I'm not exactly sure what this post is.

[Half-Century Man]

Last edited Sat Mar 14, 2015, 03:43 AM - Edit history (1)

I found a dead guy today.

My wife and I supplement our income by running some newspaper delivery motor routes. Yesterday we noticed one of our customers had not picked his papers up from his porch for several days. I met him once and knew his was disabled and mostly home bound.
Today, after seeing nothing had happened on his porch, I used the excuse of going on his porch to bag up the non-protected papers (I found 4 of the papers I deliver and 4 of another local paper) and pile them neatly to see if I could determine if he was alright. The blind were drawn on his front windows. I moved around the side of his house and looking through his side door I could see his still legs sticking out of his kitchen with his cane laying on the floor next to him. Fearing the worst, I called 911. The first responders confirmed my fears.

He is not the first dead person I have seen in a.....wild state (pre-pick up by whatever authorities). I think that's at 4 or 5, nor is/was he some I saw die (2 now) and he didn't perish in my arms (1). I was a first responder at several factories and have extracted 9 people from machines as well as preformed first aid on a dozen more to help them until an ambulance could arrive. I took great pride in my skills and calm demeanor in medical emergencies.

All day long I have been haunted by those pajama clad legs sticking out of the kitchen. one foot in a house slipper, the other foot wearing a green and blue sock. I am struck by the sadness of dying alone and being unnoticed for 4 days. I am disturbed by the suspicion that no one called him all that time.

I should have checked yesterday. He would still have been dead, but would have been found sooner.
His neighbors should have payed attention to his papers piling up and checked on him.

In a weird way I am a bit relived to find that even after 55 years wandering around a planet full of the disingenuous mean spirited people I often run into, I still can be so adversely affected by the death of a stranger.

Keep an eye on your neighbors houses for breaks in established patterns.
Check on people you don't see every few days.
Call a live alone shut in you know or are related to.


Live long and die loved.................................HCM

[lovemydog]

1. Great post.

You're an excellent writer.

Yeah, keep an eye out for your neighbors!

[Marie Marie]

2. I can understand how upsetting this must have been for you.

How sad for this man's death to have gone undetected by any loved ones and but for the concern of a stranger (you), could have gone unnoticed for much longer. You did a good thing and please do not beat yourself up for not having done something sooner. He is at peace.

[Half-Century Man]

11. Not so much upsetting as remarkably sad.

or so I think some 13 hours later.

[orleans]

3. wow--it is very sad

but keep this in mind:
*you* found him
you *found* him
and that was exactly what needed to happen.

[Mojorabbit]

24. +1000 nt

[MrMickeysMom]

4. It is sad and pitiful… to think a neighbor wouldn't know an elder well enough to notice this...

… I'm happy that you did, because if the afterlife sees anything on earth, I imagine he'd see a kind "stranger" who thought about him and gave silent eulogy to others. Why his own family could not see to be there, well… but, you offered love at this moment.

At times I wonder what life will show me if mine is to be a long one. I know already that life is interesting. But, I would want to transition from this earth knowing I left myself in someone's thoughts.

We are humanity, yes?

[Binkie The Clown]

5. I am fortunate to live in one of America's rare neighborhoods

where all the neighbors know each other and check in on each other regularly. We are all in the habit of turning on our porch lights when we go to bed and turning them off when we get up in the morning. If we spot a porch light that is still on when we know it should be off, we call. If we spot a newspaper that hasn't been picked up, we call. My nearest three neighbors (left, right, and across the street) have a key to my house, and I have a key to their houses, as well as emergency phone numbers for family members. Up and down the block, that same pattern of shared keys repeats. There's always somebody that can help out, and more than once a neighbor has had to let in the paramedics in an emergency.

In case you're wondering my neighbors happen to all be "senior citizens", in their 50's to 90's. Some couples, and some living alone. The neighborhood consists of a dead-end street with about 30 or so houses on it. It's the best neighborhood I've ever lived in!

[Midnight Writer]

6. I used to be a mailman

I have had your experience many times over and it was always disturbing. Fortunately, I have also been able to report a problem in time to save a customer many times. It could be a person in a diabetic coma, a person who has fallen, a person with a heart attack or stroke who had no one to call an ambulance, and once a couple who died from a faulty furnace.

There are many, many seniors living alone or isolated whose only regular contact is the mailman. I had many customers wait by their door just so they could greet me and make their contact for the day. It was often very important to them, and I tried to take a moment to chat even thought that is frowned upon by management. (We were timed at 36 seconds per delivery) I had one extremely arthritic woman who would schedule her weekly grocery trip for my delivery, because I would take a few minutes to carry her groceries into her house and put them up in her kitchen.

