If you had access to a time machine, what advice would you give yourself

[closeupready]

from whatever age you are now to, say, yourself as a teen?

I think my biggest regret from my younger years is being too alone, which messed me up in some ways that were lasting, IMO. There are reasons why that happened that way, but I would have advised myself to try to be more outgoing.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

1. Don't marry that guy...

[Sweet Freedom]

2. +1!

And run like hell when you meet him!

Also, don't smoke and don't move to Texas.

[pinboy3niner]

3. Catch 22

If you change your past, you won't be the same you now. Mistakes, traumas and all is how you got to be what you are now. You can't change that without affecting who you are today--with unpredictable results.

[RebelOne]

4. Don't elope to Georgia and get married at 16.

Yes, I did it when I was 16 and I was divorced at 25. I would love to go back in time and warn my 16-year-old self.

[Grey]

5. I have lots of advice.....

But, would I listen......?

[NewJeffCT]

34. Yeah, that's the tough part

sometimes, it's easier said than done - like I said below in my response. I said that I should have broken up with my ex-wife before we got married. However, part of my problem with her was that I had trouble saying "no" to her. If future Jeff told younger Jeff not to marry her, would I have suddenly gained the willpower to break up with her before we got married? I'm not sure - I didn't really learn how to stand up for myself with women until afterwards.

[Hatchling]

6. Study harder...

Go to college and don't marry anyone until you have an established career.

[bikebloke]

7. There are some women I'd tell myself to avoid.

Then there were some I should have given more attention.

And by the way, don't move to Seattle.

[closeupready]

9. Why? What's wrong with Seattle??

[sakabatou]

8. Go to a community college

[Le Taz Hot]

10. #1: Don't marry whats-his-name.

#2: Figure out a way to start college earlier.
#3: Choose another major (music was fun but it was limiting in the jobs department)
#4: Move to the mountains or the coast as soon as possible.

[hunter]

11. Whadaya mean "if?"

Same as always, I tell myself "No! No! No! Don't volunteer, you idiot!!!"

And for about a billion times now (or so it seems) I do.

In every fucking thread it's the same. I die. Sometimes I die peacefully in bed, but not once so far as the peaceful centenarians of my own family. I have trouble being at peace in any thread I'm in.

Sometimes I die in some nuclear inferno, missiles falling from the sky. Let me tell you, instant incineration leaving a shadow cast on the sidewalk is better than slow death by burns, gamma and neutron radiation, or nuclear fallout in the air, food, and water.

But the worst life-threads are creepy and quiet. No more people and not a single clue what caused the extinction of the human race. Then I always wonder if it was something I said. Probably not. Humans are just not that powerful. This universe is a random place. God's name is random chance. Ask Tyrannosaurus rex. Shit happens. We live the life of hunter-gatherers and die the ordinary death of any animal. Disease, starvation, or accident, food for the scavengers or carnivores more dangerous than ourselves. Or embalmed or cremated, a waste of meat, but eventually we are all fertilizer.

One thing I'm certain of, this is a pretty good world now. In this life-thread I'm years past my median longevity. I have family and friends, and I slept okay last night in a safe place, even though I was a little restless in the early AM hours as my usual meds wore off.

Things are always bad, but they can always be worse.

Still, I'm pushing for a safe-haven singularity. But with my Irish luck, most of those singularities will suck too.

[Still Blue in PDX]

12. Good advice. Someone should have told me that, too. nt

[BlueJazz]

13. No date Dot.

[GOLGO 13]

14. Just a couple....

~ Instead of the Marines go Air Force

~ Sit-ups stupid! (So much regret)

~ that chick from the 6th floor? Go for it.

~ that saxophone you inherited? Go take lessons for it.

~ buy Microsoft, Apple, Google, Disney & go BIG!

~ Judo is cooler than everything else. Don't wast time with that CMA bullshit.

~ Invest in my 401k as soon as I get hired.

[nolabear]

15. That stuff you did at forty? Do them at twenty. You can.

Took me a long time to be brave enough to dare.

[shenmue]

16. Don't leave New York

[Boom Sound 416]

43. ...

I'm sure she misses you too.

[shenmue]

44. Thank you

[femmocrat]

17. Study more and party less.

That is the main one.

[Paulie]

18. Should have had that V8

Problem is I look at my 8yo daughter doing homework and just changing one decision means she's not here. So no thanks.

[jmowreader]

19. Do not get married

[Jamaal510]

20. Don't be afraid to ask girls out,

get your driver's license before all 3 of your cars get totaled/stolen (I'm 24 and still can't drive), spend more time hanging with your friends and less time indoors playing Pokemon, and...when you're looking for an apartment room, find one downstairs (instead of upstairs) and somewhere you won't have to hear your noisy neighbor having sex.

[mrmpa]

21. Accept that Semator's Appointment...........

to the Service Academy of my choice in 1976, being in the first class of women at the academies. I had applied in 1974 per this Senator's advice & of course had been turned down. In late 1975 the Senator contacted me & said I could go to the Academy of my choice, but by then I had 2 years of college under my belt & felt that drinking and light drug use was more my style.

[chemenger]

22. Plan (and save) for retirement EARLY!

and then stick with your plan

[IrishEyes]

23. Don't change your major.

Transfer to a better college even though it costs more. Stick with the major you started with even though your family says that it is an unprofitable major. I wish that I had followed my career dreams. I would have been really happy with the career that I wanted but I didn't have the courage to go after it.

