Obama Compiles Shortlist Of Gay, Transsexual Abortion Doctors To Replace Scalia

[IronLionZion]

WASHINGTON—Moving quickly to begin the process of filling the unexpected vacancy on the Supreme Court bench, President Obama spent much of the weekend compiling a shortlist of gay, transsexual abortion doctors to replace the late Antonin Scalia, White House sources confirmed Monday. “These are all exemplary candidates with strong homosexual values and proven records of performing partial-birth abortions, but am I missing anyone?” Obama reportedly asked himself while reviewing his list of queer, gender-nonconforming, feminist Planned Parenthood employees, all of whom were also said to be black immigrants. “I definitely have enough post-op transsexuals on the list, but it is a little light on pre-op candidates. And I should probably add a cop killer or two on here just to round out my options.” Sources later confirmed that Obama was attempting to rapidly narrow the list down to the single best nominee to submit to the Senate in hopes of wrapping up confirmation hearings before his choice had to leave to attend the Hajj pilgrimage.

http://www.theonion.com/article/obama-compiles-shortlist-gay-transsexual-abortion--52361

Seriously though, we should nominate someone who will really make GOP heads explode since they're going to block it no matter what.

[valerief]

1. You forgot MUSLIM gay transsexual abortion doctors.

[clarice]

2. Muslim gay transsexual abortion doctors with red hair.nt

[hermetic]

3. I love this!!

Can one post this on Facebook without attribution and not get in trouble? I would love to see this shared around with people whose heads would explode! Much hilarity would ensue.