Friend help please

[NewsCenter28]

So, my absolute best friend kind of surprised yesterday. We both have been having a rough April. His wife was very sick with blood clots and ovarian issues. These issues are now resolving after the proper medication. They just had a baby on Feb 17, their first.

Meanwhile, my Grandpa, who I am extremely close to, is in palliative care with a stroke/broken hip and not expected to survive the month.

I was kind of counting on being able to rely on my friend during this time for emotional support since my family is all screwed up.

However, he pulled me aside yesterday to tell me that he was going to be coming to the Aquatic Centre(working out at the gym is our main hangout) very seldom from now on. I said ok, I always run past your house on my way home. Maybe I can stop by sometimes? He said, maybe but the baby might be sleeping or we may might be out. So, I kind of took that as a hint that I'm not welcome there.

I said how about visiting you at the hockey rink where he works since it's close by to the gym and he gets off work around the time I work out. He said, maybe but I'll probably be busy working.

He said that I'm the person he talks to most out of all his friends but given recent events, he'll probably only be able to see me once or twice a month.

He's also not a big texter. Short and to the point but he always gets back to me. No dropped texts. I've always got the sense he hates texting.

So, any ideas what I could suggest or do so that a) I still get to see my best friend and b) he always makes me so happy when he's around like not very many people can. I'm about to go through the most difficult time of my life when my Grandpa dies and my best friend telling me I won't be seeing him much anymore compounds my grief 10-fold.

It's hard to find a new best friend quickly. So, where do I turn to fill to fill this gaping hole in my heart? Could hardly sleep last night.

[Lifelong Protester]

1. I am sorry you are going through this.

I have no good suggestions, but I'll listen.

[NewsCenter28]

2. Thanks protester!

Nothing else to add for now❤️

[chia]

3. It sounds like your friend is pretty overwhelmed at the moment

The first baby literally turns a parent's life upside down, and this baby is very newly arrived. Your friend's wife is very sick after just having had her first baby - they both must be completely exhausted and overwhelmed. At times like this, many people will pull in to protect their core, in the same way your body will let the extremities go in order to protect the vital organs.

I understand you're going through a difficult time yourself and I'm sorry for the loss you're preparing yourself for, but your friend may simply be too overwhelmed in trying to support his own little family to be able to extend his resources outside his own small circle. As a good friend, I'm sure you can understand how difficult things are for him right now, and I wish you all strength and peace as you offer your own loving support to your grandpa in his time of need.

[PennyK]

4. Didn't you ask him why?

I would have taken it to mean there was something that would be keeping him from getting together with you. i would've asked him what's wrong. If you two are such great friends, I'm not seeing the regard for his situation that you should have.

[NewsCenter28]

5. I didn't

Didn't want to rock the boat.

[furtheradu]

6. So sorry for Your Troubles

You &Your Friend are both going through some of the hardest times of Life, of LOVING someone.

Please don't take it personally, but let him know You're there for him if/when he wants/needs to talk. Maybe he can offer You the same, maybe not..

YOU need Your own support system, but that's not limited to Your Friend..
I suggest spending as much time & energy with Grandpa as You can. Talk with him, record Your time together, take pics/video. While You need support, he is also needing YOUR love & support.
Try not to let any missed opportunities happen, no regrets.
Where he is being cared for, there is likely a social worker that can give You information on grief support counseling or groups. If not, use the Google machine, adding Your city to the search.

Remember to take goood Care of YourSelf!!! Great You exercise, get out in Nature! & try to eat & sleep well, too.

Don't forget DU is a great resource, check out the groups! & DUers are always nearby, specially Loungers! Just holler!

I think it hurts to Love, sometimes.
But the Angels envy US.