New David Thorne essay

[central scrutinizer]

http://27bslash6.com/sign.html

Excerpt:
Firstly, our dogs don't smoke pot. Laika just isn't into it and Banksy will lose his forklift license if he tests positive at work.
Secondly, it's a subdivision, Carl, not a village - you're the subdivision idiot. Nobody wants to live in a village. I've seen them in movies, there's pigs and goats everywhere and everyone has to run when the King's swordsmen ride through. Our letterbox is at the entry to the subdivision which is too far to walk and too close to drive so I take the ATV. At least it gives you something to discuss at the meetings apart from how much you all love Consumer Cellular.
I simply assumed you'd begrudgingly facilitate a simple request that may increase the likelihood of us no longer being neighbors. It's not as if I asked you to remove the plastic wishing-well with the huge neon $39.95 General Dollar sticker - or the cast-iron single bed frame you turned into a flowerbed on your front lawn. It looks like a child's grave, Carl. Nobody is driving past your house and declaring to their passengers, "Oh look, that's a creative use of a child's bed, the owner must be a professional landscape designer. Let's stop and make a wish." They're shuddering and locking the doors.

End excerpt. If you haven't read his other pieces, some are hysterical. Try this one:
http://27bslash6.com/missy.html

[Ron Obvious]

1. Love his stuff!

"Rather than bickering, we should all sit down together, perhaps over a plate of ramp & squirrel pie with grits at your place, and discuss what we are going to do with the shit-ton of coal we're all going to have once the mines are opened again. My suggestion, for what it's worth, is to pile it up along the Mexican border and set it alight."