Thanks to nice women at my Y, I did not pass out this morning

[nadine_mn]

This is one of the reasons I love the Y - everyone there is so helpful - members and staff. Not sure what other gyms are like but today was a life saver for me.


A little back story - 1 1/2 yrs ago I was speaking to a group of people when suddenly I got all hot, sweaty, woozy, and nauseous. I went to the rest room and promptly passed out. I was taken to the ER and was given fluids (it was a hot day and I was sweating) and told it was my Vagus nerve - I had a vasovagal response which is basically the common cause of fainting - basically all the blood rushes from your head. Since I had never fainted before, this idea that I could just pass out scared the crap out of me.

Fast forward to today - I have been battling a cold and couldn't sleep so I decided to go to the Y. I swam for about 45 mins, went to the sauna for a bit then the showers. Just as I was finishing the shower all those symptoms came flooding back - nausea, sweating, dizzy - and all I could think of was "oh shit - not again". I sat down on one of the benches in the locker room and there were some women getting dressed and chatting - I said "excuse me ladies" - 3 heads popped around the corner "I am feeling dizzy - could one of you get me some water, I have money for the vending machine". I barely got that last part out before one woman was digging in her purse for a Fiber One bar and another was on her way to the front desk (apparenty they keep little tiny cans of pop there). I refused the bar (too nauseous for food) and sipped the pop. They continued to check on me to make sure I was alright... and soon, sure enough I started to feel better.

The combination of sitting (blood rushing back to my head), the sugar, and not feeling alone - the fussing of 3 women instantly made me feel better.

I will be honest - I was pretty scared at first. It is such a horrible feeling - the dizziness, loss of focus, rapid sweating, nausea - you just feel like your body flipped all the switches. Usually my husband and I go to the Y together, but because I couldn't sleep I had left at 4:45am and it was now after 6am - he was still in bed and probably didn't even know I had left.

But the kindness and caring of 3 complete strangers - so quick to help out someone they didn't know, that just made me feel 100% better.

Just had to post how awesome people still are!

[barbtries]

1. people really can be great.

it's good to remember that amid all the news and evidence of how entirely horrible people can be as well. thank you for sharing.

[Pool Hall Ace]

2. I've been in situations where strangers were nicer to me than my own family.

Kudos to those kind ladies!

[nadine_mn]

3. I hear you - my mom is a Narcissist

her main concern is how it effects her. The best example - I was in college (first few weeks, I was only 17) and I had fallen and broke my ankle. I was in the ER, the staff were calling my mom for insurance info and she wanted to talk to me. She screamed at me (mind you - I was in the ER with a bone protruding through the skin) and yelled at me for ruining HER weekend - it was parents weekend coming up and she was pissed as hell that I was in the hospital and wouldn't be able to attend the parents' weekend activities. The staff had to take the phone away because I was in hysterics and they could hear her yelling at me.



I think that is why today touched me so - there is so much kindness out there, people who really do care for others without asking anything in return.

[siligut]

6. OT, but have you worked on the troubles associated with having a narcissistic mother?

Probably so, since you recognize the disorder, but just in case, here is a good book for you: http://www.amazon.com/Will-Ever-Good-Enough-Narcissistic/dp/1439129436/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1331738086&sr=1-1

Will I Ever Be Good Enough

The first book specifically for daughters suffering from the emotional abuse of selfish, self-involved mothers, Will I Ever Be Good Enough? provides the expert assistance you need in order to overcome this debilitating history and reclaim your life for yourself. Drawing on over two decades of experience as a therapist specializing in women's psychology and health, psychotherapist Dr. Karyl McBride helps you recognize the widespread effects of this maternal emotional abuse and guides you as you create an individualized program for self-protection, resolution, and complete recovery.Narcissistic mothers teach their daughters that love is not unconditional, that it is given only when they behave in accordance with maternal expectations and whims. As adults, these daughters have difficulty overcoming feelings of inadequacy, disappointment, emotional emptiness, and sadness. They may also have a fear of abandonment that leads them to form unhealthy romantic relationships, as well as a tendency to perfectionism and unrelenting self-criticism or to self-sabotage and frustration.

[nadine_mn]

7. Thanks for the book recommend

I am just finished reading Disarming the Narcissist. I am seeing a therapist to work on my own issues and realizing how much damage my mom has done over the years. I still have to deal with her (I am an only child and she has - surprise surprise - alienated her siblings, and I am all the support she has) so I need to make sure I take care of myself.

I have never felt good enough and that self-criticism and sabotage mentioned above is right on in my life.

