A reminder about lame candy

[Recursion]

If you are giving these out this weekend you are wrong:

1. Candy corn
2. Bit O' Honeys
3. Charleston Chews
4. Boxes of raisins (seriously? seriously????)
5. Apples ("because it's healthier" "until you hit the razor blades!&quot
6. Those fucking alternately orange and black wrapped peanut butter things. Seriously, these are the worst candies ever invented. They are probably not even "candy" but dental torture devices invented by Torquemada
7. Flyers urging people to vote for or against a candidate or initiative (if you do this, you better include some seriously awesome candies -- not just Hot Tamales, but like mini-Twix or something)
8. Those little peppermint disks they give out at restaurants. This is not even candy. Citation? You can get it at a restaurant.

Awesome candies to give out:

1. Little boxes of Nerds
2. Mini candy bars (particularly Twix)
3. Mike & Ikes or Hot Tamales
4. Those little orange and green pumpkin things (you know what I'm talking about)
5. Lemonheads/Red Hots
6. Atomic Fireballs
7. Necco wafers

Also, some things are good as small denominations in later candy-swapping, viz:

1. Tootsie rolls
2. Caramel chews
3. Those fruit tart bracelets
4. Dum dums/other lollypops
5. Chewing gum

I urge you not to overlook these candies; even if they do not add much "bulk" to a kid's haul, they add an enormous amount of flexibility in later trading sessions, and so are definitely worth giving out.

You were a kid once. Don't give out candy that would have made you roll your eyes.

[murielm99]

1. I have:

mini Three Musketeers

mini Reece's Pieces

Mini Payday candy bars

Mini Hershey's candy bars

I don't shortchange the kids with cheap stuff.

[Duppers]

62. What's your address?

(from SalmonChantedEvening's Awwloween Edition)

[azurnoir]

2. agreed but 1 you forgot those little rolls whatever they are called "Smarties"

only people who don't like kids give those out ditto something called Good and Plenty which is not the first and needn't be the second

[Fairgo]

3. Good 'n Plenty!

Ok, I won't defend my favourite movie candy as Halloween fare...licorice is an acquired taste and not good barter material in the candy negotiations.

Another one for the "no" list: popcorn balls. Nobody actually eats these. They just take up space and contaminate your haul with karo syrup.

[retrowire]

5. totally agree

popcorn balls are crap!!!

[azurnoir]

6. oh I agree about the popcorn balls try to bite into one I dare ya

I suspect they're made of shellac and packing peanuts

[retrowire]

4. SMARTIES ARE THE GREATEST

you take that back!!!

also, aren't good and Plenty's just Mike and Ike's without fruit flavors? just sugar flavored. BORING.

[Recursion]

10. They're allegedly licorice (nt)

[retrowire]

13. wtf

I argue about a number if things in the DU.... But if I've gotta defend my candidate for best damn candy then I'll have to do it lol.


Smarties are essentially tangy sugar pills. once crushed, they become the delicious BC powder that cures all ailments. you can even eat a few and wrap it up if you want to continue later.

Licorice?! you slander smarties good name!

edit...oh god you were talking about good and Plenty's weren't you?

[Recursion]

14. No no: Good'n'Plenty are licorice

Smarties are amazing. Love them.

[blogslut]

7. You shut your mouth.

Smarties rule.

[azurnoir]

8. okay okay I'm sorry somewhere I've got a bagful built up over the years

because my kids wouldn't eat them

[blogslut]

9. I will eat them all.

And I don't even like candy. That's how much I like Smarties.

[azurnoir]

12. lol candy is a vice for me

snickers almond rukke

[blogslut]

15. Well, to be fair...

I just don't like overly sweet treats - which is probably why I am okay with Smarties.

I have my vices too. I'm nuts for salty and vinegary things. While other people steal maraschino cherries from the bar, I steal the olives and cocktail onions.

[Recursion]

11. Yup

Same rubric as the sweet/tart bracelets. Good as a smaller denomination.

[peasant one]

16. This reminded me of a David Sedaris article about Halloween

Give it a gander. I read it to my spouse and we both could relate.


[link:http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2003/11/03/tricked|

[trof]

17. One of the best PSAs I've seen on DU.

[MrsMatt]

18. Necco wafers?

Like eating flavored chalk.

[MannyGoldstein]

21. Good for the Massachusetts economy, though

New England Confectionary CO, IIRC

[Manifestor_of_Light]

70. NECCO wafers are good!

Yes they do sell them in the South. They're basically a chalky valentine heart turned into a disk.

I remember the old factory on Mass Ave in Cambridge. That was in the 1970s. Don't know where it moved to.

