I had a clinic visit yesterday that should serve as atonement for my sins.
First of all, it was a pediatric visit. I'm not a big fan of pediatrics. But our pediatrician left, and we're still looking to hire another.
Second, it was a two-fer. In the interests of efficient time-use, the parents bring every one in and say: "Just get 'em all done at once."
Third, they were sports physicals. It's back-to-school time again, and every parent with NFL-stars in their eyes wants their little quarterback cleared to train and compete.
Fourth, the 'parent' was a guardian, the patients' mother's boyfriend. His knowledge of my patients' medical history was sketchy, at best. And he brought the youngest child with him. Still in diapers; messy, smelly diapers.
It was as hot as fuck outside, and we're in a small exam room with six people in it. The temperature starts to approach erupting-Mount Doom levels.
The boyfriend still hasn't changed the baby's dirty diaper.
Sports physicals are routine, and usually boring. But I check every boy going out for football for risk factors for sudden cardiac death. That means getting an EKG. The younger brother's EKG was clear. The older brother had some worrying abnormalities on his. So I drew up a referral for an echocardiogram. If that too is abnormal, I will be referring him to a pediatric cardiologist before final approval for play.
The heat is becoming overpowering, and mixed with the aroma of dirty diaper, nauseating. My lab coat has become the world's smallest, hottest prison. But if I take if off now, they'll see me, my shirt, and tie drenched in sweat.
The boyfriend finally decides to go out to the lobby restroom to change the baby's diaper, so I step out to my office for a breath of cool air, and to keep from collapsing.
When he gets back, I have to explain to him and to my patient the meaning of the EKG results, and the process of follow-up. And to assure them both that whatever the trouble might be, it's probably treatable, but I can't give approval for play until the pedes cardiologist weighs in.
When it was all over, I still had to go back to my office and chart both physicals. And then go visit with the four patients who had been out in the waiting room this whole time, tapping their feet and looking at their watches.
In conclusion: I don't know what sins I may have had to atone for, but I can assure you that, whatever they were, they have been amply atoned for by this clinic visit.
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<-------- This is me now...
I'm sure you can think of a few. 
Obviously showing your love of Shakespeare again: patience on a monument.
-- Mal
Your sins are more than absolved! 
That was just unfuckingbelievable.
Ya done good, real good!!!
