Can anyone help with my note to the bad parking neighbor?

[lovemydog]

I don't want it to sound too mean or rude. I just want to get the point across. Here's what I have for the first draft:

Hi.

What’s up with parking here?

This is not a permanent parking spot.

I can barely get in or out of my garage.

I don’t want to worry about hitting a car every time I leave or arrive at my home.

Please find another place to park.

Thanks very much.

(my name, address & phone number)

[seveneyes]

1. I would do it in person

Body language speaks louder than words.

[lovemydog]

3. Oh, thanks. I'm gonna leave a note.

I don't want it to be in person. It's just my preference.

[MADem]

2. Is it a group living arrangement? Apartment? Condo?

Can you just get management to call a tow truck?

Believe me, one tow and your neighbor won't make that mistake again....

[lovemydog]

4. It's a nice little residential neighborhood.

It's nice quiet homes. I think the car there is a friend of a neighbor. The streets are pretty narrow. Yeah, I suppose I could resort to the towing thing. That's probably available as a possibility. Right now though I just want to leave a simple friendly note. I want to be cool and not yet use the nuclear option, lol.

[MADem]

5. You could always have a pressing need to go somewhere at two in the morning,

and wake the person up and make them move the car.....!!!!

If you're going to use the towing option in the future, don't put your name and phone number on the note!

[lovemydog]

7. Haha, that's hilarious.

Knock on the door at two in the morning. 'Hey, I gotta go buy condoms!' Buahaha.

Yeah, I don't know exactly whose car it is. I think they will move it after I leave a nice note. It's a very friendly, chill neighborhood.

[NJCher]

32. damn straight

I want to be cool and not yet use the nuclear option, lol.

No need for the nuclear option, right out of the starting gate.


Cher

[handmade34]

6. short and sweet and succinct is MUCH better

To owner of this car...
This is not a permanent parking spot and it makes it difficult to get in or out of my garage when your car is here.

Please do not park here.

(name, address & phone number)

[lovemydog]

8. Thank you!

That's what I was looking for!

Something short & sweet & succinct.

I knew someone at DU would help with shortening it.

I always write first drafts longer. Then ponder over it for a while. That's excellent.

Thank you very much handmade34.

[Pool Hall Ace]

9. Short, sweet, and succinct is always good.

Hello, I haven't posted on DU in a while, but I do have one suggestion. Instead of saying, "Please do not park here," is it possible to offer a favorable alternative that would not inconvenience anyone (i.e., "Please park around the corner on Quincy Street&quot .

[lovemydog]

10. Hi Pool Hall Ace.

Nice seeing you.

Yeah, that's a great idea. I thought of suggesting another street as well. I'd kind of rather let them figure it out for themselves, though. Plus, there's no Quincy Street around the corner (haha!).

[Pool Hall Ace]

11. Oh, I needed that laugh!

Oh, the puzzled look the reader would get trying to figure out where Quincy Street is!

[lovemydog]

12. I was gonna write 'Pool Hall Ace says park over on Quincy Street

and trust me you don't wanna mess with Pool Hall Ace.'

[mackerel]

13. Keep in mind someone who parks in such a way that it impinges on your driveway

probably doesn't care how they park and could care less about a note put on their car. Maybe find out who they are visiting and put the note on that persons porch.

[pipi_k]

16. That's what

I was thinking too.

Someone who does that is either pretty damned clueless or pretty damned self-centered/arrogant.

I guess if it were me living across the street from someone like that, and knowing that I can be pretty damned passive aggressive, I would probably "accidentally" hit the person's car while trying to back out, then leave a note apologizing for it. Nothing huge, just a tiny dent. And take a picture of it.

I know that's not a mature solution, but...well...

[noamnety]

23. I'm guessing another motivation

As someone who sucks at parallel parking, my suspicion is they are doing what I do - I look for spots that are near empty spots or driveways because it's easier to get in and out of those spots.

[Skittles]

14. not good

it is very confrontational, and will make them immediately defensive

just explain how their parking affects you and request that they find another parking spot

get confrontational after that fails

[magical thyme]

15. Dearest neighbor, Please do not block my garage or driveway when you park

or my next car will be a bulldozer. And you'll be driving a pancake.

Thank you very much,
Rambo

[pipi_k]

17. Nice but...

the truck guy should run over it again to make sure it's really flat

[lovemydog]

28. Plan B

I love it.

[benld74]

18. Well if you want to be nice,,,

you are doing it right.

I keep small cards in my vehicle, and whenever I am affected by a bad parker I slip them under the wiper blade. It states " I hope you don't F*ck like you park, you'll NEVER get it in!"

[mackerel]

22. LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!

[KMOD]

19. Dear Neighbor,

Your car is obstructing access to my garage.

It would be appreciated, if you could kindly find another place to park.

Thanks,

[noamnety]

20. Dear car owner person,

I'm worried I'm going to scratch your car trying to get in or out of my garage because of how close you're parking. Can you give me a little more room so I know your car will be safe?

Thanks,

A neighbor who wants your car to stay pretty

[NJCher]

33. so far, this is my favorite

Because it sees the situation from the errant parker's point of view.


Cher

p.s. the part about wanting your car to stay pretty might be interpreted as a threat, though. So I'd cool off a little with that statement.

[lastlib]

21. "My friend Guido an' his boyz want youse...."

"...to park somewhere else today....."

"If that's not OK wid youse, he could come by an' have a little 'talk' wid ya......."

[LiberalElite]

24. Do you have "NO PARKING" posted

anywhere around the driveway?

[lovemydog]

25. Update: Thanks all. I left a much friendlier & succinct note

as suggested by handmade34. It worked. Car no longer there. Even got a call from a neighbor saying it was her friend's car. She was apologetic and cool. It won't happen again. Neighbor & are are going to get coffee some time.

[PADemD]

26. Glad the situation was resolved.

I was going to suggest that you park your car where the visitor parked.

[lovemydog]

27. Thanks.

I liked a lot of the other suggestions here too, especially the one for flattening the car with a large tank. The neighbor is friendly & now aware of the situation. She told her friend to not park there any more.

[Pool Hall Ace]

29. So happy that it worked out.

And you're going to get coffee, too! Can't beat that.

[lovemydog]

30. Thanks. I'm glad I asked here and

waited a day. The collective power of DU is better than just me responding out of anger or impulse. I got a kick out of the funny responses too.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

31. I'm really glad to hear about your good outcome, my dear lovemydog!

DU can really help!

Enjoy your coffee with your neighbor!

[lovemydog]

34. Thanks CP.

I will enjoy the better parking situation and the coffee with my neighbor!