Pittsburgh Man Charged With Robbing Bank With a Sex Toy

[Blue_Tires]

A bomb squad blew up a briefcase and other suspicious items in a Pittsburgh man's car Monday after he robbed a bank, police said. With a sex toy. Specifically, a vibrator.

Aaron Stein, 35, faces a preliminary hearing June 25 in Allegheny County Magisterial District Court on nine felony counts including aggravated assault, robbery, threatening to use a weapon of mass destruction and the unusual charge of possessing a facsimile weapon of mass destruction, according to court documents.

That last one would be the vibrator.
IMAGE: Bomb squad detonates device after bank robbery
The Allegheny County Bomb Squad detonates a suspicious device found in a car after bank robbery Monday in Crafton, Pennsylvania. WPXI-TV

Stein was arrested after a PNC Bank in the Pittsburgh suburb of Crafton was robbed of an undisclosed amount of money Monday. Crafton Police Chief Mark Sumpter told NBC station WPXI of Pittsburgh that Stein "stated he had a bomb, showed the teller wires hanging out from his shirt and demanded cash."

http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/pittsburgh-man-charged-robbing-bank-sex-toy-n376096
http://pittsburgh.cbslocal.com/2015/06/15/bomb-squad-called-to-interstate-79/

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

1. When did a dildo become a facsimile weapon of mass destruction?

I think the Department of Homeland Security might be getting carried away.

[NightWatcher]

2. I bet they typed "phallic" and damned auto-correct changed it to "facsimile"

[LiberalEsto]

4. I think they meant a "weapon of mass turbation"

[dawg]

3. I once tried to rob a bank with a protractor.

They charged me with threatening to use a weapon of math instruction.

[betsuni]

5. Did he say, "This is a stick up!"?

[Major Nikon]

6. He wanted to do hard time

[jmowreader]

7. That's fucked.

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

8. There must be a charge of battery, too. nt

[gratuitous]

9. If they hadn't caught him

I would have seriously thought MFM had faked his own death.

[pinboy3niner]

10. He must've needed new batteries...

Because police also charged him wth assault with a dead weapon.

[hifiguy]

11. The world is now officially weirder than anything

Monty Python ever managed to think up. And that is saying something.

Clearly no one involved in this entire incident knew dick.