Name a health-altered version of a traditional food product that's just not worth it.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

Mine has to be no-salt potato chips. Bland. Tasteless. Either my potato chips are a woefully unhealthy but delicious mix of deep fried potato, salt and grease, or I skip them altogether and find some healthier alternative that doesn't taste like Styrofoam.

Baked potato chips fall in this category as well. Sorry.

[ret5hd]

1. vegan cheese.

i tried. really, i tried hard. but that stuff ain't worth it.

[RebelOne]

23. No way. I am a vegetarian, but I must have the real thing in dairy products. n/t

[Arkansas Granny]

2. Fat-free cheese. The ones I've tasted mights as well have been plastic.

[gvstn]

12. Especially cream cheese. I wouldn't buy either of these...

[Chan790]

14. Really.

If you want a lower-fat cream cheese, just use Neufchâtel cheese.

It's available most places where cream cheese is...often from the same brands in identical packaging. Before they came up with weird lab-created low-fat cream cheese...it was the low-fat Philly.

[ailsagirl]

55. I'll tell you one thing that is BETTER than the regular variety

Honestly, for those of you who like potato chips, the reduced fat version is MUCH better
than the regular chips because the latter are so greasy. THESE little babies have less fat
AND taste better. And I'm a potato chip eater from WAY back.

(But only for the plain chips-- I don't think Ruffles offer reduced fat in any of the other flavors.)

[Rhiannon12866]

53. I totally agree! If you're going to eat cheese, then just eat cheese...

[malthaussen]

3. If you have access to Utz potato chips, you should try them.

Less salt than most brands, FWIW.

Most junk food with the junk taken out tastes like junk.


-- Mal

[KamaAina]

19. I'm pretty sure Utz is a northeastern thing

Tommy's in Flori-duh.

[KamaAina]

20. Turns out they do go down into northern FL

Jax and the panhandle.

http://utzsnacks.com/?heritage=3#slide106

And Louisiana, which is ridiculous, because Zapp's owns the Pelican State.

http://www.zapps.com/

[F4lconF16]

21. Their pretzels are excellent.

We get multiple containers shipped over from the East coast every year for my dad at Christmas. I love their sourdough ones in particular.

[kwassa]

38. Utz chips have more saturated fat than other chips.

That is why they taste so good.

Crab chips!

[valerief]

4. Why not just eat potatoes? nt

[Tommy_Carcetti]

5. Potatoes are a funny thing for me.

I like them mashed. I like them fried (despite all my better judgment).

Scalloped? Meh. Boiled? Meh.

Baked? Just not a fan of the baked potato. Never have been.

I much prefer a baked sweet potato over a baked regular potato.

[valerief]

11. Why not try a baked potahto instead? nt

[Tommy_Carcetti]

13. Let's just call the whole thing off. nt

[valerief]

16. You can't end it like this. We need the music.

[pipi_k]

6. Just about any

healthful version of an unhealthful food tastes like shit, IMO.


Plus they're so loaded with chemicals and synthetic crap that the human body wasn't made to digest that they're really not all that healthy anyway.

I've told Mr Pipi, who does the grocery shopping, not to bring home any so-called "diet" or "healthy" food unless he wants to eat it all himself. I refuse to touch it.

[Paulie]

7. Lard

[cyberswede]

8. turkey bacon

I'm sure it's fine for those who like it. But under no circumstances should it be considered bacon.

[RobinA]

46. Turkey Anything

except actual turkey the bird in its god-intended form.

[yellowdogintexas]

65. I do not like turkey bacon at all. if I am going to eat bacon give me the real thing nt

[WhiteAndNerdy]

9. Clam chowder

I once accidentally grabbed a can of Campbell's low-fat, low-salt variety of clam chowder (I think they call that line of their soups "Health Request&quot . It was seriously one of the most disgusting things I've ever tasted in my life.

[surrealAmerican]

22. All their low-fat soups taste horrible.

I don't know why exactly, but they can't even even seem to make a healthy vegetable soup that tastes decent, and that's pretty easy to do at home from scratch.

[LiberalElite]

10. salt free pretzels nt

[Chan790]

15. Low-carb tortillas.

I'm not sure what monster invented these but they taste of despair and dryer lint.

[3catwoman3]

31. Oh, that is an exquisitely disgusting...

...description. I hope to soon have the opportuniy to use it for something.

[Arugula Latte]

17. Fake butter products like "Country Crock." That should be called "Country Crock of Shit"

'cuz that is exactly what it tastes like.