[Cassiopeia]

19. No pennies either!

Oh how I hated the guy that gave out 4 pennies instead of candy.

[meegbear]

20. When was chocolate taken off the awesome list?

Didn't know it's no longer cool, hip, mod, now and with it.

Well kids, Dums Dums for you, all the Hersheys and Reeses for me.

[Lochloosa]

25. DARK CHOCOLATE! How did that not even make the list?

[meegbear]

26. That too!!

[Thor_MN]

77. Kids, in general, do not like dark chocolate.

If Trick or Treaters were adults, dark chocolate would be right up there with wine. But since they are kids, dark chocolate is on the "We'll TP his trees later" list.

Along with Necco wafers... Blech.

[MannyGoldstein]

22. Liquor

To the parents, of course.

That was a tradition in our old neighborhood. One house had an open bar on the porch. Others handed out beer, wine, etc.

[Recursion]

29. I find your ideas intriguing and wish to subscribe to your newsletter (nt)

[trof]

32. We used to Trick or Treat for drinks in our 30s.

Those were the days.

[HelenWheels]

23. You are wrong and right

I like;
Bit O' Honeys
Raisins
Charlton chews
The orange and black chewy things with peanut butter centers

Don't like:
Any of the candies in your awesome list except mini candy bars
Only like the Tootsie roll in your trading stuff

Good thing we all don't like the same stuff

Fun post

[LiberalElite]

24. IMO the lamest candy of all is the stuff made in China, like the

Spongebob stuff (among others). Nickleodeon apparently can't afford to pay for Made in America.

[Snarkoleptic]

27. or Mexico, or anywhere outside the USA.

This Halloween Make Sure You Are Not Handing Out Foreign Made Candy.

From Facebook page- Bring Back American Jobs And Buy Products Made In The USA

For Made In The U.S.A. Alternatives Click "See More" to open a drop down menu of links to companies offering American made Halloween candy.

Annabelle Candy Company.
http://annabellecandy.com/

Atkinson Candy Company.
https://atkinsoncandy.com/

Big League Chew Bubblegum.
http://www.fordgum.com/bigleaguechew/

Boyer Candies
http://www.boyercandies.com/products.aspx

Charleston Chew
http://shop.tootsie.com/Charle…/c/TootsieRoll@CharlestonChew

Charms Candy
http://shop.tootsie.com/Charms…/c/TootsieRoll@CharmsAssorted

DeMets Candy.
http://www.demetsturtles.com/products/original/

Dots Candy
http://shop.tootsie.com/DOTS-Gumdrops/c/TootsieRoll@Dots

Dum Dum Lollipops.
http://www.spanglercandy.com/candy-store/dum-dum-pops…

Esther Price Candy.
http://www.estherprice.com/

Gertrude Hawk Chocolate:
http://www.gertrudehawk.com/

Goetze's Candy.
http://www.goetzecandy.com/

Hammond's Candy
http://www.hammondscandies.com/holiday-ca…/halloween-candies

Idaho Candy Company.
http://www.idahospud.com/

Junior Mints
http://shop.tootsie.com/Junior-Mi…/c/TootsieRoll@JuniorMints

Mike And Ike (Just Born Candy)
http://www.justborn.com/…/product…/seasonal/halloween-treats

NECCO Candy.
http://www.necco.com/

Pearson's Candy.
http://pearsonscandy.com/

RM Palmer Candy.
http://www.rmpalmer.com/halloween/

Russell Stover Candy.
https://www.russellstover.com/jump.jsp…

See's Candies
http://www.sees.com/Cat.cfm/Halloween_Gifts

Sugar Daddy
http://shop.tootsie.com/Sugar-Daddy/c/TootsieRoll@SugarDaddy

Tootsie Roll
http://shop.tootsie.com/Tootsie-R…/c/TootsieRoll@TootsieRoll

Whitman's Chocolate.
https://www.russellstover.com/jump.jsp…

Yummy Earth Organic Lollipops.
http://www.yummyearth.com/aboutus.html

Zachary Confections.
http://zacharyconfections.com/products_halloween.htm

Note - Always Check The Label Before Buying.

[Duppers]

63. Thank you!

Aways do.

[LiberalElite]

79. Thanks for this !! nt

[TheOther95Percent]

28. No Lame Candy Here

I have 15 value-sized bags of mini-candies with everything from tootsie rolls, lollypops, m&m's, skittles, buttercrunch, snickers etc. We get about 500 kids to the lobby of our coop building.

[Laffy Kat]

30. But aren't those little orange and green pumpkin things...

Basically the same thing as candy corn? They taste the same to me. Please address this contradiction!!

