Am totally discouraged. Got the thrill of my life when I received an I-phone 17 this

[allegorical oracle]

Christmas. But am struggling to use it. Even ordered a tutorial book.

It's my first I-phone -- had only flip phones before. People keep messaging me, but it's only words. No expression, no feeling behind the words. It's difficult to respond in a way I would want. Struggle to capitalize words and place proper punctuation.

So I'm missing phone calls where I actually spoke to real people and heard how they felt. Not just words.

What's wrong with me? It feels so empty and it's making me dislike the nice gift I got from people dear to me.

[CurtEastPoint]

1. It took me a while to get into texting. It's a learning curve. But I get what you're saying. I'm 75 and remember

the 'good old days' on a dial phone and a loooong receiver cord

[Earthrise]

15. It takes too long to dial 1-888-9879

I was happy when push button phones came out.

[Irish_Dem]

23. Now I hate to push buttons and talk on the phone.

It is much easier to scroll and send a quick text.
And if you take a quick picture and send a quick text, people are totally happy.
It is a no brainer.

[Bluestocking]

17. Remember when the cord was always tangled up

[BlueWaveNeverEnd]

2. 99% of my phone communication is text or email

I hadn't thought about how jarring that must be to someone new to the tech.

Sending you good vibes.

[multigraincracker]

29. Lucky to have a younger wife to help me.

Have an Ip 15 and only use about half of what it offers.
Would love to have a simple basic one. Plus I have fat fingers.

[Irish_Dem]

3. Be patient.

Last edited Wed Feb 4, 2026, 05:46 PM - Edit history (1)

1. Learning something new takes time. BTW learning new tasks helps
prevent dementia because it builds new neural pathways.

2. The new technology can be very helpful in too many ways to list.

3. The young people in the family would rather communicate by text.
So you will hear from them more if you have text capability.

4. Use the speak to text feature on your text. You hit the little microphone icon
and speak, it turns your words into text.

5. Use the little emojis on your message to jazz it up and express your feelings.

6. I wish I had the I17, it is a new model and has bells and whistles!

[allegorical oracle]

5. Thank you. Especially like your #4. As usual, I find your advice inspiring. Insofar as your

point #6, I wish I'd started this journey with an earlier model of phone. Am not a good bells and whistles person. I still drive a car with a manual transmission.

[Irish_Dem]

20. I confess I do the same.

I have an I16 because I have small hands and needed a smaller phone.
But I mainly only do the basics with it.

Text people, take pictures, play candy crush.

I also have some good aps that help me out.
Open the garage door etc.

I am the same way with my car.
I have an automatic but turned off some of the fancy stuff.
I don't like it when the car takes over.

Well yes it would be easier now for you if you had done this years ago.
But even the simple phones back then were a big learning curve.
All the more reason to do it now.

I have an 85 year old friend who got an iPhone last year for the first time.
She had a conniption fit over it, but I sat down with her and taught her
to do texts with emojis and then she went to town on it. She loved it so much.
Her grandkids are having a ball with her.

You can also get online anytime you need it.
And that can save you time and money.
Also in an emergency you have a reliable phone always with you.

[allegorical oracle]

21. You make many good points. It is reliable. Have a steno pad, now, with just icons and

what they mean. Still have some I haven't found, yet. One looks to take my blood pressure, but am not sure. But I can dial 911 easily.

[allegorical oracle]

4. Thanks to you both. Frankly, i'm in tears in some days as I fumble with this tool

that holds such promise.

Others my age, (yeah, I'm old) who have been in this I-phone world for years, can't understand me. Part of me doesn't want this extant way of communicating, but know it's the future. Just makes me sad that we've sunk to such a distant way to send personal messages to one another.

[IbogaProject]

11. Try logging onto here with it

Just to get practice.

[cksmithy]

6. Not an Apple user, I have had a samsung smart phone for years.

I wish I just had a simple cell phone for calls, texting and to take pictures. Apps and games always appear, I don't order them, they just appear. I hate them. I too, prefer an old fashioned phone call or conversation face to face. It is very difficult to text on my phone, I'm sure there is a way to do it from my laptop, where it would be easier on my spine and arthritis. I am too old old to figure that out.

I am so old, my first job was working for Pacific Bell as a long distance operator, plugging a cord in to a lighted socket, and saying "operator." Finding out what they needed and connecting their call by plugging in the corresponding cord and dialing the caller's needed number. The good old days. 1970

[allegorical oracle]

12. Oh, am older than you. Recall those phone systems of plugging cords to connect people. As

great as new tech is, I still feel we're losing personal touch with each other.

Winter weather forced me to take laundry to a laundromat, yesterday. Had a ball -- met so many nice people doing their laundry. Maybe we're simply missing real life human connection.

[3catwoman3]

30. I remember my mother saying she and her 15 months younger sister liked...

...to play at being telephone operators. Their bed headboards were metal and the design was rows and rows of little perforations (either hexagonal or octagonal) that looked very much like the boards the operators sat at. They would plug things into the perforations and pretend to be operators.

