Homeless Child Apparently Unaware He Lives In Nanny State

[Snarkoleptic]

The Onion cuts deep again...
http://www.theonion.com/articles/homeless-child-apparently-unaware-he-lives-in-nann,37348/

NEW YORK—Considering how these days the government in this country coddles its citizens from the cradle to the grave, an 11-year-old boy currently homeless on the streets of New York must be unaware he lives in a nanny state, reports confirmed this week. According to sources, the boy, who is visibly malnourished and has been abused by nearly every adult in his life, apparently hasn’t been told that America has become an entitlement society that gives out free health care, housing, food stamps, and God knows what else to anyone who wants it—regardless of whether they’ve actually worked for it. Why anyone would choose to sleep in an alleyway every night when he could instead be taking advantage of the bloated welfare state in a nation that is quickly on its way to full-scale socialism was reportedly beyond the ability of sources to comprehend. Observers eventually concluded that the homeless, hungry child must be so lazy he isn’t even willing to stand in line for big-government handouts like the rest of this nation’s freeloaders.

[sendero]

1. Sadly satirically true..

... and eminently bump-worthy.

[malthaussen]

2. Secretly, he is a billionaire...

... he just likes living this way. It's his choice, you see. Onion aside, sad to say, I have seen that exact claim in some mainstream fiction where the author just can't help but add in a little social editorialization.

-- Mal

[PeoViejo]

6. He's gathering material for a Book.

His Advance has just about run-out, thus the Living under Reduced Circumstances.

[hatrack]

9. Nah, it's the next episode of "Undercover Homeless Dude"

[Tommy_Carcetti]

3. I despise that term.

I don't think there's a term I hate any more than that.

Sadly, some libertarian minded people who identify themselves as liberal have used that term from time to time, and it sickens me.

[Arugula Latte]

4. Funny -- but not "ha ha" funny.

[cheapdate]

5. Same question for the Mexican immigrants piled into work-trucks

that I see at 5:30 in the morning at the local quick-stop. Or the Mexican maids I see cleaning the motel rooms across from my office.

They don't seem to have gotten word about the free food, housing, health care, etc. that they can get from the feds by virtue of their status as unlawful aliens.

It's true. I heard it on Fox News.

[blkmusclmachine]

7. Nice.

[Spitfire of ATJ]

8. Amazing how many people believe you can just go the the "Welfare Office" and get free money....

Those same people who believe that also take great pride in the fact that THEY have never done that.

(Even though they went through some hard times.)

[Snarkoleptic]

10. Your comment reminded me of the "Two Americas" Vanguard documentary.

The guy in the video is a staunch Republican who reflexively votes against his own best interest.
In one scene, he's down at the church asking for money to help pay his $300 electric bill and he walks out with $70.

Here's a clip that highlights the jaw-dropping cognitive dissonance-

[Spitfire of ATJ]

11. Typical "hate the government / love the flag" idiot.

[Kalidurga]

12. The Onion: reporting the straight news since 2009

that was the year it became impossible to parody the RW.