[Hassin Bin Sober]

35. You beat me to it. Same thing.

[Recursion]

42. The paradox is intriguing, isn't it?

But the fact remains.

[Kali]

58. they are the same and those pumpkins are too much

I would rather have the candy corn. especially the "chocolate" ones. gotta have one dose of candy corn per year! (they really are gross)

[Scuba]

31. First of all, Bit O' Honey and peanut butter kisses (those "alternately orange and blacked wrapped")

... candies are my all-time favorites.

Secondly, the poster above is correct that candy corn and the orange and green pumpkins are identical except for shape and color.


Finally, your "awesome" list should deter repeat visitors.

[LiberalEsto]

33. Circus peanuts are loathesome

So are Mary Janes.

[Duppers]

64. Zactly!

[seaglass]

95. No no no I love circus peanuts - especially stale circus peanuts as they get chewy. Almost as good

as stale peeps and marshmallows!

[Pakhet]

104. ME TOO!

I thought I was the only one! stale circus peanuts, stale peeps, candy corn and black jelly beans are all my favorites.

[progressoid]

34. Circus Peanuts (often mistaken for packing peanuts) Yuck.

[Skinner]

36. One of my neighbors gave out band aids last year.

My kids were like WTF? except they don't know swear words yet so they were like whatever is the 7-year-old equivalent of WTF.

[Kali]

61. !

did they at least have sponge bob or something like that on them?

actually come to think of it I have a niece who LOVED bandaids as a kid. she would have liked that

[eppur_se_muova]

37. I love chewy candies -- Mary Janes, Charleston Chews, Bit-O-Honeys ...

and those orange and black candies are basically big Mary Janes (peanut butter and molasses, hard to go wrong with that !)

Can't say I agree a whole lot with either list.

[annabanana]

44. You must have a pretty spectacular set of choppers!

All those things would just pull my crowns off and loosen the bridgework...

[eppur_se_muova]

47. Well, there's the drawback ...

My mom has had to deal with bridgework her whole adult life, so I have some idea what you're talking about.

I've always taken a Darwinian approach -- if what I'm eating pulls a tooth out, that tooth was weak anyway.

[annabanana]

50. good on ya

(implants ain't cheap)

[Manifestor_of_Light]

71. This is why I don't eat peanut brittle.

Or Almond Roca. Too damn hard on the teeth. I've got I don't know how many crowns, a bridge, and 2 implant post/crowns.

[BainsBane]

106. Same here

The OP has questionable taste.

[woodsprite]

38. We have 3 buckets and are giving out

1) Hershey nuggets, Reeses PB cups, snacksize Milky Ways (stuff we can take into work if needed)
2) Pringles sticks (honeybutter, sugar cookie, pizza flavors), popcorn balls, bags of goldfish
3) A chotsky (bubblestuff necklaces, party-sized Playdoh, crayons/sm coloring book, book of tattoos,
matchbox cars)

We do a haunted maze and the kids take one item from each bucket at different "stations" in the maze.

[demmiblue]

40. You are officially DU's Halloween ambassador!

[woodsprite]

45. This year the theme is vintage Halloween.

The garage door and windows are decorated with black silhouettes backlit with orange lights, in the style of Beistle.

We usually get between 60-75 kids, but a lot of their parents come in and go through the haunted maze as well. The 'give-aways' are stockpiled all year using sales/coupons. Last year we actually printed up a 'tombstone' with a disclaimer on it because we were using teeter boards and strobe lights. This year we have a swinging bridge, the web walk (pitch black walkway with black threads hanging from the ceiling to tickle your face), a strobe light checkerboard room with a hidden exit, a flying crank ghost, a neverending (mirror) hall (that's really a dead end), plus a few places inside to hide real people for the treats (and to keep an eye on things), and a blacklight a hall of pool noodles kids have to push through to exit.

It's always fun thinking up new stuff and a challenge to rework things you already have made/own. Next year's theme is Aliens, which will require coming up with several new larger props/decorations. I'll look for alien masks, etc. at the sales on Nov 1 this year.

[demmiblue]

103. That is so cool!

You are giving the children of your neighborhood some really great memories.

[Duppers]

65. Wow! Cool.

[packman]

39. I remember when you were lucky to get an orange or apple

or marshmallow covered popcorn ball, or - if you were really lucky - rice krispies squares

[bunnies]

41. Anyone remember those wax bottles filled with colored liquid?

What the hell *was* that stuff anyway?

