact list, trying to remember who you were going to call

[raccoon]

35. Looking around for your cell phone while you're talking on it. nt

[mysuzuki2]

39. When you start agreeing with Archie

and wondering why the Meathead doesn't STFU and get a job!

[steve2470]

40. actually enjoying the AARP newsletters nt

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

41. For me, it's having a hard time opening anything

From the tops of the bottles of juice that now seem welded on, to the tops of aspirin bottles or vitamins, it seems to me that they've been designed to only be removable with cutting tools. Any device wrapped in plastic or other types of packaging now just thwarts my efforts to open it and I didn't notice that of packaging in the old days. It must be me.

[pink-o]

42. Freaking out cuz you suddenly can't find the keys you just put on the table

Only to realize you'd already picked them up, and they're in your hand.

Did I win?

[IrishAyes]

43. I think everyone wins this thread, just for making me feel so much better about myself.

Believe it or not, I might be happier now than I was decades ago. Retired, small but reliable check, more full of sass than ever. Though they say it's a sure sign of advanced age when the cheeks you want to pinch are on either side of a nose.