[A Simple Game]

24. The "good" fake butters cost as much as butter.

You can use half as much butter and get the same flavor as you can with margarine. You are better off flavor-wise, health-wise, and financially to use real butter. I have seen very little difference in flavor between brand name butters and store brands, go for the cheapest in most cases.

[Arugula Latte]

27. Yep, I never ever bought into the margarine/fake butter scam.

Have always used real butter, and always will, but one time I did buy some fake stuff just to give it a try. I couldn't believe people actually eat that crapola. It tasted worse than what I imagine wallpaper paste tastes like.

[Xipe Totec]

63. To me, Country Crock evokes images of a small wooden shack with a moon cut into the door. nt

[KamaAina]

18. Baked potato chips* aren't really chips.

They're a mashup of potato flakes, like Pringle's.

[rug]

25. Skim milk.

[steve2470]

26. dietetic "no real sugar" syrup

God help me if I ever develop Type 2 diabetes. I'll have a big adjustment to make !

[antiquie]

28. Vegan hotdogs

[Chan790]

34. ...or as I prefer to call them "gelatinous non-gelatin extruded fake-meat-and-smoke-flavored tubes."

Just say "No!" to

[antiquie]

37. But, but they bought them just for me --

those "gelatinous non-gelatin extruded fake-meat-and-smoke-flavored tubes."

[kwassa]

39. Trader Joe's fake Italian sausage is delicious

[antiquie]

41. Thanks, how's the texture?

[kwassa]

45. excellent!

[mucifer]

29. paleo diet

[sharp_stick]

30. Low Fat Mayonnaise

The shit with the green lid. My wife picked it up once because our kids like to drown their food in mayo but not even they'd touch this crap. It's totally inedible.

[RobinA]

47. I Have a Friend

who likes to use these low fat fats. I avoid them at all costs. I'm actually scared of her butter substitute. I'm afraid it might be that stuff that came out awhile back that had as one of its side effects oily diarrhea. I eat rolls dry at her house.

[MADem]

52. I like the one with the OLIVE OIL green lid (different color).

It tastes like mayo home-made in Europe.

[DebJ]

57. The sodium levels in low fat mayonnaise are astronomical, too. n/t

[DavidG_WI]

32. All of it

Seriously, all of it is nasty, theres not a single good tasting diet food. As a fat guy losing weight every last diet thing I've ever tasted is disgusting, however I can eat all the vegetables in the world.

It surprises people just how much I actually like healthy real food, like when I make a salad, which has no cheese, croûtons, eggs, ham etc, just like 50 different kinds of greens and salad veg with my own home made honey mustard dressing, which I make using local honey and a mix of deli style spicy brown and Düsseldorf mustard, with a cap full of apple cider vinegar and a little turmeric, all added in an old mustard squeeze bottle to taste, I've never bothered to measure out anything other then the cider vinegar which is added with the first measure of honey just to help get it thinned out enough to mix with the mustard by just shaking the bottle, the rest gets added together by taste and mixed together without the need to add any more vinegar. Tastes great on pork and chicken as either a marinade or as a sauce, also good on sweet potato fries or turkey sandwiches.

[DebJ]

56. My husband is addicted to a salad dressing I make.

I took another recipe that was supposed to have vidalia onions blended into it...we don't have a blender, so I left them out, then adjusted it to taste...
which meant doubling the honey.

2 tbsp apple cider vinegar
2 tbsp dijon mustard (I only like it with Grey Poupon; different dijons give a different taste...store brand made it taste awful)
1/2 cup canola oil
6 tbsps honey

Makes a good dip too. On the sweet side with just a bit of tang, no hots.

[eShirl]

33. tofurkey

I even like other things like salt-free and baked potato chips, turkey bacon, various brands of veggie burgers, vegenaise... but this shit was just flat out disgusting.

[wyldwolf]

35. gluten-free spelt bread

It crumbles, doesn't toast and just try spreading something on it.

[magical thyme]

36. Snackwells. Anyting by Snackwells. I think that's that they're called.

Those cupcakes that came out when TPTB decided that all fat is bad, so they came out with these piles of sugar and white flour. That it turns out is far more likely to give you high cholesteral and high triglycerides and kill you faster than good old fashioned lardy cupcakes or whatever.

They taste gross and are reeeeelly bad for you. Tried one once a few decades ago.

