I despise arguing and being angry with someone I love.

[MerryBlooms]

It happens so rarely, but when it does, it really messes with both my mental and physical well being.

[seabeyond]

1. i hear ya.

it makes me sick, too. hubby dislikes it as much as i do. we rarely fight. well, i dont know we have ever fought. only been upset with each other a couple times.

yukky feeling.

i am sorry it is messing up your day and weekend.

[MerryBlooms]

3. We've been together 5 years and this is our first.

I'm relieved we are fair fighters/arguers; we didn't say anything nasty nor curse and it's over with, but ugh, our body language is a mess + one heckuva pounding headache.

thank you.

[seabeyond]

5. yes... lol, just that

and we NEVER go too far either. never the namecalling and stuff. but just like you. drained. headache

we laugh at people that talk about the after sex..... eeew, lol. we dont get it. not a high for us. it is for some.

we have been married to 18. it continues to get easier and easier to have none of that in your life.

[alphafemale]

2. And when I see couples that always seem to be arguing and cutting down each other publicly.

I'm like

And they sometimes stay in that miserable state for a long time.

Sometimes to death.

[MerryBlooms]

4. There's really no excuse for disrespecting or harming someone you care for.

[trof]

6. Yeah, that makes me very uncomfortable.

We have some close friends who get into it once in a while. with us present.
Give me the jimmy-jams.

We love them both, but she seems to really get on his case for small things sometimes.
She can be kinda hyper and he's pretty laid back.
And she come from our generation's (born in the 40s) 'new money' (Dallas oil, daddy was a successful wildcatter, the big house, servants, race horses, etc.) and he's a redneck, but very smart and successful in his business.
And just a hell of a nice guy.

We know another couple and she's ON him 24/7.
The poor bastard can never do anything right, according to her.
And he just smiles and takes it.
They've been married 40+ years.
I'd have bailed on her LONG ago.

She confided to my wife, several years ago, that it was pretty much a 'shotgun' marriage.
She got pregnant and he 'did the right thing'.
I'd hate to be in a relationship like that.

[alphafemale]

8. I take studies that say things like religious people have a lower divorce rate.

Or people that did not live together/have sex before marriage have a lower divorce rate.

That is very likely true.

There are also a larger number of those people caught in absolutely wretched lives with a person whose is cruel to them.

And they see no hope, no way out because their belief system and support community sees divorce as taboo.

Divorce is a horrible, painful thing.

But is by far NOT the worst thing that can happen.

[trof]

10. I fail both tests.

I'm an atheist and we lived together before marriage.
We got married in 1969 and it's been pretty much all good ever since.
Celebrate our 43rd next Thursday.

[Swede]

7. It is a horrible feeling.

Yes a mental and physical reaction is what I feel after an argument with someone I really care about.

[bluedigger]

9. There's always the "make-up sex", though.

Well, until there isn't...