This would have been way back in the early 1930s. I remember those headboards from visiting my grandparents' house in the late 1950s-early 1960s.

Thanks for the memory.

[eppur_se_muova]

7. I've never responded to a text. Eventually people get the message: phone and talk, or don't bother me. nt

[allegorical oracle]

14. Bless you... I agree.

[intheflow]

8. Rule #1 of texting:

Let go of the need to capitalize, and punctuation can be fudged.

Sentence 1: Capitalization
I mean, if you're texting your friend about another friend named Brian, they will know who brian is even if you don't capitalize his name.

Sentence 2: Punctuation
I mean if you're texting your friend about another friend named Brian they will know who brian is even if you don't capitalize his name or use exact punctuation.

I'm also very fond of using emojis to express my emotional intent.

If you miss talking to people so much, text them and ask when a good time to call would be, so that you can catch up without typing back and forth.

Good luck!

[allegorical oracle]

16. Thanks for that advice. Already made a friend angry when I was "practising" -- woke her

up at 5 a.m. Didn't do it on purpose, of course. So appreciate your good luck wish. (My friend forgave after yelling at me.)

[intheflow]

19. Ah, your friend has to learn the #2 rule of texting.

Turn off your ringer before you go to sleep!

[allegorical oracle]

22. LOL! Thanks...I needed that.

[mahatmakanejeeves]

9. Do what I did: have coworkers half your age who know what to do.

If it hadn't been for them, I wouldn't have any idea what to do with this thing, a third generation iPhone SE, years behind yours.

It's like learning calculus in Latin: it's going to take a while.

[allegorical oracle]

24. Good advice....now if I can only find someone half my age... (yikes).

[mahatmakanejeeves]

27. What do you mostly use your phone for?

As a phone?
Texting?
Surfing the net?
As a camera?

[allegorical oracle]

33. Umm...a phone, some texting, and definitely as a camera. Still want my computer to discuss

in-depth subjects.

[intheflow]

32. Go to your local public library!

Either a librarian can help you on the spot or they can connect you with a different free service that can help you. I’m a librarian and most of us can teach the basics. But if you happen upon a tiny library in, say, Oklahoma, they might refer you to a tech help clinic from a local high school or college.

[marked50]

10. I can understand.I only have a flip phone.Rarely use it. I, too, try and communicate person to person via face/voice-nt

[Earthrise]

13. What I would do: Give it away! Find a model for "seniors" and tell your friends and love ones that

you needed something that was easier to see and hear and do the things you want to do.

I am purposefully looking for familiar "old-fashioned" products because they are easier to use. I bought a washer and dryer with dials and knobs. I love it! I don't need 22 different options for washing a load of laundry.

Consumer Cellular has an "Iris Easy Flip."

I've never used a Jitterbug, buy they have a Smart Phone.

[allegorical oracle]

18. Oh you have no idea of how many times I've considered your advice. There's part of me, 'tho,

that hates to admit defeat. Have always mastered tasks -- from riding horses to playing a piano -- and it grates me to fail at this.

[allegorical oracle]

25. Have friends who are "losing it" over their new washer/dryers because of all the

permutations and combinations of choices they have. Am beginning to believe that humans don't need more choices in their lives...but I'm old.

[mahatmakanejeeves]

26. Ageism! Old people have to have products dumbed down for them? Really?

The day I stop learning is the day I die.

[CrispyQ]

28. I found YouTube to be really helpful.

How do I do X on my Y?

A lot of the vids for something really specific are very short. Commit some time now getting familiar with your device & then find some fun things to do. I love phone games & last year I started geocaching, too. When you snap a picture you can share it right away. You can pull up recipes on your phone. And you can play music while doing it all. Resistance is futile.

[allegorical oracle]

34. Yes -- have found some that are helpful. Sadly, many videos assume you already know

stuff that I don't know. Or, they don't show what the phone's screen should look like. Have found that to be a flaw in the tutorial book I purchased. My screen doesn't look like it should.

[3catwoman3]

31. I got an Apple phone when our younger son started college in 2011.

I knew he would be much more likely to respond to a text than a call or voicemail. His voicemail message at the time was a fairly blunt, "Hi, this is XXX. Don't leave a message."

He has now been a self-employed photographer/videographer for several years, and has a very cordial voicemail message that assures existing and potential clients that he will get back to them ASAP.

Besides the things I would usually use any sort of phone for, I am "hooked" on cell phone Solitaire by Branium. It is a great way to pass the time when I am waiting somewhere for something, like at a doctor's office, or while my gas tank is filling up, or waiting to board an airplane.

Hang in there - you can do it!

[marybourg]

35. Explore settings (on your home screen). Find the setting for notifications.

Toggle off notifications from any app you don’t want to be bothered hearing from.

[bif]

36. A feature I enjoy is dictating to Siri

And having her convert my voice message into a text. I do it all the time.

[DiamondShark]

37. Look on the bright side...

At least they're not using AI to write the messages.