[raccoon]

24. Major in something more marketable. Study more in college. nt

[magical thyme]

25. Don't walk away from your family.

RUN!

Follow your best friend, who followed your plan, and disappear into the wilds of Colorado. Get a shit job at the post office and then you can think about what you want to do in peace, and without your parents sabotaging your life at every turn. You'll be able to get grants and loans to go to school and get a degree in something you can get passionate about, instead of trying to please people who don't want to be pleased. You might even get a boyfriend, get married and have a family without them shitting on the relationship at every opportunity. You might even have a chance at life.

[closeupready]

29. Wow. This just makes me want to do this:

Sorry that you had a dysfunctional family, and glad you're here!

[Arugula Latte]

26. Emigrate out of the USA.

[DFW]

27. Not always the best solution

I've been living in Europe for years (Germany), and it has its ups and downs here as well. Maybe not like Oklahoma, but if I had a shot at moving to Boston, I might consider it. The grass IS always greener, take it from one who knows both sides..

[DFW]

28. Be more careful whom you trust

Except for that beautiful blonde woman in the cabaret in Berlin--she's for real (been with her for 40 years now).

[closeupready]

30. You stated you are still in Germany - are you still living in Berlin,

or elsewhere in Germany? It can be fun vacationing there, for a non-European, and if I HAD to live in Germany, Berlin would be the only place I'd want to be, though I think the Baltic Coast is very pretty.

[DFW]

31. I met my wife in Berlin, never lived there

We're in a tiny town outside Düsseldorf in the Rheinland.

It USED to be a beautiful place, until the city planners decided that growth was the only thing that mattered, and rent-controlled little shops were stifling the ambitions of the owners. Now, all the cute little shops and cafés that gave this place its character are disappearing one by one, being replaced by national chains of cell phone operators, insurance companies, cheap shoe chains and travel bureau chains, selling cheap tours to Turkey and Tunisia. The city fathers also let stand bribery-induced building permits in our immediate neighborhood, letting horrible "prestigious" monstrosities be built, including two on a piece of land that is/was a huge horse-grazing meadow belonging to a 1000 year old castle in our back yard. We also got one as our next door neighbor. A huge Bauhaus monster, twice as big as any other house in the neighborhood, owned by a divorced rich guy who lives alone in it except when visited by his girlfriend or his son, neither of whom live with him. The corrupt building permit guys have all been sacked, but their Frankenstein houses are all still standing.

Thirty years ago, some rich guy built a prestige house here on a piece of land that was set aside for public use. He was forced to tear it down. That wouldn't happen today, unfortunately.

[cyberswede]

32. I would tell my college self to study abroad for a year. nt

[NewJeffCT]

33. I would tell myself several things

1) While it may be painful, break up with your fiancee before you get married. (not sure I'd have had the willpower to do it at the time, though.)
2) Don't go to college in upstate NY - stay closer to home.
3) Buy amazon.com and google when they go public
4) Loosen up & don't be so shy around women.
5) You won't become a sportswriter, so don't spend any money on a career there.
6) don't stop exercising when you get older
7) Bet a lot of money on Buster Douglas to beat Mike Tyson

[Yavin4]

35. For God's sake, major in Computer Science and minor in French!!!

You would have made so much money earlier in life and probably would have been much happier.

[MrScorpio]

36. Learn math and go for a communications career field in the Air Force

Travel overseas early and often and save as much money as possible, rip up every single one of those credit card applications except for one and ONLY use the card for emergencies purposes.

Avoid buying a Ford anything.

[Pendrench]

37. "Buy a DeLorean....trust me"

[NightWatcher]

38. See more concerts. But no life advice

I haven't seen a decent show in years and they were all around us back int eh mid 90's.


As far as life advice goes, I wouldnt change a thing. Life has been very bumpy, but I like where it has gotten me.

[Boomerproud]

39. I have plenty of advice for myself but I'll try to narrow it down.

1. See an ear/nose/throat doctor much earlier than I did-might have prevented infected mastoid and thus saved most of my hearing. Losing much of your hearing at age 30 is, surprise, a real life-changer.

2. Exercise and sculpt my body more.

3. Go to college and really do something I'd be passionate about. I went straight into the work force after high school and that was a huge mistake that I've regretted ever since. If I had to work myself through college and it took me six years I still should have done it instead of taking stray night classes. Also, study a year abroad.

4. Have a solid life plan.

5. Socialize more when younger, maybe I could have meet Mr. Right., maybe not, but the parade has passed.

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

40. Go into music 100% and never get near a law school

Becoming a lawyer is the biggest mistake I ever made. Any young person thinking about going into any profession should find out as much as possible about the day-to-day grind of that work and ask themselves if they could stomach that over a period of years.

[ohnoyoudidnt]

41. Take school more seriously.

Learn how to take a hint when a girl likes you.

[Boom Sound 416]

42. Get in the time machine!

[Laffy Kat]

45. There were several guys I rejected for one reason or another.

And they were great guys. I was young and shallow and I feel bad for being such a be-otch. I have two sons now and I'd feel bad if someone treated them the way I treated those guys. Also, I'd finish my undergraduate first time 'round.

[Art_from_Ark]

46. Well, if the advice were strictly for myself,

I wouldn't know where to start.