[Laffy Kat]

51. Sugar water, of course.

How 'bout those wax lips and fangs. They were actually kind of fun and tasted good except the flavor only lasted, like 30 seconds.

[bunnies]

57. I remember those things!

The flavor lasted about as long as fruit stripe gum! I wonder if anyone ever questioned the safety of all of us chewing wax all the time.

[restorefreedom]

83. it makes me ill to think

i actually consumed those ewwww

[SnowCritter]

43. Bit O' Honey was, and is, one of my favorite candies

I guess what some would consider "lame" others would consider awesome. Never could work up a taste for those Necco wafers and could only take so much of the Red Hots/Hot Tamales.

I'll give out the usual chocolate stuff - minis of Snickers, Milky Ways, Kit Kats, etc.

[LeftinOH]

46. Pencils are OK, too... in my view. n/t

[No Vested Interest]

48. Good list, but I (personally) would only buy and give candies which

I could eat if there are any leftovers - which I've had in recent years. Not so many young children in my neighborhood in recent years, and weather plays a part in how many arrive.. Also no sidewalks or street lights, and it's hilly.

That (unfortunately) leaves out any taffy-type, including Bit'O'Honey, Charleston Chews, Tootsie rollscaramel chews, etc., all of which put my fillings in jeopardy.
Therefore, the mini candy bars - yes, Twix, but also 3 Musketeers, Snickers, Reese's, M'n'M's, etc. work very well in my household.

I also used to raid my children's loot for malted milk balls, but I don't see much of that around anymore.

[svpadgham]

49. No mention of Jolly Ranchers?

[Hoyt]

52. I buy stuff I like so that when I turn off the lights after the first kid, I can enjoy leftovers. :)

[Spitfire of ATJ]

53. We have about 100 to 300 every Halloween....

We buy 5 bags of these.



Then we keep aside some chocolate for the really little kids and first timers.

We've seen new parents with a baby dressed as a pumpkin asleep in a stroller.

Then there are the teenagers that are old enough to drive. I used to give them something that looks like a caramel apple but it's actually a caramel onion.

[jmowreader]

54. You forgot the most lame thing to give out

Chick tracts.

Anyone who gives out Chick tracts deserves all the vengeance the neighborhood kids can muster.

[Laffy Kat]

80. I'll have go Goggle those??? nt

[jmowreader]

81. Those are the little comic-style Come to Jesus books people leave in men's rooms

Start here...

http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0046/0046_01.ASP

[Laffy Kat]

86. Ugh. I know now.

I looked them up. If anyone gave my kids one of those I would encourage/help them TP the giver's house. How obnoxious.

[Recursion]

82. OMG I had a job translating them once

I probably shouldn't have taken it but the money was good.

Absolute most batshit crazy fundamentalist stuff. Actually technically they aren't "fundamentalist" or "evangelical" but a non-dispensationalist Calvinist, but the result is largely the same.

[Laffy Kat]

87. How long did you last? That would drive me nuts. nt

[Recursion]

88. The. Whole. Series.

All 118 of them (I think there are more now). I had just gotten laid off from a .com and it was pretty easy money, so I did the whole thing, and just drank heavily in the evenings...

I did sneak in a prank at one point, and translated grafitti that said "groovy" (yes, really... the out of touch-ness was astounding) to the Swahili for "eat a bag of dicks".

[Laffy Kat]

89. Bwaaahaaa!

That is hysterical. Good for you.

[OriginalGeek]

97. The church I was raised in used them for sunday school lessons

little wonder I am now an atheist.

[IcyPeas]

55. I also like bit-o-honey, charleston chews and peanut butter kisses

but aren't bit-o-honey and MaryJanes the same thing? (I like them both but they seem interchangeable to me). I also like smarties. I am not a huge chocolate fan unless it's good snobby chocolate.

[MrsMatt]

74. Bit o honey has almonds; Mary Janes have peanuts

only the same if you are not allergic.

[pansypoo53219]

56. i love bit-o-honeys. but my teeth say no more.

[Duppers]

59. But..but..I like Bit O'Honey and hate

DumDums and TootsieRolls. Yuck.

[Kali]

60. I have almost never lived where any trickortreaters could get to my house

but when I was a kid my Mom made up sandwich size baggies of lightly salted popcorn (popped in a pan with oil, the only real way to make it!) and a scoop of regular MandMs. I used to take the leftovers to school in my lunch for weeks. a good homemade mix of salty and sweet.

oh man, I just got a major craving!

[GeorgeGist]

66. My favorite cheapo candy ...

[BlueJazz]

67. I give out full size Milky ways and Snickers every year. I love the way the kid's eyes light up.

[RobinA]

101. You Go!

I hate this mini candy thing. Give my something made out of chocolate that I can bite into.