[siligut]

9. I think it helps to know that how she treated you as child and how she treats you now . . .

Has nothing to do with you and everything to do with her. It is a shame that with everything else one has to do as an adult, one has to spend time energy and money reconcile ones childhood. But I know of no other way. Good luck to you.

[murielm99]

10. I own this book.

I read it in relation to my own therapy in dealing with a narcissistic mother. She is 84 years old, and still abusive toward me.

None of her neighbors speak to her. She has never met any of her great-grandchildren, because he grandchildren despise her and will not have anything to do with her.

In spite of this, many of our relatives, and many of the people at her church think she is wonderful, and that her family is wrong and cruel to her.

[siligut]

14. Such manipulative people

And you can't believe anything they say. So while your momster is telling you how people feel sorry for her, she may really be manipulating you, to elicit guilt.

I am astounded by the deviousness of people with personality disorders. At any rate, you know or are learning not to react to the manipulation.

The worst part, in my mind, is that they can't see themselves as deserving the treatment they get from other people and don't seek therapy. They just play the victim.

More off topic, but did you see narcissistic traits in laptop guy? You know, the guy who posted a video of himself shooting his daughter's laptop on Facebook?

[murielm99]

15. I am not sure about laptop guy.

He could be more or less normal, and just looking for publicity. There are so many new ways to get publicity, with our changing electronic communications. He may simply be selfish, and looking for a way to make money. They guy who is a sicko is balloon boy's dad. He has his whole family enabling him, too.

My therapist, and my brother's therapist, warned us about diagnosing people. Both of them were cautious when it came to saying anything about our mother. They issued lots of caveats. They would have to meet her several times and test her before saying anything definitive. But they both mentioned narcissistic traits. They had to deal with us, the victims, and narcissism seems like the most likely explanation for her behavior.

Do you know how common narcissism is? I don't. I am not even sure if the pros know how common it is. Those people do not go into therapy. They think everyone else has a problem, not them.

[siligut]

18. Less common than alcoholism and usually male

The biggest surprise for me is that 20% of the US population is alcoholic, and that people with personality disorders tend to abuse substances like alcohol.

I think with personality disorders, an individual tends to befriend and marry people similar to family members, so it may appear that many people have the disorder, but really it is selective perception. I do know that with NPD, 75% are males. I have not heard a statistic regarding how common NPD is, but I agree, it would be difficult to measure as pwNPD so rarely seek help.

We were also warned about dx people, especially over the Internet It is difficult not to want to classify behavior, it helps so much to understand where people are coming from.

[raccoon]

13. Sorry she was like that. My own mother was like that lots of times.

In later years, she learned from my stepdad how to be a real human being. Too bad she couldn't have
learned it several decades ago....

[siligut]

4. So glad you are all right and thank you for the story about human compassion

It brought a tear to my often cynical eye.

[TuxedoKat]

5. Next time you feel that way

put your head down between your legs. It will help the blood get back into your head faster. Sometimes you have no warning though. Two years ago I had a cold or some kind of virus and I fainted away without much warning, jsut a sudden feeling of nausea and I went to sit down but the next thing I knew I was flat on my back on the floor. Scary.

[nadine_mn]

8. Fainting is so scary - not at all glamorous like the old movies portray!

No fainting couch, no one to catch you, and in my case the first time I was in a police station (where I was doing the training) bathroom and this almost time I was just in a towel in the locker room - hardly the place to get the vapors!

That nausea is the clue, and I was lucky I got to a place to sit down.

[murielm99]

11. Something like this happened to me in a store.

I was shopping for clothes, and I nearly passed out. Two store clerks brought me a candy bar and a coke. They made me sit in their employee lounge until I was okay.

I wrote a letter to the store manager, so that the ladies would get some recognition for their kind behavior.

[TorchTheWitch]

12. welcome to my world

I've been a prolific fainter all my life. It sucks. It's embarrassing, and depending on how you land you can really hurt yourself. It never scared me because I've always done it, and I think I was in high school before I ever figured out that everyone else wasn't also like this. While the before the faint symptoms really suck, I actually almost rather like the feeling of the "coming to" part... it's a bit of a floaty almost euphoric feeling, and you feel like you weigh only as much as feather. There's also a strange feeling that you've been lying there just like that for centuries and are actually a part of the environment... it's a rather pleasant non-feeling (no anxiety, tension, worries, etc.). I actually feel a little annoyed at the time when concerned people pull me out of that feeling with their concern. I think a few times I might even have said something like "oh just let me lay here and enjoy this for a bit more" without realizing it.