[Gidney N Cloyd]

40. Lean Pockets.

It's hard to believe they could make Hot Pockets taste any worse but somehow Lean Pockets did it. Now instead of tasting like a greasy fatty salty cheesy-meat-type product sandwich, it tastes like a SPOILED greasy fatty salty cheesy-meat-type product sandwich.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

42. Unbelievable things like

fat-free sour cream and fat-free half-and-half.

I shudder to think of what they are substituting for the dairy fat.

If I'm going to indulge in something, I indulge in the real thing: real butter, real whipped cream, real bacon, real cheese. The substitutes are NASTY. I refuse to let margarine, Kool Whip, turkey bacon, or soy cheese pass my lips.

[azurnoir]

44. ever faced down this stuff?

first off no it's not "'better than cream cheese", I offered some to my dog who eats darn near anything she sniffed it and the thought bubble floating over her head seemed to be
"who are you trying to fool?"

[begin_within]

51. I buy fat-free half-and-half all the time

They use dry nonfat milk powder in it to make it seem "creamier," in the same way that nonfat frozen yogurt uses it. Unfortunately, they also add corn syrup, carrageenan for thickening and assorted chemicals, so it's probably just as fattening and unhealthy as the real thing. I'm fooling myself into thinking I'm buying a healthier alternative.

[yellowdogintexas]

66. absolutely, I think of all the chemicals I am getting in these supposedly healthy

things... I want reall half and half and real bacon and real cheese. Fat free sour cream is an abomination. Fat free cheese does not melt


I have found however that fat free Cool Whip is not bad at all but I don't eat it often

[azurnoir]

43. Fat free mayo , and creamy type salad dressings

which IMO have the texture of whipped mucus

[MissB]

48. Vegan Twinkie.

Seriously, no point. I suppose there must be some animal product in the original Twinkie, but I doubt it.

[tabbycat31]

49. Non dairy creamer (ie Coffee Mate)

It's HFCS and partially hydrogenated soybean oil. I HATE HATE HATE HATE it when establishments expect you to use this in place of milk in your coffee. Nasty shit.

Not sure if that qualifies as a 'diet' product or not, but also reminds me of the bread my parents used to force on us as kids. It was Pepperidge Farm 'Light Style" and it was about as tasty as a cardboard box. Ok I think the cardboard box is probably tastier.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

59. Usually, it's for on the cheap complimentary coffees.

Like waiting rooms at car places and stuff.

I agree, not a fan of non-dairy creamer. I like milk.

[tabbycat31]

62. I've seen it a lot at travel plazas

And I have walked out of them before without buying coffee as a result (and I often ask the clerk if they have real milk).

It's a pain when you're on a long road trip and just need your coffee.

[discntnt_irny_srcsm]

61. My coffee creamer of choice is...

...real heavy cream. Not much else comes close. The corner store near me sells quarts for $5.29.

[begin_within]

50. All fake meats made from textured soy protein

[Initech]

54. Mac and cheese

I've tried the "organic" brands and I've never found one that's any better than Kraft.

[DebJ]

58. We loved the Baked Lays, but can't find them around here anymore.

I guess the comments on this thread explain their disappearance.

That, and the fact that any type of food that isn't larded with fat or mummified in salt is difficult to find around here.
When I first moved here 11 years ago, I was working at a Panera Bread in the position where you put the meals together
on the tray and insure the customers pick them up. I was horrified to see the large numbers of people who surely were
not much past 60 who acted completely senile. I was worried about the water supply, until I started trying to grocery shop
around here (South Central Pa). I don't know much about German diets except sausage, sausage, sausage (fat fat fat) but
that is a factor here. Are German diets high in fat?

Here's just one of a plenitude of examples:
Woman grabs a plate with a salad on it and goes to her table. A few seconds later, we discover that 1) we are missing
the salad for another customer, and 2) there is a sandwich unclaimed for way too long on the counter. About 15 minutes
later, the woman returns to tell us "That was a great salad, but I ordered a sandwich." Duh, then why did you pick up
the salad? That's the only example I can recall at the moment, but seriously, I was quite alarmed by the obvious heavy
presence of dementia at an early age in the population here. And I had been doing quick service food for ten years at
that point, in Maryland, and NEVER noticed such a thing. In fact, I was several times quite stunned by the opposite,
chatting with customers who turned out to be in their 80s when I would have guessed 60s (and I was in my forties at
the time so I wasn't too young to be able to tell).

On Edit: the dementia does explain all the Republican voting in this area, though.

[Iggo]

60. Low Fat Peanut Butter

It's gritty, doesn't spread right, and it tastes...different.

[kentauros]

64. Diet Tonic Water.

I didn't buy it, because I was so confused.