[Ino]

68. I love candy corn & circus peanuts!

[Phentex]

93. Me too! But nobody eats them and that's why they are still being made.

It's like McDonalds. Nobody eats there.

[n2doc]

69. Push Pops and Ring pops

The kids go nuts for them. I get them at the local warehouse store and they aren't that expensive.

Full size chocolate bars (pricy!) again, kids go nuts when they see these.

[Lunabell]

72. Chocolate! I give out mostly Chocolate!!!!

And other stuff mixed in and I give several pieces to each child. I just love Halloween!

[Auggie]

73. Are mini pretzel bags lame?

[Recursion]

85. No, that's kind of cool, I think

Sometimes you want something salty to go with your sugar overload.

[Auggie]

92. *whew*

Mrs Auggie and I have issues with most commercially mass-produced chocolate.

[alphafemale]

75. I've found kids like the juice pouches/boxes

They are getting thirsty by later in the evening.

I have some little bags of chips, some gold fish, some candy about Blowpop level and also some little toys.

I have ink stamps little gliders and bracelets.

There is something called the teal pumpkin project where you let it be known you are handing out non-candy treats.

http://www.foodallergy.org/teal-pumpkin-project#.Vi68Y1UViko

And I'm not going to even be home!

My housemate will hand it out and oooh and awww at the cuteness.

[MineralMan]

76. We give out full-size candy bars.

Costco has them in boxes of 30 for a good price. We buy seven boxes. If any are left, we eat them. Snickers, Milky Way, Twix and two varieties of M&Ms. Kids are happy, which is the point.

[DamnYankeeInHouston]

78. I used to tell my second grade students

"If you come to my house, I'll give you homework."

[restorefreedom]

84. kit kats rule

also twix, butter fingers, and nestle crunch and good and plenty!

[mackerel]

90. Um you forgot butterfingers

[Lyric]

91. I always give chocolate, BUT I also buy sugar-free chocolates,

pretzels, whole grain crackers, glow sticks, sugar-free gummies, homemade sugar-free cookies, and bags of yummy assorted nuts, because some of the kids in our mobile home park are diabetic. We put the diabetic stuff in one bowl and the regular candy in another, and the older kids know what to choose for themselves, while the younger ones get help from whichever parent is walking them around. And if the non-diabetic kids want some glow sticks and pretzels instead of Snickers bars, that's just fine with me

I have to eat like a diabetic myself, so my homemade sugar-free cookies are the envy of the neighborhood

[Phentex]

94. There's a big push here for the teal pumpkin project...

if you have a teal pumpkin on your porch, it means you are giving out something without possible allergies or sugar. Probably a non edible toy or something. There's also a list of candies that don't contain allergens but most of them still have sugar.

[OriginalGeek]

96. You are right about the terrible candy but

your list of good candies is also terrible.

Snickers
Twix
Reeses Peanut Butter Cups
Milky Way
Kit Kat
OR any of the off-brand version of those things.


and maybe M&Ms, 100Grand bars, Goobers.


IF, for some reason, you hate humanity and absolutely refuse to give out chocolate, those jellied, sugar-crusted orange slices are OK. but only just ok.

[dr.strangelove]

98. Terrible Advice!!!

Opinions are like a$$holes, everyone has one.

1. Candy corn
2. Bit O' Honeys
3. Charleston Chews

These freaking ROCK!!! If I had a house giving out Charleston Chews I would spend the night going back again and again. I would change costumes to get more. that is GOLD! Bits are good and a little candy corn is good too.


Nerds, Hot Tamales, those little orange and green pumpkin things, Lemonheads/Red Hots and Atomic Fireballs all suck! these are the bottom of the list. Crap candy.


Mini candy bars are great, they belong at the top of th elst right behind Charleston Chews. I love the Hersheys special darks and Krackles most of all.

Just another view on the candy you listed. All the best and enjoy Halloween.

[crim son]

99. I have to thank you for this post!

Somehow I'd forgotten all about trading sessions. I have three sisters and it was a big deal. Man, you just brought me back.

[Mendocino]

100. I give out

Noliteson

[SCVDem]

102. Popsicles

Kids love popsicles!

[BainsBane]

105. Where to start?

Bit o Honey and Charleston Chews are not lame.

Neco wafers are totally lame.

Nerds? I don't know that one. And that orange and green pumpkin thing sounds suspicious, like it probably resembles candy corn in taste, which is the worst.

I stick with chocolate bars: Snickers, Kit Kat, Twix, Receese's.