I'm sorry you find it scary, but I would guess that most people would. I just don't because I've always done it so it's a normal thing for me. I've very happy that some people were there and glad to help you even if it was just to make you feel less scared and vulnerable. Sometimes the kindest and most selfless actions come from total strangers.

[nadine_mn]

21. oh I have never had that feeling

the first time I passed out I just remember the hustling of the EMTs, and this second almost time, I was able to recover.

Its that feeling before that is so awful....

I am sorry you have been a prolific fainter - since you can't always make sure you land in a soft place, that must hurt.

I am a prolific faller - I fall all the time, to the point I have learned to minimize the impact.

Thanks for the kind thoughts!

[Taverner]

16. Awesome! At my gym you would have been pounced on by a bunch of EMTs in training

Each one trying to be the hero....

[Wait Wut]

24. I had a diabetic friend that did something similar.

I was experiencing what he considered "sure signs" that I had developed diabetes. He and another friend tried to hold me down so he could poke me with some needle thing to test my blood. They ended up bruised, but wiser.

Turns out I was just working my way up to a heartattack.

[Wait Wut]

17. Glad I wasn't there.

I panic.

I would have called 911, decided the ambulance was taking too long, grabbed one of those floatie board things and popped you on it, dragged you to my car, hauled you inside, headed for the hospital (passing the ambulance on the way), gotten lost, freaked out, pulled over to call 911 again (I don't use my cell when I drive), gotten stuck in a ditch, you would've rolled out the door into the ditch and dislocated your shoulder, I'd drop my cell in the water in the ditch trying to pull you out, while pulling you out I would've dislocated your other shoulder...and then I'd cry.

Passing out sucks. Only happened to me twice. Glad you had some calm, sensible ladies there to help!

[siligut]

19. OMG dear. Take a CPR/BLS class

It will prepare you so you won't freak out. Still, this post made me laugh

[Wait Wut]

22. Um...NO!

I have a really hard time with physical contact. Grabbing someone by the arms and dragging them somewhere is one thing. Having to touch people and possibly put my mouth on theirs is totally not gonna happen. I just avoid situations where I might need to be of assistance to anyone in any sort of physical emergency. To be fair, I don't expect anyone to feel like they have to touch me if I'm dying. Just toss me in the road so the ambulance can find me easier.

[MrsBrady]

25. just fyi

Compression only is recommended now for the average person who is trying to help an adult.
I'm CPR and First Aid Certified as it is required for my job.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cardiopulmonary_resuscitation
The standards were changed recently.

Compression only (hands-only or cardiocerebral resuscitation) CPR is a technique that involves chest compressions without artificial respiration.[1]:S643 It is recommended as the method of choice for the untrained rescuer or those who are not proficient as it is easier to perform and instructions are easier to give over the phone.[1]:S643[5]:8[9] In adults with out-of-hospital cardiac arrest, compression-only CPR by the lay public has a higher success rate than standard CPR.[9] The exceptions are cases of drownings, drug overdose, and arrest in children. Children who receive compression only CPR have the same outcomes as those who received no CPR.[1]:S646 The method of delivering chest compressions remains the same, as does the rate (at least 100 per minute). It is hoped that the use of compression only delivery will increase the chances of the lay public delivering CPR.[10] As per the American Heart Association, the beat of the Bee Gees' song Stayin' Alive provides an ideal amount of beats-per-minute to use for hands-only CPR.[11] For those with non cardiac arrest and people less than 20 years of age standard CPR is superior to compression only CPR.[12][13]

So no need to kiss anybody. lol

[nadine_mn]

20. oh this made me smile! I know that feeling!

I am glad my husband wasn't there - (besides trying to explain why my husband was in the women's locker room) - he always panics in a crisis, then freaks out - although not quite as much as you described.

All I kept thinking was 'no no no - I do not want to pass out or go to the hospital in just a towel! MUST.GET.DRESSED!!'

I do appreciate the enthusiasm with which you would have tried to rescue me - even with dislocated shoulders!!

[Wait Wut]

23. AHHHH!!!

That's why I don't sleep naked anymore!!! I'm "sure" I'm going to die in my sleep and I don't want them finding me dead AND naked! How fucked up is that? Like the paramedics or whomever has the morbid task of packing my body up is going to give a rats ass what I am or am not wearing?

I wouldn't appreciate me too much for trying to resuce you. We'll probably both die on a desolate road somewhere and all you needed was a glass of water.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

26. nice story of human caring in action. thanks for sharing it.

saw a bumper sticker the other day:

I Y - DO U


took me a second