Anyone have experience w/relatives w/dementia who

[July]

believe people on television are talking directly to them, and who respond to them?

My sister reports that our mother, already diagnosed w/primary progressive aphasia, a frontotemporal dementia, insists that Alex Trebek, Pat Sajak, Vanna White, and Drew Carey are talking to her. She waves to them, talks to them, and is currently upset because Trebek asked her to do something she didn't want to do and then "yelled at her" when she told him she didn't want to do whatever she thought he was asking her to do.

If you've dealt with this, is there a "best" way to deal with this? My sister is beginning to feel it's pointless to try to disabuse our mother of her irrational beliefs.

[Suich]

1. My Grandma thought Liberace was talking to her a long time ago.

If your Mom's been diagnosed, it's probably best not to try to correct her.

Let her think what she wants; it doesn't make a lot of difference in the long run.

When I was in my thirties, I took care of my Mom for a while and she was the same way. At first I would correct her, but then realized it just confused her more.

Tell your sister to relax and just play along.

Best wishes to all.

[July]

4. Thank you for your advice, Suich.

I was leaning toward the response you describe; it's just new to us. Yhank you for your kind wishes.

[shenmue]

2. ...

I'm sorry.

[July]

5. Thank you, shenmue. N

[hopemountain]

3. just let her be & stop trying to

correct her response or behavior. this is not harmful to her nor anyone else. but, arguing with her is pointless and stressful for all concerned.

[July]

6. I think my sister's response was a natural one -- hoping to bring her back to reality.

We do recognize that it may be too late for that. That's why I'm asking about others' experiences with the same situation.

[hopemountain]

7. yes, understood. our family has been there

and it was hard watching our mom go through this - and our dad's escalating frustration trying to correct her.

[kiva]

8. It may seem natural but

it will just result in more arguments. Dealt with this (not the TV, other dementia issues) with my parents, and have a friend who is headed there quickly. My friend's partner keeps trying to 'correct' my friend and it makes me frustrated because there really is no point in doing so, just upsets both of them.

I get that you and your sister hate losing your mom in this way but continuing to argue won't make any of you happy. I just started agreeing with my parents and friend, and trying to follow their conversational path.

[Frank Cannon]

9. In her world, Trebek is definitely talking to her.

Just as in your world, he is definitely not.

As long as he's not telling her to do something harmful and she's in no danger, I would just play along with it. To do otherwise will just agitate and upset her.

[livetohike]

10. Please read "The 36 Hour Day". I just read this wonderful book last week. My mom and m-i-l both

have dementia. The book offers suggestions on dealing with behavioral issues,care and understanding the disease.

The advice given in this thread is right on. You can change the subject when she starts on this track. My mom responds to the tv too. She also thinks she sees family and friends on tv commercials.

I have to learn not to argue with her. To the dementia patient this is real and no amount of trying to convince her otherwise will work.