Girls, Whenever A Guy Says He Doesn't Want To wear Condoms….

[KittyWampus]

Last edited Fri Apr 10, 2015, 05:58 PM - Edit history (1)

[In_The_Wind]

1. That is a perfect answer!

[Chan790]

2. Aiee! That's a headache.

I have a sometimes-partner who doesn't want to use them...she likes the feeling of not using them and she's disheartened that I don't trust her enough to trust her when she says she's infertile. I definitely don't want to have children...and if there were a superlative form of "don't" I would especially not want to have kids with her because she's not someone I'd want to co-parent with.

[elleng]

3. Take the f'in PILL, tell her!

[Ineeda]

4. If you're serious...

and I find it hard to believe that you are, there are (at least) two things to consider:

#1: many women cannot take the pill or choose not to risk exposure to additional hormones that are linked to cancer
and
#2: WHY should birth control continue to be the sole responsibility of women? It's 2015 FFS.

If a couple want to engage in sexual activity and the guy refuses to use protection, tell him to take a hike.

The least problematic form of birth control is condoms.

[elleng]

5. I'm very serious, 70 years old, and

as a former user of the pill, for many years, I don't go with the excuse about 'additional hormones' much. My 2 daughters used it too.

She doesn't like him to use condoms. He WOULD do it if she'd permit. FFS its everyone's responsibility, and yes, he could take a hike too.

[Chan790]

8. I agree with you on #2. Totally.

It's me insisting that we use condoms (because I don't want to have kids with her...and she can't take hormonal BC because it contraindicates with her other medications) and her insisting that she doesn't like them and can't get pregnant so they're unnecessary...which I don't believe (both pregnancy and sexual-health concerns)...so I insist.

We're not dating...she's my FWB, usually without "benefits" because she'd rather fore-go sex than use them and I'm not having unprotected sex with a non-monogamous partner of questionable fertility.

This is starting to feel a bit TMI but I feel I need to answer questions and concerns when raised because sex is something people need to talk more openly about in order to reduce stigma around important subjects of sexual health.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

6. If you don't want kids why don't you get a vasectomy?

[Chan790]

7. Because I'm on a short-list for candidates for human trials of a male BC injection...

expected to enter human testing sometime in the next 24-36 months.

The intention is for a reversible chemical vasectomy basically...they inject a chemical plug into the vas deferens that stops sperm. Later, in patents that want to be fertile again, they can dissolve and rinse the plug out with another injection...that's the idea at-least.

In order to be a chosen, I have to be fertile. One of the things that makes me an ideal candidate is that I am completely okay with permanent loss of fertility, have not had a vasectomy, have strong sperm counts and am of an age (35) where they have had problems finding ideal candidates. Most men that know they don't care if they lose fertility permanently or never have kids and are otherwise ideal candidates have opted to get "snipped" before they reach my age.

Likewise, I have to be open to the possibility of having kids down the road. One of the things they need to test is how soon after the injection is reversed does male fertility return. If the injection is irreversible, it's not really viable as intended. The downside is that I can't do anything to thwart my fertility either...they need to know not only if counts return to prior levels but also if the sperm are viable using "normative models of conception"...and the only way to test that is...well...getting a partner pregnant. Further, they need to know if it raises chances of birth defects.

There are two competing projects: Vasalgel and RISUG. They make for a few dozen hours of Googling and reading.

[ismnotwasm]

9. Ok that is just too cool

Male birth control is long overdue--thank you for agreeing to be in trials

[HeiressofBickworth]

10. Just had this talk with my Granddaughter

She (20 years old) is interested in getting an IUD because taking the pill requires remembering every day which can be a problem for her. I told her that an IUD is not a substitute for condoms. I reminded her that using condoms is not only to prevent pregnancy but also to prevent disease. I explained the difference in the effectiveness of latex vs. natural condoms. She said she heard it all in health classes at school. This comforted me in two ways: schools are still teaching this and she remembers it. I told her that while I loved being a Grandmother, I'm in no hurry to be a Great-Grandmother.

[qwlauren35]

11. Ever heard of a baby mama?

That kind of comment doesn't work with some men. They would brag about the kids, MAYBE see them, MAYBE pay child support.

So no, don't use that comment. Just say "no condom, no sex. Period. Drug store is down the street. Hurry back."