So I met this *GUY* and we went on a date...we opened the place

[LaydeeBug]

and we closed it down. It went *great*

He asked me to text him to make sure I got home safely. When I did this, I thanked him for dinner and told him I had a lovely time.

His response to that was: "I am glad you did. Now what are you going to do with me? I'm yours for the taking"

I responded with a smile (because it was a little much) but then...

I never heard from him again.



It was over before the leftovers were...


Just venting a little.

[cyberswede]

1. Did you ever contact him after you texted the smile?

Maybe he's waiting for you to make a move?

[NYC_SKP]

2. Sounds like he was fun for the night but a jerk in the end.

His text response is creepy or dismissive, not even funny, and if he cared a bit about you would text again.

I'm sorry that it didn't have a better outcome but you're spared years of misery for knowing sooner that he's not fit.

[LaydeeBug]

3. Thank you so much NYC_SKP

I feel awkward for not being a better judge sooner though.

[NYC_SKP]

4. People can be hard to read, both men and women.

And when you think about it, one night, or even a week or a month or a year, doesn't reveal nearly as much about a person's character as we might think.

I think you're a pretty good judge of character, seeing as you posted here, that seems to indicate that you figured it out.

Hang in there!

[KMOD]

6. SKP gave you some great advice.

Don't feel awkward.

Your intuition served you very well.

It's not your fault you are a caring person. That's a plus, not a fault.

Unfortunately there are many creeps out there.

Hang in there. You deserve much better.

[Joe Shlabotnik]

5. what if

instead of "I am glad you did. Now what are you going to do with me? I'm yours for the taking", he said: "I'm glad you had a great time, I feel some real attraction and a strong connection with you, whats next!?!". Maybe that's what he meant but expressed in an inarticulate way.

[KMOD]

7. You guys, lol

Perhaps that's what he meant, but she smiled, and he disappeared.

[Joe Shlabotnik]

8. And...

so it was that later. As the miller told his tale. That her face, at first just ghostly, Turned a whiter shade of pale.

(OK I better stay out of this stuff!)

[KMOD]

9. You are the coolest guy here,

love your input, don't you dare stay out of it.

[d_r]

10. was it the guy on the left?

[betsuni]

11. Just a thought, but I know some people hate emoticons.

Maybe he has a pet peeve about them. I didn't think what he wrote was so bad. "Now what are you going to do with me?" begs for something like "Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?" from Christmas Vacation. It's sort of a little test. If you both creep each other out then it was not meant to be.

[Art_from_Ark]

13. A smile without text might also be interpreted as

"I'm not really interested in you, but I don't know how to say it, so let's just part on good terms".

At least, that's a brush-off technique I've heard about here in Japan.

[betsuni]

15. Yes, you never know without words.

Half the time emoticons are used in a passive-aggressive way.

[HeiressofBickworth]

12. That's what "dating" is for

It's like sampling -- you go out, share a meal, talk, see if there is anything that would warrant another date. It seems for him, he wanted to get to dessert way too soon.

It's like a tee shirt I saw once that said, "A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle." A man would be a nice addition, but never count on another person for your self-esteem.

So, here's what you do: brush yourself off, look around and say NEXT!

[DeSwiss]

14. Hmmm.....

- Did he look like this:




I'm not saying it was aliens but, It Was Aliens! Or maybe Donna......

- Don't worry, the good ones always return......

[HappyMe]

16. He may have thought you weren't interested.

Without any words, a smiley only is open to a lot of interpretation.

[HERVEPA]

27. Agree. Definitely a possibility.

He may be a jerk. Or may not be.
He is the one who wrote the last substantive text. May have thought it was your turn.

[Phentex]

17. It's hard to say but I do think texting is making things harder for people...

a story similar to yours played out on one of those morning radio shows. They spent time trying to figure out the meaning behind the text messages and the girl was wondering why the guy didn't ask her out again. In the end, it seemed like HE was trying to figure out if she was interested and couldn't tell from her texts. I think it's very hard to hear tone, or playfulness or even interest in just a text message.

Still, I do think if I were still in the dating game and a guy couldn't pick up the phone and call, I'd be over him in a hot second.

[In_The_Wind]

18. Maybe you should send him a text asking: What would you like for me to do?

He may have been trying to be funny.

[Xyzse]

19. I don't understand.

He responded to your text with "I am glad you did. Now what are you going to do with me? I'm yours for the taking". You responded with a smile? Like... , or -smile- or ~*smile*~?

As a guy, I'd be confused. Does that mean, yes, you want to see me again, or is that a smile saying "ok, that's cute but I don't really take you seriously". Some guys would have a hard time responding to that, and need more, while some would consider that as a polite blow off, and would then step back accordingly.

Did you say anything after the "smile"? Someone like me would be ok with that because I tend to go for friendships rather than anything more, before considering anything else, however for some, who are actually looking for more than just friends, that would have put them off, thinking you're not really interested in them, and would then just cut loose.

I am sorry that it didn't work out, but as a guy, I must admit to my own daftness and stupidity, not being able to tell from signals sometimes. So if I don't have a clear indication that a person wants to see me again, I will consider that a friendship, and if they want to hang again, they will just contact me and I'll see if I can work it through my schedule.

On Edit: That though I would never say something like he did, particularly at a first meeting, all I took from that is him asking if you wanted to see him again, start up looking at a relationship, or more, giving the ball in your court to decide where you want to take that. I didn't see it as an immediate request for anything physical.