Our union set up a program where we would collect relative or neighbor emergency contacts that we could call if we thought something was wrong or unusual. We also worked with a local animal rescue organization to call when people could no longer care for their pets. Heartbreaking to see an old person part with their beloved pet because they can no longer care for them. Heartbreaking to meet all these wonderful, faded people whose only regular visitor is the mailman.

[Skittles]

7. a mailman found my mum when she had taken a bad fall

she wasn't a loner or a shut-in but was incapacited by the fall and would have lain there for much longer were it not for the mailman

[pinboy3niner]

13. That's great that he or she found her, Skittles

USPS carriers are good about noticing and reporting when things are abnormal.

[Skittles]

14. my severely autistic brother was with her when she fell

but he wandered up and down the street - did not know to go to a neighbor for help

[Enthusiast]

29. That is incredible!

[Half-Century Man]

12. I have no idea and probably will never know the cause of his death.

I cannot shake the horrifying thought that he might have fallen and broken his hip or back. If he succumbed to dehydration 5 feet from his sink, refrigerator, and phone...............one day earlier might have saved his life.

And I see the mercy in not knowing. One of the few things I actually learned in 55 years is to count whatever blessing I can.

[Sweet Freedom]

20. Or he could have died instantly

and felt no pain. Since you do not know, please do not torture yourself by imagining him suffering. Be kind to yourself. You did the right thing.

[Skittles]

8. keep in mind though

that some people can insist on being left alone and detest the "busybodies" checking on them - it does happen

[pinboy3niner]

9. That's common among PTSD survivors

I don't know if it's about distrust of people and that general insecurity about going outside or something else. But we tend to feel VERY insecure.

[Skittles]

15. I do tend to avoid people

for example, I go to movies only on the latest showing during weekday nights

not a big fan of people in general

[pinboy3niner]

17. Trauma survivors can tend to fear leaving their home at all

They can plan to go out, but approaching the door to leave brings up overwhelming feelings of anxiety and fear.

Believe me, I've been there. And still struggle with the effects, though I've learned to be pretty good at managing them.

[Skittles]

19. I truly feel for PTSD sufferers

my loner tendencies come from complete distrust of people - I am able to read people like books and that can have its drawbacks

[Dont call me Shirley]

22. Thank you, Skittles. PTSD is a scary lonely road.

Learning in teeny tiny baby steps to trust the world is key. It's much easier to stay inside of oneself, becoming one's own best friend.

[Half-Century Man]

10. Thats why I concocted the weak "gotta bag the exposed papers" story.

In case I had to explain why I was on his fenced in porch.

Weird thing though..When I gave my statement to the police officer; I used the weak-ass excuse instead of admitting I was concerned about my customer.

[Skittles]

16. you did fine

I am wary of gun humpers and probably would have contacted the cops for a welfare check

[pinboy3niner]

18. :hugs:

I saw a lot of dead bodies in war, but that was expected. I also found a dead body ater the war. All of the losses were tragic. The difference to me is that those we lost in war, including the enemies we killed in war, were young. Such a waste!

[Phentex]

21. Your post is about a lot actually...

and it tells me you are a very good person.

Our neighborhood is changing and I fear we won't be the kinds of neighbors who check on each other the way we have in the past. Years, ago there was a lady on the news who said "Thank the Lord for nosy neighbors!" and it's been a favorite quote around here. It's one thing to be a busy body. It's another to call a neighbor when something seems amiss or to help an elderly neighbor with their trash and mail.

[Dont call me Shirley]

23. Slipper man...

A good person you are Half-Century Man. I hope you can transform the image of this event into a healing moment.

[Half-Century Man]

25. FWIW, After this.

I have decided to act when I first get suspicious something is amiss.

[Dont call me Shirley]

26. And I shall also.

[seveneyes]

27. He had a Tux on

Standing with your manager, your back to every bar
Burning all your credit cards, chopping out the pain

[RebelOne]

28. I had a similar experience.

My neighbor's car had been parked in her driveway for over a week and she usually goes to work every day. I knocked on her door and got no response. I called her place of work and they told me she had not been there for three days.

I became very concerned and called the sheriff's dept. The deputies came and let me in by forcing a window so I could climb in. I didn't want the deputies to go into the house because she had a large dog that would attack anyone in uniform.

I went into the house and found the dog had locked himself in the bathroom. I then went back to the bedroom and did not even have to go in because the smell was awful, so I knew she was dead. I saw her leg on the bed. Then I grabbed the dog and bolted for the front door to let the deputies in. The medical examiner said that she had died of a heart attack. She was only in her middle 50s.