Tearing my hair out after a call with a condescending, patronizing bureaucrat.

[pnwmom]

I've been very worried about my college student's health -- he's had a fever of 101-102 for a week and he's getting worse rather than better. (He's seeing a doctor and having tests.) So, since he's missed a week of school so far, I called his college's advising office (a public 4 year) to tell them he was too sick to call on his own behalf, and to ask them if they could email his teachers to tell them he was sick. (One of the syllabi actually said that missed work could not be made up, even in the case of illness, and I wanted to know about that, too.)

The woman gave me a mini-lecture about how she didn't know how they did things at my son's high school, but she would not email his teachers or give me their contact info, because "this isn't how they do things in college." And that it is completely up to the faculty member whether he will allow a student to make up any work, no matter what the circumstances.

My blood pressure was soaring as I told her that she shouldn't tell people that "this is how they do things at college," because that is wrong. That is ONLY the policy of THAT college. At the colleges my other two students went to, the administration would have been glad to help a parent of a sick student communicate with faculty. (She wouldn't even look up my son's schedule or give me the faculty email addresses.)

My other students, however, attended private colleges. That's what you pay the money for: service -- and why public institutions get a bad name. "This is how they do things at college" is false. It's only how they do things at large, uncaring, institutions.

[cyndensco]

1. Has your son been tested for mono?

I was a sophomore in college when I suffered with it...high temperature, fatigue, achiness.

I hope your son feels better soon.
.

[pnwmom]

4. Thanks. I'll ask. n/t

[DiverDave]

2. Call back and get her name

Then go up the chain until you get satisfaction.

You have the right to be treated with respect, I dont care who you talk to
You deserve AT LEAST that!

Please post what you find out.

[pnwmom]

8. If I get the energy, I will.

I have to take our hurt dog to the vet first, before I tackle the college people again.



But after going through the long voice-mail chain to get there, I doubt that I'll be able to reach anyone who will be more helpful. She wouldn't give me the emails of the professors -- why would she give me contact info for her superior?

[csziggy]

9. For the professors' emails check the college website

I know that at Florida State University every faculty member and most of the staff emails are listed somewhere on the university website. It could be that it's Florida - Sunshine Law - but I would think most places would have contact information at least for the department, if not the individual professors.

Good luck - and I hope your college student and hurt dog are both well very soon!

[elleng]

3. False as to other large state universities,

and my experience with my daughter's. They wanted to be and were quite helpful.
Sorry. Breathe.

[pnwmom]

6. That's good to know -- thanks. n/t

[hedgehog]

5. Is he tied to any particular school - i.e. English, Engineering, Social studies?

Try contacting the dean of that school for assistance. It's a real hit, but if worse comes to worse your student may have to take a medical withdrawal for this semester.

It's been my experience that my kids were reluctant to raise a ruckus for themselves regardless of the problem. I heard some hair raising stories of sociopath room mates only long after the fact.

It's also been my experience that many teachers take no notice if even an A+ student suddenly stops coming to class.

[pnwmom]

7. No, he's just trying to finish up his A.A. and getting ready to transfer.

So this is happening at an especially bad time.

I've been frustrated at times because it seemed he hadn't been pushing enough. But now I understand better the kind of attitudes he's been up against. He's gotten some poor advising from a string of advisors. Each time they send him to a new advisor who decides that the previous person --or even the computer spreadsheet -- was wrong and he needs a different course or two to finish the degree. The same thing has been happening there to the son of a friend of mine.

It's like being stuck in a Kafka novel.

[mrmpa]

10. A couple of years ago my brother was in the hospital over Christmas in an induced coma.........

his youngest son attends an out of state private college, where he plays football. I emailed the coach gave him the information on what was going on with his player and his father. The coach emailed me, saying he would reach out to my nephew. Not only did the head coach call my nephew but so did all the other assistant and position coaches.

My nephew commented to his sister that he couldn't understand why they all called him. His sister told him, there's a reason you go to a private smaller school..."they care".

[cecilfirefox]

11. She's completely right.

I'd like to says as a disclaimer- I am a senior at a state university, graduating this semester. My take is such,

1) No, moms do not call in for their sick children in college. That is A) Not appropriate, and B) The office you called was not his professors, GTA's, or anyone tasked with doing what you asked that.

2) If he is seeing a doctor he'll have documentation and be able to show his teachers it- and generally all teachers will have some sort of policy for documentation. If they don't, he can take it up with them.

3) Mono. Sounds like mono.

[hedgehog]

12. How're things looking today? Any better?