Imagine it on a guy's point of view:
---
So I met this *Girl* and we went on a date...we opened the place

and we closed it down. It went *great*

I asked her to text me to make sure she got home safely. She did, and thanked me for dinner and told me she had a lovely time.

I responded to her saying that: "I am glad you did. Now what are you going to do with me? I'm yours for the taking". Showing her that I am interested in her, and the ball is in her court, she could make me anything from a boyfriend to just a friend, and I hope to see her again.

She responded with a smile... Just a smile? I just told her I like her. I guess she doesn't really like me.

Oh well, I guess she isn't interested.
---

[DFW]

20. I think that's how I would have interpreted it, too

But what do I know? I haven't been on a "date" in 40 years!

[Xyzse]

21. Hence the reason I am confused by this.

Honestly though, I don't think I have ever really dated any one.

I had a long term on and off girlfriend during my younger years (coughs, through my teens and early twenties, up to 2003), we're still friends, and she still tells me that out of everyone she's been with, I treated her the best... Yay, go me.

I have been in love with my female best friend whom I am currently in an odd long distance relationship with that is beyond just friends, but not quite. It is all too confusing, which is why it pretty much takes me out of the market, even if we are nothing at all official. This has been going on longer than many marriages, as I think we've hit the 8th year of this... Wait, we've been like this since Kerry was running for President.

So, to tell the truth, any sort of hang out I do with any body, I consider a hang out rather than a date since all I look for is friendship. If anything develops beyond that, well, I'll deal with it then.

However, even when I do such hang outs, I tend to respect spaces. If a person I hang out with is not willing to coordinate with me in regards to an activity, I tend to let things go. They have my contact information if they want to do anything. I have other things to do, skills to learn, new experiences to gather and books to read!

[DFW]

25. Technology has changed the whole scene completely

Even my elder daughter met her current boyfriend online. He's very attractive, funny, normal, earns his own living and seems to adore her.

Me? I met my wife before there were computers, cell phones, or much of anything other than "get out there and meet somebody!" We were in a smoky cabaret in Berlin in 1974. A girlfriend of hers, whom I had met the night before, said she was leaving for China the next day, but that I should meet her girlfriend from "up north." I said sure, where is she? She leaned back and I saw this tall blonde goddess with the face of an angel. I thought, oh yes, I DEFINITELY should meet her girlfriend from up north. We played the long distance (USA-Germany) game for 4 years, and then we made it more permanent. I'm still constantly on the go, but we have been a couple for over 40 years now.

[Xyzse]

26. I remember your story. It's an amazing one.

The one I am in that situation with, I've been best friends with for years before it developed in to more.

Thank goodness I am not looking. I tend to like slow developments when it comes to these things any how.

[DFW]

32. At age 22 we were all (and always) looking

Due to full schedules, though we met in 1974, we didn't even get married until 1982. My best man remarked, "I know many of you feel they are rushing into this...." Best line of the whole wedding (and it was a double wedding).

[Avalux]

22. People can be strange. Dating can be strange...

I met a guy for coffee and we had a nice conversation over about 2 hours. Nice, right? Wrong.

Later that night (after 11), he texted that he had a great time. I was asleep and didn't reply.

The next morning (at 8!!!), he texted me again. "I didn't get a reply from you, did you have another date after ours"?

Kinda made the hair stand up on the back of my neck.

[KMOD]

33. That is creepy!

[Tuesday Afternoon]

23. I would have considered that a blow off. Probably, yes, his text was a tad on the strong side but,

your come back was way cool to the other side.

It happens.

Dating is hard in this day and age.

Better luck next time.

[HappyMe]

24. Why didn't you call him?

[HERVEPA]

28. Why don't you call him now.

[HappyMe]

29. What?

[HERVEPA]

30. Sorry. Not you, her.

[HappyMe]

31. Okay.

My husband would be a bit disappointed if I started calling guys for dates.

[HERVEPA]

34. Yeh. Even if he was into threesomes, probably wouldn't be the right mix. :-)

[HappyMe]

37. Yup.

Not the mix he would prefer.

[olddots]

35. if you had a physical attraction I would go for it

to see if the mental attraction can be worked out .

Don't listen to me listen to you guts or heart or what ever it is that makes us attracted to people .
The smiley is too over used for romance .

[Sweet Freedom]

36. Don't feel bad.

If he was truly confused by your smile and really wanted a relationship, he wouldn't let something like a smiley face end that. That would be ridiculous. And, if he was confused by what you meant and really wanted a relationship, he would have simply replied and asked. He knows his text was presumptuous after just one date and he knows what your response meant, so when you didn't play, he moved on. He's not the one and now you're free to find someone else.

[HERVEPA]

38. Speaking as a guy, noy necessarily.

I would have been putoff by that lack of verbal reply.

[Sweet Freedom]

39. I'm sure he was put off.

She's not what he's looking for.

[orleans]

40. you're right--it was a "little much"

a little pushy, aggressive

did you meet him at this place? i'm wondering why he didn't see you home.

did the real world conversations you had justify him telling you by text that he was yours for the taking?

actually, in spite of all these other replies on the thread, i think you responding with a smile was fine (as if you kinda liked what he said & you're a bit shy).

these were his mistakes. he should have gotten back to you--it was his turn. and he shouldn't have been so pushy in his text to you.

screw him. sounds like you found out early on he's either a jerk or a wackadoodle.

that's okay. better now then six months down the road.